


I'm high on believing (that you're in love with me)

by mercuryretrograte (brujadelmar)



Category: EXO (Band), Multi-Fandom
Genre: Divorce, Ex Sex, Idols, Idols everywhere, Love Triangles, M/M, Magazines, Many Couples, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Minor Kim Jonghyun/Lee Taemin, Minor Lu Han/Oh Sehun, Multi, Musical References, Self-Indulgent, Social Issues, Social Media, minor surprise pairings, past Baekyeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-07 18:23:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 65,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13440582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brujadelmar/pseuds/mercuryretrograte
Summary: Jongdae has to write an article about some idols' divorce, his place is fucked up and he can't find the guts to ask a hot barista out.Music Journalism AU.





	1. INTRO It’s gonna be electric

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has Jonghyun as a character. Please read the tags.

 

 

A drop of water hits his nose.

Jongdae opens his eyes, rubs his face, sits in bed. The leakage problem again. He will talk to the landlord this week. Before even washing his face, he picks a _post-it_ , writes it down and glues it on the fridge.

 

Call the hot couple, water shit

 

He’ll have a long day. He chooses his big messenger bag, his _ok_ shoes, the mess of papers over the table and his best earbuds. The subway ride is quick, even if Jongdae is smashed between two really tall men; he isn’t sweaty when he gets in the building and the receptionist is always nice to him.

The problem starts in the elevator when he has to face his co-workers. Today, he has to deal with than crazy youtuber they’ve hired, Hoseok, and the hot lesbian editor, Sunmi, at the same time. They seem to speak different languages, but Jongdae is a skilled man – he was an exchange student in three different countries in his graduation and masters. It took eight years to finish his university course, but it was fun.

The fun is over.

It was over in the moment he was hired to work in one of the biggest magazines of the country. He was hired immediately after his graduation, solely based in the popularity of his thesis, published in a newspaper’s compilation; it analyzed how tightly connected was music and national identity through the most popular magazine between young people. And now, he was working for them, the fricking _Rolling Stone_.

It was supposed to be a great thing. And, in a way, it was. Just a small problem.

 

“Boy, like, I’m going to write at least ten pages about the _Vine_ disaster,” Hoseok says, drinking from a personalized cup. He was wearing the most ridiculous sweater Jongdae has ever seen, but that’s no news; this man looked like he was trying to break a record in bad taste for clothing. “How long Twitter is going to ignore the crescent popularity of the app even after being discontinued?”

“Is this the main article for next month?” Sunmi asked, applying her lipstick like a professional, using a tiny hand mirror. “The _viner_ s and everything?”

“No, I guess it’s about that new music reality show with Idols,” he shrugs. “God forbid us to do a fucking edition without Idols on the cover. That’s the reason people prefer the Japanese one.”

“Yeah,” she nods. “We seem like any other music magazine, but without some bonus posters to hang on the wall.”

Both laugh and Jongdae smiles awkwardly.

The little problem is, actually, a bag full of problems. The first one is: _Jongdae has no idea about what the fuck is going on in the world_. What’s a _vine_?

He waves at them while turning to go the reunion room. Next, to the espresso machine, Jongdae sees, like an oasis in the desert, his two favorite co-workers. He lets out a sigh and says hello, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

“Damn, man,” Chanyeol smiles empathetically. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping lately.”

“Are you having insomnia again?” Kyungsoo says, before whistling some air on his coffee. “Have you visited the doctor I recommended you?”

Second problem: _Jongdae only sees his favorite coworkers twice a month_ , when they assemble to plan their monthly schedules and to decide the articles.

“Sometimes I sleep,” Jongdae says. “Sometimes I don’t. What were you two talking about?”

“Chanyeol is proud of a new scar,” Kyungsoo says and sips his coffee, profoundly disinterested.

“Man, I almost died in a mosh pit,” he smiles, lifting his shirt to show a cut with stitches next to his belly button. “I ended up in a hospital after the _Sepultura_ concert in Japan.”

Jongdae inspects it and counts three stitches. Chanyeol is smiling from ear to ear – it’s hard to decide if he’s proud or he’s just happy he can expose his abs to Kyungsoo.

“Ah, that’s… nice. Did you have fun?” Jongdae frowns. “I read the piece. It sounded nice.”

Ever goddamn article from Chanyeol sounds like he had the time of his life. He is the one covering tours and international performances. He’s oddly popular between musicians and celebrities; his job is his life. He only dresses in old band shirts and jumpers, dirty plaids and sneakers, like he’s always leaving some rock concert. In one famous article, he replaced the drummer of Linkin Park in a concert, because half of the musicians got stuck in a small accident on the road. Rumor has it he dated one of the girls of 2ne1 and two from Red Velvet, but who knows, really.

“Fuck, it was awesome,” he says. He also always says that. “I asked you guys to come with me.”

“Some of us have work to do,” Jongdae sighs. “This is yours, I know.”

“Ah, fine,” he rolls his eyes. “But you never go anywhere, Jongdae. Where are you hiding?”

“Home, working.”

“Okay, okay,” Chanyeol gives up. “But Kyungsoo, you like Sepultura…”

Kyungsoo stares at him, disgusted.

“No offense, but I’d rather die,” he sips his coffee again. “I like to hear them in my house. In peace.”

It’s a bit pathetic to witness how badly Chanyeol tries to get closer to Kyungsoo. Jongdae is very aware no one in that building wants to do that. Kyungsoo is a nice and caring person – Jongdae survived an entire month solely stealing his Tupperware’s full of homemade food, - but he can be a little… well. He is probably the hardest music critic of the country, and he’s younger than Jongdae. Kyungsoo may be a good person, but he is really hard to please, and his album reviews could end careers. Since HyunA said that his criticism made her rethink her music, he’s the one doing the agenda. If Kyungsoo says no, it’s no. End of story. It doesn’t help that he’s not very expressive, or maybe it’s just his all-black closet; people are terrified of him. Jongdae saw once Junmyeon, their editor, almost jumping the window so Kyungsoo wouldn’t see him after the food money cut (Kyungsoo has an expensive taste in food, and since they had to eat snacks in the office instead of actual meals, he works at home).

“Ah, but this month you can come with me, right?” Chanyeol asks, sounding hopeful. His eyes are shining like he’s some anime girl in a shoujo. Jongdae feels empathy because he knows how hard it is to have an unattainable crush.

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo says.

“All right, boys, coming in,” Junmyeon calls from inside the room. Jongdae picks his coffee fast, just in case. He can’t fall asleep on the table in every meeting. “Today we have to hurry.”

“Don’t comment anything about his plastic surgery,” Chanyeol whispers. “Both of you.”

Jongdae and Kyungsoo exchange confused looks. The table is already occupied by the rest of the team. Junmyeon is walking from one side to another, drinking coffee. He’s a fun person out of work, but he’s an intense workaholic when he’s in his editor position. Jongdae knows it must be hard; the music section is the most important in the magazine. The thing with Junmyeon is just his own worry. He’s young, attractive and successful, but he hardly accepts criticism and he’s not very confident. He uses expensive clothes, cares too much about his appearance and tries too hard to please people.

“Good morning,” Jongdae mumbles. He sits after Chanyeol and Kyungsoo because they have the habit of gravitating around each other. Chanyeol occupies at least half of the table, and Kyungsoo sits next to him, in the corner; Jongdae is forced to sit in the middle because Taemin and Yoona are on the other side.

“So, hey, I’m having few troubles with the designing team,” Junmyeon says, finally facing them. Oh. _His lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z_. “They hate the new photographer, apparently. So, we must go straight to the point today.”

“I can’t go straight,” Taemin grins. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

The team laughs, because well, intern joke. Taemin is the one who specialized in the diversity topics. In theory, he was a part of the music section, but anything involving gender and sexuality had his touch. In the music team, he’s the one responsible for the new albums, new bands, new things.

“Also, no jokes,” Junmyeon glares, like Taemin gives a single fuck about his rules. “Kyungsoo, what are you going to write about?”

“The only possible thing,” Kyungsoo stares at his boss like he’s the stupidest person on earth. “Namie Amuro’s final album.”

Chanyeol screams _yeah_ and Yoona claps, excited.

“So, everybody agrees on that?” Junmyeon asks, tired.

“Fuck yeah,” Chanyeol says, reclining over the table. “I will cover the first show of her final tour. I already talked to her agent, and I can even visit the backstage. If she allows me to, maybe an interview? We all know she doesn’t like to talk, but… ”

“Don’t go offering sexual favors,” Yoona points. “And please don’t make her angry. I don’t want to watch the same news over and over again because she’s hiding. I’ll talk to her fan club and I can make the article about the public reception. I’ve been collecting few things already. People are freaking out.”

Yoona is the oldest, the wiser and the most professional of the team. She works with media and every report involving cameras – she’s the face of the magazine. She could easily be a model, but she wasn’t interested in being just a pretty face. A few years ago, they found out she had a stable relationship with the biggest singer of the country, IU.

“Good,” Junmyeon nods. “Taemin?”

“Ah, I’ve got some album recommendations already done. They invited me to a pop group debut, and I think I can talk about more things, but I don’t have everything with me right now.”

“And the interview, guys? Even if Chanyeol gets to talk with Namie Amuro, and if he does that, we got the fucking cover, still, we have to give our monthly interview. And I don’t want to pressure you, but movies have Tarantino this month.”

Silence. Absolute silence. Jongdae notices he’s still with his bag in his lap. More Silence. Jongdae puts the bag on the floor.

“Okay, listen,” Junmyeon presses his temples, closing his eyes. “I have been asked to talk about the current news. You know, the scandal.”

“Oh,” Yoona nods. Taemin does the same and Chanyeol rubs his chin.

“What scandal?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongdae can’t express how grateful he is. Only Kyungsoo is more uninterested in the news than him.

“Idols thing,” Yoona rolls her eyes. “Taeyeon and Baekhyun.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo answers dryly. “So, are we covering gossip now?”

“Pop culture is culture,” Junmyeon says passionately. “If the nation’s favorite couple divorced, then we have a national problem. Jongdae can talk about that.”

Oh, yeah. _His thesis_.

“Yeah…” Jongdae says. “But I don’t know much about them… specifically.”

“Ah, you will have time. Big boss asked Long Reads for a cover of their divorce, careers, impact, well. But I thought it would be really great if we get to interview him.”

“Him,” Jongdae repeats. “You mean Baekhyun?”

“Yeah. She’s the one who asked for a divorce, and he’s been treated like a trophy husband since they got together, I figured it would be great to give him a space to talk freely,” Junmyeon says proudly. “I mean, you don’t have to do anything else if you got this. If it’s good, we can even have a two-page article. What do you think?”

All the eyes are on Jongdae.

And that, my friend, is the third and the critical problem: _Jongdae is inexperienced_.

It wasn’t a big problem in the beginning. Everybody has to start somewhere, right? He wasn’t expecting to be, like, the main writer after one month in the magazine, after all; he just wants to learn. But “newbies” meant “slaves” in magazine slang. Jongdae has been working there for nine months, and he’s already thinking about quitting. He won’t, but he dreams about it.

“ _So, everybody will be “Namie Amuro” and I will do some variety show article_?”, he wants to ask, but what he really says is:

“I guess I can try to contact him,” Jongdae smiles, shrugging. “But I don’t guarantee anything.”

(and that’s the fourth and maybe the _real_ problem: _Jongdae is not very confrontational_. He’s the guy who laughs, make jokes, and pretends he’s not really dying inside.)

At least he has his own article this time. In the previous months, he just finished what the team couldn’t do, did some small reviews and acted like he was a reviser to his coworkers. But this doesn’t change the fact he had to sit and watch his team living their dream life while Jongdae was stuck at work until midnight to do some intern’s job.

Chanyeol does every cool thing; he meets famous people all the time, and his articles are popular on the internet. This bitch met Beyoncé and got a tattoo on his ass after following the Paul McCartney World Tour. Kyungsoo may be the nightmare of many musicians, yeah, but he gets a lot of gifts and favors from important people trying to bribe him. He’s invited to talk on television shows and magazines, and his opinion matters to the music world. And then you have Taemin, whose job is to listen to new music and go to small gigs – his work is to do what people do to escape from work. And Jongdae doesn’t even want to think about Yoona, the queen of media, who has free access to pretty much anything in the entertainment industry.

Jongdae has to spend his late nights and dawns in a 24-hour coffee shop because he can’t find the guts to ask the hot couple to fix whatever is causing the leakage in his apartment – in his really expensive apartment – and his boss thinks he should do every possible work in the Music section.

“Ah, I’m sure you will do great,” Junmyeon smiles – it will take a while to Jongdae get used to his new features. “I’ll talk to you at the end of the week, just to see how I can help you.”

Jongdae picks a post-it, takes his Moleskine from inside the bag and writes on it:

 

_ Call mom, ask for help and admit failure _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s not that bad,” Chanyeol says, half-munching. He is spitting food on Kyungsoo’s immaculate kitchen table, but Kyungsoo isn’t a bad mood today. “You’re going to talk about what everybody wants to hear. Have you seen the news? That’s all they talk about lately, baekyeon this, baekyeon that…”

No place would serve food better than Kyungsoo’s, so they hang out in his home. Probably one of the most impressive small apartments in the country; Kyungsoo has a nice taste for home-related things. His kitchen equipment must cost the same price as Jongdae’s entire belongings. Or his entire life.

“I don’t think it’s bad either,” Kyungsoo says, finally. He’s eating the hamburgers with fork and knife. “You don’t have to talk about his personal life. Just let him talk, and then you will create anything you want from it.”

Jongdae eats his burger in silence. He needs more beer.

“Also, let’s be honest, that’s better than the vine thing. Baekhyun is popular, after all. And he’s a really great guy—” Chanyeol is speaking when he’s interrupted by Kyungsoo’s snort. “What?”

“Baekhyun? You mean the guy who sent me a penguin drawing saying ‘ _my name is Kyungsoo and I’m sexually frustrated’_?”

“If I remember correctly, you also said in a review that you would prefer to die and be reincarnated _as a chicken_ than listen to his album again,” Chanyeol says pointedly. “That was kind of harsh.”

“I wasn’t lying,” Kyungsoo spits, and he picks his phone to show them something. “Listening to his album was torture, but that doesn’t give him the right to harass me.”

On the screen, there’s a picture of a man trying to hide behind a light pole. Jongdae and Chanyeol look at it, confused.

“After he put several penguin drawings with passive-aggressive messages, I caught him in the front of my house to leave another one,” Kyungsoo explains, touching the screen to show them all the pictures. “I went after him and he pretended he was a tree.”

Chanyeol laughs hard, hitting the table many times.

“That’s not even the worst part,” Kyungsoo continues to move the pictures under Jongdae’s curious gaze. “The next morning, he sent me flowers with a card.”

The image showed a bouquet with a heart shaped card: _“sorry for yesterday! I lost my shit hahaha. Also, you’re very attractive in real life, if I wasn’t married I could fix your sexual frustration, ya know what I mean??? Ps: how does your ass look so good in khaki pants, man that’s a real gift”_

Jongdae stares at it for a few seconds, jaw dropped. Then, he feels an intense urge to laugh, something rising from his guts violently. He makes an odd sound before letting out the laugh, his body shaking intensely.

It was probably his first genuine laugh in days.

“That’s really funny,” Chanyeol says, wiping his eyes.

“That’s not funny,” Kyungsoo frowns, keeping his phone in his pocket. “That’s persecution, stalking and sexual harassment.”

Jongdae takes a while to compose himself, but when he finally does, he’s focused. He drinks a sip of his beer, licks his lips and says to himself, out loud.

“So, this is the guy I have to talk to, huh?”

“He’s not that bad,” Chanyeol says. “He’s just…well, a bit wild, sometimes… But his performances are great. He always sends me some tickets. We drank together once.”

“What about his music?” Jongdae asks curiously.

“A bit childish,” Chanyeol nods. “But not bad.”

Jongdae takes another bite of his burger and stares at Kyungsoo expectantly.

“I don’t think Baekhyun is… terrible,” Kyungsoo explains. “He has a great voice, for sure. A showman, no doubt. And maybe because of that, he doesn’t realize that popularity doesn’t mean quality.”

“What do you mean?” Jongdae asks, and now he’s the one spitting.

“Many Idols make the same mistake when they want to transition to a solo career. They want to abandon the “puppet image”, they want to show some sort of _realness_ and _transparency_ ,” he answers, serious. “And this is where they fail. They don’t abandon their mask completely because otherwise, they would lose a good part of their fanbase.”

“Makes sense,” Chanyeol nods. Jongdae agrees. “But I also remember you called his first solo album ‘ _a disgrace to the entire genre’_ and ‘ _my three-year-old nephew could do better’_.”

Jongdae laughs again. The beer is relaxing him.

“Also, true,” Kyungsoo plays with his beer. “If he’s one of the biggest singers of the nation, he has to at least try not be a clown or a stripper; half of the songs were cryptid about sex and the other half were about random things. Even his singing is bad because he doesn’t seem to be putting effort into what he’s doing. He knows he can fart in a bag and people will buy it.”

“He uses a lot of auto-tune, and the 80’s glow wave was not helping him,” Chanyeol seems to agree. “But I like him.”

“Well, I guess I can’t base my opinion on yours,” Jongdae points to both. “I’ll go do my research by myself and get my own conclusions.”

“Have you never heard about him?” Chanyeol is suspicious. “Really?”

“I know him by name. Being honest, I’ve never listened to Taeyeon either.”

Chanyeol gasps; Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.

“A crime,” Kyungsoo mumbles. “She’s really good.”

“Boy, her last tour was sold out in six countries in ten seconds,” Chanyeol says. “I had to do things I don’t like to remember so I could go.”

“I guess I’ll listen now,” Jongdae yawns. “Guys, I have to go. I work early tomorrow.”

“Ah, do you want a ride home?” Chanyeol offers. Jongdae went to Kyungsoo’s home with Chanyeol and he regrets every minute of it. He drives a 4x4 truck that hasn’t been washed since 2012. Kyungsoo drives a quiet Maserati.

“Sorry, guys, I’m not really going home,” he smiles. “I’m going to work for a while in that café next to the subway stop.”

“Is it the leakage again?” Kyungsoo frowns. “I can call my lawyer if your landlord doesn’t fix it immediately.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to them tomorrow,” Jongdae stands up. “It was really nice to see you two, really.”

“Call me if you need help,” Chanyeol smiles. “I will be in Japan, but my phone will work.”

“See you in two weeks,” Kyungsoo smiles too. Jongdae says goodbye and leave. The ride home is short by the subway; when he’s in a hurry, he drives his scooter. But taking the subway gives him an excuse to stop by the 24h coffee shop, _Chaleur._ It’s the perfect place to work: Wifi, nice coffee, open all night and quiet, good music. Also, the barista is hot as hell – but that’s just a detail. It’s not like he’s been Jongdae’s crush for the past year.

“Good night,” he mumbles as he opens the door. There’s always some writer with the notebook, and sometimes drunk teenagers, but today there’s just a woman reading and drinking a coffee shake.

“Good night,” Minseok answers. He’s stunning normally, but today he’s insanely cute in a baggy T-shirt; he seems as sleepy as Jongdae. “You’re early.”

Jongdae checks his watch: 9 o'clock. He’s used to staying up until 4 in the morning. If he’s yawning, he must be really sleep deprived.

“Yeah, I guess,” he tries to form words. “No disagreements in my meeting today.”

“Lucky you,” Minseok grins, and he has a small towel in his hands. He cleans the tables obsessively. “The same order?”

“Actually, I will need something stronger,” Jongdae sighs. “Or maybe that one for kids with rainbows on it.”

“Oh, you’re sad today?”

“No, lack of motivation.”

“Don’t worry,” Minseok winks. “I’ll help you.”

He’s sexy and he knows it; Jongdae feels beyond stupid to be such a fool for him. He’s probably just another admirer in a long line of dumb people. But who cares? It’s not like Jongdae will ask him out…

Jongdae takes his notebook from his bag and places it carefully on the table. He opens his mail and answers what he can, but he doesn’t do anything complicated until Minseok brings him the coffee.

“Kids’ special,” Minseok says. It’s the milkshake glass, the classic one with the red-and-white straw and the cherry. “But the coffee I put in it is for adults.”

“Ah, thank you very much,” he smiles sincerely. Minseok is so nice to him.

“Anything for my favorite customer,” Minseok says. Jongdae almost snorts. He probably says this to everyone, but Jongdae doesn’t mind.

Jongdae takes one picture for Instagram. He doesn’t like much, but he has to follow many people, and he will look like a stalker if he never posts anything. Also, it’s a nice memory.

Jongdae opens the google tab and types: _BAEKHYUN TAEYEON_. 60,000,000 results. Nice.

The first ones are the divorce news, but Jongdae isn’t interested in that right now. He looks for Baekhyun’s Wikipedia page.

_Byun Baek-hyun (born May 6, 1992), better known mononymously as Baekhyun, is a South Korean singer and actor. He was a member of the South Korean-Chinese duo EX-O along with his fellow EXO member Zhang Yixing._

Amazing. He was born just a few months before Jongdae. He has a long list of albums music and prizes, acting roles, musicals…Jongdae is tired just by reading it. He does some copy and pastes so he can analyze them later. Jongdae drinks his milkshake happily while doing it, so he takes some time to notice Minseok behind him.

“Never took you for a Baekhyun fan,” he says when Jongdae looks up.

“It’s for work,” Jongdae explains. “I don’t listen to Idols.”

“Oh, then, sorry. I thought you were just fangirling,” Minseok lifts his hands, chuckling, and walks away. Jongdae wishes he has the strength to ask him to sit and watch with him. He was almost sleeping again when he decided that maybe gossip would help him. He goes after official news first.

 

_21 August 2018_

**Taeyeon files for divorce from Baekhyun**

By KIM HYOYEON

 

_The Idol dream marriage is over. Singer Kim Taeyeon, 29, has filed for divorce from husband Byun Baekhyun, 26, citing irreconcilable differences. According to the court documents, the pair separated on July, four years after they married in June 2014. The couple started dating in 2012._

“ _We are sad to announce we are legally separating,” the couple said in a joint statement issued by SM Entertainment this week. “And we hope your fans comprehend this is a sensitive moment for both of us.”_

_SM Entertainment also expressed in a small statement that they will follow their activities as planned. Taeyeon is currently touring in Europe and Baekhyun is filming his new musical._

 

Jongdae thinks it’s a bit creepy to announce a separation in that way, so he clicks on a link from a popular magazine for housewives.

 

_13 September 2018_

**RIP BAEKYEON [2012-2018]**

By KIM KIBUM

_After six years together, Taeyeon and Baekhyun have called it quits! There has already been a ton of speculation about the demise of Baekyeon’s marriage, but there is no sign of an amicable divorce between SM's former golden couple. Here are the pictures so we can remember them in their good days._

 

Jongdae clicks on the pictures. He recognizes her face, Taeyeon. She’s a small and tiny girl, pretty and serious. Baekhyun, on the other side, is just a scrawny little kid. As Jongdae passes the pictures by, he is shocked to see how much Baekhyun has changed. Not physically, but… something in his appearance, makes him look more like an idol. In the last pictures, they no longer appear together. One has Taeyeon leaving a building, using sunglasses and holding an envelope and the last one has Baekhyun, at the same place, using a mask to cover half of his face. The other half, his eyes, are red and swollen.

That hits Jongdae hard, for some reason he can’t explain.

 _Singer Byun Baekhyun leaving a divorce court_ says the caption.

Jongdae head hurts. He rubs his eyes, and even after the entire milkshake, he’s still sleepy. He stares at Minseok cleaning a cup and thinks about being married. It must be nice, to have someone to come back to, to share everything… Jongdae can afford a nice apartment now, after years of being really broke, but it’s… cold, and sad. He can only imagine what it must feel like to have a warm body next to his in bed. Not really tall, but with brown eyes and brown hair falling on his face, chubby cheeks, and a delicious voice—

His phone vibrates.

 

 **Chanyeol:** stop staring at his ass and don’t forget to talk to your landlord

 **Jongdae:** leave my 19+ thoughts alone

 **Jongdae:** have YOU asked ksoo out?

 **Chanyeol:** this is not about me

 

Chanyeol is right, so Jongdae pays his bill and keeps his notebook carefully.

“Go sleep for a bit,” Minseok smiles, waving. Jongdae waves back happily. The subway is quiet when he takes his seat. Few people, no noise, kind of cold. Jongdae looks up, and, to his surprise, a giant Baekhyun is staring at him. In the ad, his hair is red, he has tons of makeup and he’s serious.

_Baekhyun – Lightsaber, from his new album, Supernova._

Jongdae stares back in a silent challenge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The second thing he does in the morning is to knock on their door. No phone calls; Jongdae barely remembers their names, let alone their voices. They live in the penthouse, and if Jongdae pays that much to live on the first floor, he can’t imagine how much he would have to give to live in a place like that. It’s scandalous, even for an apartment. There are paintings everywhere, big sofas, many, many souvenirs and clothes on every visible surface. Even the air seems to be expensive.

“Hello,” the tallest one says. He smiles and Jongdae is not sure if he’s being sarcastic. “How are you doing?”

“Could be better,” Jongdae says carefully. “I’m still having leakage problems. You know, the same from last month.”

“Ah… yes,” he mumbles, and he looks like he has no idea of what’s Jongdae is talking about. “You should talk to my husband, then. Come in.”

Jongdae sighs, already tired at eight in the morning. He sits down and checks his phone. He has to be at work in one hour. Also, he has to explain to his boss why he can’t do the interview. Jongdae called Baekhyun’s manager directly – at least he has this type of privilege – and he informed Jongdae that Baekhyun is forbidden from talking to the press _and_ doing public appearances until his next birthday. Approximately seven months.

Jongdae should’ve never left his bed.

“Sorry,” the cute one comes into the room, tying his red velvet robe. “Kim Jongdae, right? 101?”

“Yes,” Jongdae nods. “Nice to see you again.”

“I’m really sorry I haven’t fixed your apartment,” he sighs. “I put post-its in places to remember and Sehun throws clothes over them. I’ll call the repairman now, so I won’t forget. Thank you for being comprehensive.”

Yeah, Jongdae is very comprehensible. It’s his second name. Too-cool-Jongdae. Never angry.

“Thank you,” he mumbles and feels like an idiot doing that. The cute one picks up a phone and Jongdae checks his phone again. He signed up for an email subscription from the “Jedis” (Baekhyun’s FC is a reference from the light side of the force, and honestly this is so confusing) and a new twitter post pops up.

 

 **Be strong, Baek** @jedisline - 3 min

_BYUN BAEKHYUN RUMORED TO RELEASE A CHRISTMAS ALBUM – singer is seen around a big studio this morning._

 

“Ah, you’re a fan?” Tall one pops from nowhere. He’s a silent man; also, a bit scary. “He’s a friend of mine.”

“What?”

“Baekhyun,” he says simply. “He’s my friend.”

Jongdae blinks. The first time he heard about the apartment, his realtor laughed and said, t _he owner is a rich man and his hot toy boy_. To this day, Jongdae doesn’t know who’s the boy toy. Tall one seems to be walking an endless runaway and cute one has one ethereal beauty straight from a renaissance painting.

“Ahn… I work at Rolling Stone. I want to talk to him,” Jongdae mumbles. “But he…”

“Ah, he can’t. He can’t even leave home after the divorce,” Tall one explains. “But if you want to see him, you can go to a Supreme store. The legends say if you whisper his name three times there, he materializes with money.”

“What?” Jongdae laughs. Oh my god. Tall one made a joke. Tall one slaps him playfully.

“I’m kidding,” Tall one smiles. “If you want to talk to him you’ll have to face Kris and you’re too short for that. So, I suggest you wait for him at the ice cream store next to his house. Baekhyun is like, 5 years old and he loves the one with Cotton Candy. It’s a serious addiction.”

“Huh…Ice cream store next to his house…?” Jongdae picks a post-it and writes it down. He glues it on the first page of his Moleskine. “Thank you.”

“Ah, the repairman is coming today,” cute one says, shaking his phone. “Do you have anyone to stay at your house or can I give them my spare key?”

No. Jongdae has no one. Not even a cat. Minseok has a cat. Jongdae could have a Minseok, and then a cat as a bonus.

“No, you can give them the key.”

“Do you want to eat breakfast with us?” Tall one asks gently. “We have cake.”

“I would love to, but I have to be at work in less than an hour. So…”

Tall one pouts.

“You can come here anytime,” cute one offers. “We are neighbors, after all.”

 

 

 

 

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** namie’s manager said I could meet her

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** but I can’t publish ANY word she says

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** like, he threatens to sue us otherwise

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I love her XD

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I’ll be on the tv show Friday

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** guys I know it’s namie time

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** but I may have accidentally hooked up with a back dancer

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** help

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** also, I think I saw your ex, Yoona

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** pray so that demon doesn’t follow you

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** don’t worry Tae, happens to everybody

 

Yeah, everybody. Jongdae does that every week. Of course. It’s not like his last make-out session was in 2013.

 

 **BOSS:** Jongdae can you come here, please.

 

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes. Why can’t he just open the door, walk two meters and talk about what he wants? Half of the magazine employees think they’re fucking because Jongdae has to visit his room ten times a day. He’s also the only one in the music section who actually works at the office most of the time. Jongdae picks a coffee and he goes, anyway. Junmyeon is sitting in his chair and his lips are way less swollen today. He doesn’t seem to be an Asiatic Kylie Jenner anymore, and Jongdae now has to mock him only because of his bad socializing skills.

“Hello,” Jongdae says, standing.

“You can sit,” Junmyeon says, picking a pen. “It was _you_ who put a farting bag in my chair once, not the opposite.”

Jongdae tries his best not to snort.

“I was expecting a quick talk. The interns need help with the music news,” he explains, shaking his coffee cup carefully.

“I will send to someone else to do it,” Junmyeon says and points to the chair. “Not you. Now, please, sit down.

Jongdae smiles tentatively and sits, placing the coffee on the table carefully.

“So?”

“Chanyeol just called me telling me he won’t do the interview, only the article,” he says. “And Namie Amuro’s Lawyer warned me the same in a very… straightforward way.”

“Harsh.”

“Yeah. Also, Kyungsoo is revisiting Amuro’s entire discography. Taemin can't keep promises and Yoona hates writing.”

“No offense, boss, but I know that,” Jongdae can’t stop staring at his deer sweater. It’s October.

“Yeah, and you know a lot of other stuff. Unfortunately, you haven’t had your chance to show your entire potential. I want to apologize for that,” Junmyeon says, serious. Jongdae almost believes it. “Are you having trouble contacting Baekhyun?”

“Yes. His manager says he can’t talk. SM’s resolution, by the way.”

“I won’t pretend I didn’t predict that. It will be hard,” Junmyeon takes Jongdae’s coffee and sips it. “You’re the only one in the team with a journalism degree, did you know that?”

“Yes,” Jongdae says. Everyone else is a specialist or just a person with loads of experience. Jongdae has the exact opposite. “I know.”

“So, I was thinking, you should take this as your first signed article. Not just your initials. Your name and your style,” Junmyeon says passionately. “So, I want you to dedicate yourself exclusively to this. You don’t even have to come here, just report to me or your team.”

Jongdae blinks.

“What?”

“As long as you get him to talk, you will have all the time to yourself.”

Jongdae is so shocked that he actually grabs the coffee and takes it from his boss’ hands without noticing.

“What about the bucket?”

Junmyeon grins.

“If you have any bills, just call me.”

 

 

 

 

Jongdae is not ready for freedom. After the entire day helping the interns – he had to, after all – he stares at the street and asks himself what he will do having so many time to do… anything. He can go home, but he wants to see Minseok— drink a milkshake. He checks his Moleskine to see if there’s any bill to pay or something like that and remembers the ice cream thing. He shrugs to himself, _what’s the point of being an adult if you can’t eat ice cream at night?_

Somehow, he feels like a cheater when he takes the subway to a different station. He hopes Minseok never finds out he’s going to eat sweet things in another place. Oh, yeah. Minseok doesn’t care.

 

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** _ Editor is seen at the plastic surgery heaven _

**Taemin @ musicsection RS:** it’s from GOSH! They hate us

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I’m just waiting for them to publish our sex life

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I propose a bet

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** to find which one of us broke their heart

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Taemin

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** Taemin

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** Taemin

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I don’t really remember if I hooked up w/ them

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** ANY of them

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** so, Taemin

 

Since Baekhyun lives in the most expensive area of the town, it’s easy to spot the place. The ice cream store feels like a kid’s cartoon. The chairs are pink, shaped like a marshmallow; the tables are blue, shaped like waffles and biscuits; there are rainbows, hearts, and stars, in a videogame-like style, drawn in the walls. Many ingredients are seen in long, transparent tubes, and Jongdae realizes it’s because of the colorful faucet in the bottom of it.

“Hello,” a girl in a colorful combination smiles to him. “Welcome to Red Flavor. I’m Yeri, how can I help you?”

“I… want… wait,” he opens his bag, takes his Moleskine off and reads it. “Rainbow? Rainbow ice cream.”

“Ah, you mean our Cotton candy flavored ice cream,” she smiles. “Oh, yeah. Small, medium or large?”

“How big is the medium?”

“They’re all the same size. What changes it’s how much ingredients you can add to it,” she points to the tubs. “The large one you can add seven of those and two different sauces.”

Jongdae looks around. Skittles, M&Ms, jellybeans, gummy bears, chocolate sprinkles… Jongdae shakes his head. He’s an adult, he has self-control.

“Also, you can ask for our extra-large and get all of them. It comes with a toy,” she winks.

 

**Jongdae sent a picture**

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** ahhhh I love red flavor! <3

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Jongdae!!!!

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** you asshole!!!!!

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I have a photoshoot tomorrow I can’t eat shit

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** but after I do it, I’ll buy THE SAME thing

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** a bit exaggerated

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** seems good, though

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** here in Japan they have only weird candy

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** my mouth is watering

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS: t** omorrow I’ll visit you

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** well, finally!! someone come help me

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** (?`ω´?) Chanyeol, fighting!!!

 

Jongdae puts his bowl of ice cream (it’s glittery and unicorn-like) next to his laptop and starts working. He is doing his favorite thing: organizing lists, his schedule and reading some intern’s reviews. That girl Nayeon is very good, she has future in that—

He hears a sound. Jongdae looks behind – the store is literally all glass, but there’s an alleyway next to his side. Must have street cats in there. Jongdae reads his emails and answers few; most of his mailbox is just news and magazines. He doesn’t read the articles, it’s not his job, but he has to know what they’re publishing.

His phone rings.

“Hello?” Jongdae holds the phone between his cheek and shoulder, so he has both free hands to eat the ice cream.

“ _Jongdae? Kim Jongdae?”_ a voice with an accent asks. “ _Here’s Luhan. We talked this morning, remember?”_

“Yes, of course. What’s up?”

“ _The repairman said he needs more days to fix your wall. He had to break it to find the plumbing,”_ Luhan says. “ _Sehun says there’s water everywhere, but nothing is ruined, and you can sleep nicely.”_

“What?” Jongdae blinks. “What do you mean—”

Jongdae stops thinking and talking when he sees a dark thing leave the alleyway. It’s a whole man, dressed in a giant black jumper and Jongdae follows him with the eyes while the man enters the store. He walks to the girl.

“Can I have one of those,” the man says. His face is half covered by the jumper. “Now extra-large.”

“Kris told me to not feed you after the first bowl,” Yeri says, crossing her arms. “Stop, B.”

“Kris is not here now,” the man squeals. “I want more ice cream!”

“ _Jongdae,”_ Luhan says over the phone. “ _Are you still on the line?”_

“Anh, I am. So… can I at least go home?” Jongdae asks. The man turns to him; it’s still impossible to see his face, but he looks like he is surprised to see someone else in the store. Jongdae stares at his notebook, to pretend he’s not listening.

“ _Yes, you can. Sehun says the floor is messed up, but nothing is lost,”_ a noise interrupts the phone. “ _Oh, yeah. Sehun says few post-its are ruined because of the water flow. But that’s all.”_

Virgo Rule Number One: _not my post-its, bitch_.

“You called him?!” the man screams. “How could you, Yeri? I thought we were friends.”

“Yes, since you stepped here, half an hour ago. He’ll be here anytime,” she says exasperatedly. “I’m doing this for your own good, B!”

“ _Jongdae…?”_ Luhan says, but Jongdae is distracted by a giant figure forming few meters away from the same alleyway the man was. God, is he in the middle of something? He can’t die before watching the end of _Grey’s Anatomy_. Also, he wants a cat.

“Fuck,” the man says, probably seeing the same Jongdae did. For a second, the only two men in the store make eye contact. Listening to his guts, Jongdae hangs up and slowly puts the phone on the table.

“Okay, you can hide before he comes. I’ll tell him you left,” she says, worried. “But no more ice cream!”

The figure is now a tall, scary looking guy on the outside, and when Jongdae looks back at the man in the store, he almost falls from his chair. The man is running in his direction and the only thing Jongdae can do to stop the impact is to put his hands in front of his face and close his eyes. Nothing really happens for a few seconds.

“Oi! You,” the man says next to his face. Jongdae opens his eyes. “I’m really sorry for that, ok?”

“Huh,” Jongdae still says. The man grabs his hands and take them all of the ways and closes the distance between them. For a second, Jongdae can see his face but then is too late.

That must have been some really strong drug in that ice cream because Jongdae can swear Byun Baekhyun is kissing him.

“Where the fuck is he,” someone announces, entering the store. “He knows he can’t eat sugar during his training days!”

The guy (Baekhyun???) kisses Jongdae harder, forcing the tongue in. Jongdae makes a sound (something like “uhnnshhuhuuu”) and kisses back because he has not been kissed like that _in a while_. He can feel hands moving him, and now, Jongdae knows he’s being used as a cover; the man in his arms is almost completely hidden in their embrace.

He hears the girl’s voice and other, in distance, but he can’t pay attention. The guy literally sucks his lip and bites it, and Jongdae is dizzy, confused and horny, incapable of doing anything but moan in an embarrassingly high tone. _Goddamn_.

“He left,” Yeri says.

Jongdae isn’t even in this world when the kissing stops.

“Oh, thank you,” the guy says. Or he is Baekhyun or he’s a lookalike, honestly. “You taste good. Is that the cotton candy one?”

Jongdae blinks, mesmerized by the way he’s licking his lips.

“Definitely,” Baekhyun nods. “Nice taste. I’ll pay for it, don’t worry…”

He turns his head to read the name in the open email.

“… Kim Jongdae,” he smiles.

“What?” Jongdae mumbles, watching passively while Baekhyun or Baekhyun’s lookalike steals his bowl of ice cream and runs away from the store.

“Baekhyun!” Yeri screams. “God, he’s… impossible.”

Jongdae is in the same position, still trying to figure out what just happened.

“I’m really sorry,” she says. “I can give you something so you can take home.”

Jongdae slaps his own face to make sure he’s not sleeping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A drop of water hits his face while he’s eating ice cream.

“… _He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun,_ ” he mouths as Christina says on the screen. “ _You are._ ”

The repairman is coming in few hours and Jongdae does the only thing he can think of: watch his favorite show. It worked for few episodes, but now he’s already feeling bad to be not working. He gets out of his bed, already regretting not eating a regular breakfast, and sits in the table, in front of his notebook. While the system starts, he faces the real world through the messages on his phone.

 

**Chanyeol sent a picture**

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** got Taemin alive

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** fuck wait for me, I’m leaving on Saturday

 

Jongdae ignores the rest of the group messages because he notices his boss sent one.

 

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** how is the work going?

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** Jongdae, fighting!

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** (`ω´)9

 

How can Jongdae say “ _the man I must interview can’t talk to me, but he sure can stick his tongue in my mouth and steal my ice cream_ ”, but in a nice way? He takes a print of the screen.

 

**Jongdae sent a picture**

**Taemin @ musicsection RS:** damn

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** OMG

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** can he be more obvious???

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** you guys don’t get messages like this???

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** no, he wants to bang you

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I blocked him

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** He really wants your ass

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** he even sent an emoticon

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** he never sends me anything

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** guys, the interns are asking 4 a review of Yixing’s new album

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** Zhang Yixing????

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** yes, it’s for the site

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** I’ll do it

 

Jongdae offers to do it because he has to – not just because he would be probably the only one with free time. After all, he has to write something and if he has to talk about Baekhyun, at least he has to know his music history. Jongdae waits until the repairman comes so he can leave; he takes his notebook with him and stops in the first music store he finds on the way to _Chaleur_.

He hasn’t been to one of these in awhile because they receive tons of albums in the magazine for reviews. The place is covered on posters and merchandising, there are few teenagers wandering around and many sections by genre. He walks straight to pop, but he gets lost in the store; everything is bright and full of information – he just wants to post-it everything.

“Hey, man,” a tall girl interpellates him. “Looking for something specific?”

Jongdae inspects her. She has short hair, a beautiful face and she’s wearing a pink shirt over her black HAIM shirt. Eyeliner, skinny jeans and few posters in her hands; she’s definitely someone who would be friends with Chanyeol and one of Yoona’s exes. This is time for fieldwork.

“Where do I find Yixing’s new album?”

“Normally, the international rap section upstairs,” she says. “But this one is on the Best Seller’s next to the counter.”

“Oh, thank you,” he nods. “And how about EXO’s old albums?”

“National classics,” she nods. “Upstairs. I can take you there. Follow me.”

“Ah, thank you, I’m grateful,” he says. They walk between the sections. “I don’t really know much about EXO or EXO’s history. Are you a fan?”

She stops walking and turns back, frowning.

“So, you’re not a fan? Why are you buying their albums, then? You can listen to them on _Spotify_ ,” she chuckles. “I thought you came for the vinyls, honestly.”

“I don’t like technology,” he explains. “But I don’t have a turntable.”

“Oh, okay. Just saying because the only people who buy albums are teenagers and collectors,” she keeps walking, now next to him. “I’m not a fan of EXO, but they used to be good. I listen to them, sometimes.”

“I never actually paid much attention to them,” Jongdae says. “When I was living in China, I listened to Yixing, because he’s really popular there.”

“Were you there on April 12, 2012?”

“No, I was in California,” he says as they go upstairs. The first floor is just as full as the first, but now Jongdae can see the vinyls and the smell of coffee. Adult people are sitting down at tables, reading things. “What happened?”

“Yixing broke his contract, left EXO and the country,” she says, pointing to the side. “Hundreds of crying fans in front of SM… I was in college, and during the classes, they couldn’t talk about anything else. It was a mess.”

“Oh,” Jongdae nods. “And why did he do that?”

“Who knows? He said he wanted to study and focus on his acting career, like everyone else, but no one knows the real reason. He gets a lot of money in China now, being a solo artist,” she guides him to a shelf. “And so does Baekhyun, he’s on the royalty five now. So, I guess everybody is happy.”

“Royalty five…?”

“The five most popular soloists on the country, he just surpassed Taeyeon, can you believe that? Young people these days…” Sooyoung snorts.

“Really?” Jongdae bends to see better in the mess of CDs, posters, dolls, and cups. “Huh, three albums?”

“Yup,” she nods. “First one in 2010, the second one in 2011 and the third one in 2012.”

“I want them all. Also, the new Yixing’s album and maybe… how many albums does Baekhyun have?”

“Also three,” she says. “No offense, but like… only EXO’s first album is good. Yixing’s entire discography sucks and I flushed Baekhyun’s last album down my toilet.”

“Yeah, I heard about that,” Jongdae smiles. “My friend is a critic and he hates them. But I have to listen to it, unfortunately.”

“Teenagers like them a lot, but teenagers like shit like TWICE. I don’t understand why they put so many people in groups, you know?”

“Agree,” Jongdae chuckles. “How can the fans remember their names…?”

“No idea,” she laughs. “Since you’re a cool guy and you’re buying so many things, I’ll give you a gift.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let me see if I understood,” Minseok smiles, amused. “You want me to put the coffee in this EXO mug?”

Jongdae nods – he’s lucky today. Minseok only comes on the night shift, but today he’s in the evening, so Jongdae can talk to him until he leaves. Minseok told him he’s going to see his little sister’s ballet presentation and Jongdae had to bite his tongue to not invite himself.

“So, you’re not a fan of Baekhyun, but you’re an EXO fan?” he says, turning to make the drink. Jongdae starts his daily starring at the most pretty ass he has ever seen. He’s wondering when he suddenly remembers he was kissing someone just a day before. Crazy.

“I’m… not… a fan,” he says, shaking his head to shake his thought away. “I bought few albums and the lady at the store gave me this mug as a gift.”

“Nice,” Minseok grins, turning only his head to glance at Jongdae. “You must have powerful flirting then…”

Jongdae coughs, trying to laugh; he wants to scream.

“I wasn’t flirting. She was just nice. She looks like she is more into girls, actually,” he says politely, his face burning at little – but he’s good in hiding with a smile. “I think she wanted to free the store from this junk.”

“You can tell this only by looking at people,” Minseok laughs. The hot air from the coffee machine warms the ambient and Jongdae closes his eyes to smell better. When he opens them again, Minseok is decorating the Chantilly with sprinkles. “That’s shocking.”

“My co-worker explained to me how to identify a lesbian in ten steps, just so I don’t hit on them. Actually, she taught the entire team. But I have good intuition, that’s what my mother says.”

“Yeah? You catch things in the air…?” Minseok says slowly and Jongdae is thankful for being seated because his legs are like jelly. He opens his mouth to mumble anything and, of course, _of fucking course,_ his phone rings. It’s Luhan.

“Hello,” Jongdae sighs deeply and Minseok snorts.

“ _Heeey, Jongdae. How are you? Luhan talking,”_ he chuckles and Jongdae is just trying to find his inner peace, really. “ _Sehun says there’s a small problem today.”_

Jongdae wants to ask so many things: can’t Sehun talk on the fucking phone? What the hell is going on with the plumbing? Why do they have so much money but shit like this keeps happening?

“Yes, I’m listening,” Jongdae says instead. “What’s the problem?”

“ _They can’t finish the work today and they asked you to not sleep at home today, just in case,”_ Luhan says weirdly happy. “ _But good news: I called more people to finish the job so it’ll be probably done tomorrow.”_

“What? They don’t want me to come home?”

“ _Yeah… but you can sleep here with us if you want to.”_

“No… thank you for your great offer,” Jongdae smiles to send a message to his brain that everything is just fine. “I’ll be home in the morning, then.”

He hangs up and stares at the phone instead of breaking it.

“You’re too nice,” Minseok says, giving him the coffee. “Do you have a place to stay?”

“I’ll ask my coworkers,” he says softly. Jongdae wishes Minseok would offer a warm place in his warm bed, but he has to face reality. “Also, I can sleep with my family.”

“Okay,” Minseok nods. He walks away to attend another customer; Jongdae takes this as a sign he should go back to work. He opens his notebook and types: _exo April 2012._

Dozens of old news appears, but in a quick look, they all say the same thing: Yixing left to focus on his acting career, no official statements from the two members, no talking about future works. Jongdae almost scrolls down a timeline on a website named “baekxingnotexo.fans”. He doesn’t really get what’s being discussed, so he clicks on “about us” first.

 

**ABOUT BAEKXING, NOT EXO**

_We are a fan site ran by fans to show support Zhang Yixing and Byun Baekhyun and also keep other fans up to date on everything they do. We’ve been online since 2011 and we have no ties with SM Entertainment or representatives. This is a free space for fans._

 

Jongdae nods. That’s good; as a person who works on media, he knows very well this is probably the best place to find _real_ content.

 

**THE BAEKXING BIG EVENTS TIMELINE [UPDATED: OCTOBER/18]**

_*the extended and detailed version can be found in the articles section in .pdf, .doc and .epub_

 

 **JAN/06** [Zhang Yixing’s audition]

 **DEC/08** [Byun Baekhyun’s audition]

 **DEC/09** [SM’s first official announcement]

 **JAN/10** [first EXO’s teaser]

 **MAR/10** [EXO’s debut]

 **JUN/10** [EXO’s first album]

 **JUL/10** [EXO’s first concert]

 **DEC/10** [EXO’s first win]

 **MAR/11** [EXO’s comeback]

 **MAY/11** [EXO’s first DVD/ Zhang Yixing’s first movie]

 **JUN/11** [EXO’s first international tour]

 **OCT/11** [Zhang Yixing’s first solo mini-album]

 **JAN/12** [Byun Baekhyun’s first musical]

 **MAR/12** [EXO’s disband]

 **MAY/12** [Zhang Yixing’s first Chinese single]

 **OCT/12** [Byun Baekhyun’s first solo album]

 **DEC/12** [Byun Baekhyun’s dating announcement]

 **MAR/13** [Zhang Yixing’s first win as a solo artist]

 **MAY/13** [Byun Baekhyun’s birthday party]

 **JUN/13** [Zhang Yixing first drama]

 **OCT/13** [Byun Baekhyun’s first win as a solo artist]

 **DEC/13** [Zhang Yixing’s first Chinese tour]

 **JUN/14** [Byun Baekhyun’s marriage]

 **OCT/14** [Zhang Yixing’s second album]

 **DEC/14** [Byun Baekhyun’s second album]

 **OCT/15** [Byun Baekhyun’s first drama]

 **DEC/15** [Zhang Yixing’s dating announcement]

 **FEB/16** [Byun Baekhyun’s third album]

 **MAY/16** [Byun Baekhyun’s first international tour]

 **JUN/16** [Zhang Yixing’s first international award]

 **DEC/16** [Zhang Yixing’s third album]

 **SEP/17** [Byun Baekhyun’s first documentary]

 **JAN/18** [Zhang Yixing’s marriage]

 **JUL/18** [Byun Baekhyun’s divorce]

 **OCT/18** [Zhang Yixing’s fourth album]

 

Jongdae drinks his coffee, a bit reflexive. It’s weird to read about other people’s lives that way. He went through such different things. He had a hard time in school, but he played a lot of video games, watched dramas and took long naps. His college years were more diverse, visiting different places, studying, working in part jobs – any part job. To think this random guy was just a few months older than him and probably had this completely different experience… it’s… too much for him to process.

 

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** I need a place to stay because of the leakage

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I’m going to Japan :(

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I’m already in Japan

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I’m in Japan

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** but you have my keys, bro

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** isn’t that weird???

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** you need to find the bed in that mess

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I would invite you to stay

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** but I have someone over

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** you can come tomorrow

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’ll cook for you

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Are you and Sojin dating again?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I was cheering for you two

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** she would 10/10 be my ideal type

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** if I wasn’t… you know

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** older, powerful and well-dressed women

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** every gay man’s type, that’s why we love divas

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** my mailbox can’t lie, it’s the truth

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** now the youtuber kid is hitting on me

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** who’s gonna tell him?

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’m not dating anyone

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** mind your own business

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I’m 46 days older than Kyungsoo

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** and?

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** nevermind

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** you can sleep in my house, dae

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** use my keys

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** thank u bro

 

Jongdae smiles at his phone. He could visit his parents, but this is admitting defeat. Also, Jongdae doesn’t like bothering them… or anyone, really. He just has to spend one night out… and buy more post-its. He keeps scrolling down on the article – maybe he should print the extended version, but this is so boring. He likes to do fieldwork, so he goes to the closest thing. The fan comments.

 

 **baektomyxing_13:** why did you put exo’s name on it?? Sm is going to sue the website for not saying what they want us to think.

 **xingmi:** I don’t even care about SM, but EXO was a disgrace to the boys, so I don’t think we should remember it as their history. He should focus on what they like to do, what they’re doing now. Yixing is super happy, he’s eating and resting and Baekhyun’s is the fifth most popular soloist in the country.

 **onceaalienalwaysaalien:** listen y’all solo jerk offs. Like it or not EXO was a part of their lives, so the site is correct, there’s no reason to erase their memories.

 **supernova-grrrl:** blah blah blah people may have loved EXO but baek and xing hated it and they always made sure they weren’t in control of anything and they were exhausted. Yixing is slaying, boosting his career away from SM and I can’t wait for Baek to leave this hell.

 **onceaalienalwaysaalien: @supernova-grrrl** you say that but everyone saw Baekhyun was a mess after Yixing left. He was fucking depressed for months!!! EXO may be fucked up shit, but it was baek and xing’s ENTIRE life. They worked hard to simply give up on that.

 **supernova-grrrl: @onceaalienalwaysaalien** we don’t know the reason he was sad. What we do know is that they were unsatisfied and tired. I’m not a “solo jerk off”, I stan THEIR HAPPINESS.

 **baekxingwasmarried:** god every goddamn fight is the same, why the aliens, the jedis, and the xingmis can’t just appreciate their entire work????????????

 **alien-a-a:** EXO was the best!!!!!

 **lightmyfire: @onceaalienalwaysaalien** don’t worry abt them. They just want to pit them against each other as always…

 **kingxing:** I bet those aliens are shippers and shit. Let them grow and be happy with their choices. They say they loved them but they made baek and xing life hell when they started dating. **@baekyeon**

 **baekyeon:** they updated the divorce…

 **kingxing: @mods** if this is a site to stan their solo careers, why do you guys let aliens come here and mess up? Like, it’s 2018!!!! EXO ended in 2012, please, there’s no reason to keep crying over that. I guess it’s important to put this on the timeline, of course, but take those kids out of here!

 **bbh92_zyx91:** I don’t trust baek or xing solo stans that hate EXO. Sorry, but this is their life and career, no matter how fucked up it was. Y’all praise people like Taeyeon, but she was always a soloist. Same with IU. Baekhyun was a part of a duo, that’s how he made his career, he wouldn’t be anything without EXO, let alone be a royalty 5.

 **no_exo_no_life:** we can appreciate bbh and zyx, we can appreciate exo, god why is this so hard, move on guys.

 **sheepsheep: @no_exo_no_life @bbh92_zyx91** no??? EXO was a mess. They had to do one album every year, touring and going on tv shows nonstop, side projects, ads, commercial, photoshoots… they were exhausted, and they couldn’t say a word about it (source). Don’t do this type of dismissing things here, this is a critical site 4 fans. Like, if you don’t like it, gtfo.

 

“So, now you’re straight up lying to me,” Minseok says, laughing. Jongdae is a bit scared at first, but who could resist that smile. “You can’t say you’re not a fan if you even read those fan forums.”

“I don’t know much about them," Jongdae says. “This is research,” he explains. “I honestly didn’t think it would be such a bottomless pit.”

“EXO was a complex story,” Minseok says. “My sister was a big fan. Today she likes both artists, but never as much as she loved EXO. It was quite weird, you know, the way it ended.”

“Ah…” Jongdae claps, excited. “Keep talking!”

“I only know what she told me, or better, cried about,” he shrugs. “They were a duo and they had a big start, got very popular, then very tired. They started to show a bit of fatigue and to complain about a few things, but in that fucked up industry, this is kind of normal. Then, just after their comeback, Yixing left the country. End of story.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I remember it was very confusing for her because Yixing became a big artist soon, but Baekhyun was in the dark. He was her favorite… Then, he became a solo artist, but he also started dating and you can imagine how crazy it was.”

“Yes,” Jongdae nods. He loves to listen to Minseok.

“I don’t know much, really. All I know is what my sister says. She believes nothing really changed for Baekhyun, but he’s happy. Sometimes she listens to him. It sounds… childish and obnoxious in my ears.”

Jongdae laughs. In his regular days, he would defend Baekhyun – but now he knows he is a brat.

“Don’t say that,” Jongdae says anyway because he’s a dumb man who never learns. “He has a good voice, apparently.”

“True,” Minseok is defeated. “Do you like his voice?”

“Never paid much attention,” Jongdae confesses. “But I do like a guy who can sing.”

“Really?” Minseok grins. “Good to know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, all good things have an end. Jongdae couldn’t chat with Minseok since the barista had to leave, so he decided to take a nap – the only problem was because he definitely forgot how Chanyeol’s home was a reminiscence of a hurricane.

Jongdae stares at the place: pictures, clothes, random things, souvenirs, boxes, music instruments, papers… the room couldn’t scream more “single untamed man” if the walls could talk. Jongdae decides to sleep in the couch, not only because he would never sleep in Chanyeol’s bed (he doesn’t want to imagine the wild things that happened there), but also because there’s a bike on the mattress. Jongdae doesn’t ask questions anymore.

He sleeps just fine because Chanyeol is not cheap and he has a really good furniture. He goes to the office, because he can’t go home, and Minseok is probably back to the night shift. Works just fine during the day, but he’s interrupted by a message.

 

 **unknown number:** Hello, Jongdae! It’s Luhan here. Sehun says I can’t keep calling you every day. So, the repairmen will stay all night long working today so you can have your home for yourself tomorrow. I’m really sorry. Please, feel free to stay the night with us.

 

Jongdae closes his eyes. He counts until ten, rubs his face and lets out a long sigh.

 

 **Jongdae:** please tell me you are NOT going to fuck today

 **Jongdae:** my landlord is keeping me homeless to fix the leakage

 **Jongdae:** I’m starting to think he wants to do a ménage w/ me and his man

 **Jongdae:** which at this point I’m considering accepting

 **Kyungsoo:** I’m home alone

 **Kyungsoo:** my brother and my sister-in-law spent the night

 **Kyungsoo:** yes, you can come, they already left

 **Jongdae:** thank you

 **Kyungsoo:** also, you can’t notice people hitting on you

 **Kyungsoo:** you couldn’t identify it to save your life

 **Kyungsoo:** I bet they’re just nice

 

Jongdae frowns. _No one_ hits on him; he’s used to that, actually. He was always that _great_ guy that everybody befriends, not ugly, not particularly attractive, not… well, he’s not the type of the guy who stops the traffic with a catwalk, and, to be honest, he’s not even different enough to be someone’s weird kink. He’s just okay. He doesn’t think it’s a bad thing. He always dated okay people like him, lived an okay life… he has nothing to complain. Sometimes, it’s depressing to be around someone like Yoona, the modern version of Aphrodite, or Taemin, a guy who doesn’t have to blink to have people at his feet. Even someone as messy and extra as Chanyeol gets more sexual attention than Jongdae – and, not to be problematic or anything, but at least Jongdae takes a shower every day. Not everybody can have baby skin naturally.

The last person Jongdae kissed _in the last three years_ was a crazy Idol in an escape attempt. And before, it was a drunk girl in a party. Jongdae himself was pretty drunk, so he doesn’t even know her name.

But he would date if he didn’t have so many problems to solve, like, being temporarily homeless or being asked to do an impossible interview, which, by the way, would be his first important article. So, yeah. Not his priority right now.

The universe is sensing it because the next email in his box is just what he needs.

 

 

* * *

 

 **From:** jungkook_internship@rollingstonekr.com

 **To:** jongdae.music@rollingstonekr.com

 

Hey,

I’m really sorry but boss asked us to talk about Taeyeon falling from R5 after the divorce. Is it okay if we talk about sexism in music? I tried to talk to Taemin but he’s not here. I’m afraid it gets too complex, because we were asked to use the R5 site as a source and there’s just the basic information there, but you know it’s kind of obvious… like:

 

 

**SOLOIST**

**1.** IU

#1 since 2008, singer IU never left the top of R5.

 **2.** JONGHYUN

#2 since 2013, singer Jonghyun entered R5 as soloist in 2012 and never left R5 since his solo debut.

 **3.** KAI

Rising rapper Kai entered R5 in 2014 after his debut. His first position was #5, but in 2016 he reached #4 and in 2017, he occupied the #3.

 **4.** CL

#4 since 2017, Rapper CL entered R5 in 2009, leaving in 2012 and returning in #5 in 2016.

 **5.** BAEKHYUN

#5 since 2018, Baekhyun’s first appearance in R5 since his debut.

**Content from royaltyfive.com, your best national popularity measurement since 2004.**

 

What do you think????

Waiting!!!

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“I thought I had sent you home,” Junmyeon stops in the front of his notebook. He’s holding a mug of tea, written _I’m not bossy, I’m the boss._ “What are doing here? Do the interns ask—”

“No, it was on me,” Jongdae smiles, looking up from his chair. “I’m having few troubles at home. I thought I would be more productive here.”

“Oh, I see,” Junmyeon nods. His mouth looks normal, slightly plump – the procedure worked just fine, after all. “I was almost thinking you were missing me.”

Jongdae chuckles. Junmyeon makes horrible jokes, but he’s the boss.

“Of course,” Jongdae nods, discreetly covering his phone screen. His chats don’t include hierarchical superiors, _Virgo rule number eight_ , but Junmyeon doesn’t need to know that. From what Taemin says, he’s a Gemini and every Gemini is a mess.

“If you need anything, just talk to me,” he says gently, lifting his mug.

“Of course. But I think I just need to focus,” Jongdae says carefully, and, to break the odd small talk, he compliments: “Nice sweater, by the way.”

Junmyeon looks down. It’s a pink sweater and looks expensive, but soft.

“Ah, thank you,” he rubs the back of his head and almost runs into a passerby intern. Jongdae chuckles while he apologizes to the poor girl. Jongdae smiles to his notebook, now a bit happier. He won’t eat half-cooked ramen or sleep on the couch today. Kyungsoo has a clean place, even if he has dogs; he cooks, he doesn’t make any noises and he may be the only person who can help Jongdae with the article.

 

 

 

Jongdae looks at the amazing dish in front of him with teary eyes. He can’t talk with his mouth full, so he makes noises.

“Is it too spicy? Too hot?” Kyungsoo frowns.

“This is so good,” Jongdae finally says after munching. “It’s perfect. I love you. Marry me.”

Kyungsoo snorts, dipping the small nugget in the sauce.

“How come you can make the interns spend four days looking for a nonexistent album to review,” he says calmly, “but you can’t sue your landlord for your mental stress?”

“Easy,” Jongdae says, lifting his glass of juice. “First one is for fun, the second one is no fun.”

“Really,” Kyungsoo says dryly, but he’s not scary while he’s in his big pajamas. He looks like a kid. “I think you’re just looking for a reason to spend the night in that café with the hot barista.”

“Maybe,” Jongdae shrugs. “He’s really hot. And I have no reason to stay at home.”

“Didn’t you just tell me how you were attacked at an ice cream store?” Kyungsoo points. “Home is safe.”

“You like being at home way too much,” Jongdae says. “At least now I have something to talk about in my ghost interview.”

“Just talk to Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo sighs and he puts more sauce on Jongdae’s plate. “He likes you. He’ll give you something better to do.”

“I want to do an actual article, Kyungsoo. I love making reviews, you know. Music is… I mean, I have a nice job. But what’s the point of working in the central section of a magazine if I simply can’t write a full article?”

“You have no patience,” Kyungsoo states.

“It’s easy for you to say,” Jongdae.

“Yeah, it is,” Kyungsoo says in his too-serious-tone. “And that’s funny, because I don’t talk much, and you talk a lot. But I always say the necessary and you talk, talk, talk… but when you have to say what’s important, you just smile and shut your mouth.”

Jongdae freezes, the nugget half in his mouth, the other half sticking out; he blinks.

“Damn,” he moves his tongue and eats the nugget. “I came here to have a pleasant night, man. That was uncalled for.”

Jongdae is not really offended. He never is, but he’s used to his coworker’s habit of being… well, of being too crude. After all, he sleeps in a good bed and has a good night. Kyungsoo doesn’t bother him about literally anything, and, since they’re basically the same size, Jongdae can borrow clothes and shoes with no worries. Kyungsoo makes waffles and smoothies in the morning; they listen to a quiet jazz and Jongdae almost sleeps because of the cool atmosphere caused by the blasting AC.

“I’ll go home today,” Jongdae says resolutely. “I will try to write something, and I’ll send it to the boss.”

“Good. Send nudes too. It’ll help.”

Jongdae laughs sincerely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae misses his scooter. He stops to buy gas before he goes back home because the old one in the tank won’t be good to ride. Because of that, he has to take a shortcut to go home, walking with his bag and the gallon in the other hand. People look different at him, but he barely notices. He’s in Kyungsoo’s clothes, black from head to toe, sunglasses on; that’s a bit different from his pastel minimalist closet inspired by Instagram user @virgo_fashion_paradise and few sales on the mall next to his building. He stops to talk with the doorman, chats a little before coming in. In the elevator, the lady who lives in the apartment right above his own starts small talk.

“How’s the band?” She shouts – in her mind, she must be talking in an okay tone. She looks at least seventy years old.

“What band?” he shouts back. It feels like a prank; the two alone in the elevator, shouting at each other.

“Don’t you work for the Rolling Stones?” She asks, and she seems genuinely confused.

“Yes, the magazine, not the band,” he chuckles. “It’s fine! How about your brother? Wasn’t he sick?”

“Yeah, he was,” she nods. “He finally died, that asshole.”

Jongdae half-smiles, half frowns. He… needs to call his brother. For some reason, the elevator picks a guy in the penthouse and then comes down. The man leaves on the same floor as the old lady. Jongdae turns to the mirror behind him. His hair is a mess and he looks tired and greasy; no wonder she thought he was in a band. He feels like Chanyeol would compliment his look.

Jongdae lets his smiles die on his face. He doesn’t stare at his own reflection at lot. It says nothing new; he feels like he’s always that goofy, sympathetic best friend at some kids cartoons, even when there’s only him in the mirror.

The elevator opens and Jongdae takes a last look at himself in the reflection.

There’s another man there. He’s right behind Jongdae but in the front of his apartment door.

Jongdae gets closer to the mirror.

“Horror movie antics,” he smiles, amused. The man – in his green shirt with a marijuana leave on it – takes off his sunglasses.

“I know I haven’t put makeup on today,” he says, shaking his hair. “But that’s plain offensive.”

Jongdae turns abruptly, staring at the real man standing between the elevator and his apartment.

“Byun Baekhyun?!”

“Kim Jongdae,” Baekhyun says dramatically, imitating him. “What kind of drama is this?”

“What…” the elevator makes a noise. The door starts to close, but Baekhyun extends his hands and stops it. When the door is completely open again, Baekhyun turns his open palm up, as an invitation.

“Come on,” he says, impatiently. “I don’t have much time. My manager has the same size of my closet’s door, but I can only break one of them, and it’s not Kris.”

“What?” Jongdae laughs, confused. “What… Why are you doing here? How did you find— How the fuck do you know where I live?”

“I’ll answer every question, I promise,” Baekhyun smiles. His hand is still in the same place; he’s waiting. “Follow me.”

Jongdae’s mind works fast; sometimes too fast. He regains some sense.

“Why the fuck would I do that, you crazy maniac?” He asks, not offended. Pure sincerity in his voice.

“Because… I am the light at the end of your tunnel,” Baekhyun says with feeling. Then he stops, retreats his hand and scratches his neck. “Ok… that… sounded weird. Let’s try again.”

The elevator door closes.

 


	2. but you know I’m a pretender

 

 

 

 

“Listen,” Jongdae looks over his shoulders- Baekhyun is examining the wall and the ruined _post-it_ s on the floor. “I’m not lying. He’s in my house right now.”

“ _Okay. So, what’s the problem?”_

“He’s here. He knows my name. He’s trying to save my drowned post-it right now,” Jongdae says and takes a moment to admire Baekhyun’s naivety. “What do I do, Yoona? You’re the wisest!”

“ _Well, if you were Taemin, I would say sex tape, but… since it’s you… do the interview you’re supposed to do?”_ She laughs. There’s an interference in the phone. “ _… he’s a chaotic person, but as long he doesn’t try to threaten you or anything, just… find some evidence this is really happening and you’ll have a nice material to write. This man isn’t talking to anyone, remember?”_

Jongdae sighs. He’s not having a weird dream. Baekhyun really waited for him in the front of his door, asked for tea and he’s really sitting on Jongdae’s dirty floor. Jongdae covers his mouth while he’s talking on the phone.

“Shouldn’t I call the police?”

“ _Celebrity people don’t stalk journalists, Jongdae. We’re not living in an alternative universe. Just talk to him. I think the only danger you’re being exposed to is be the protagonist of passive aggressive drawings.”_

Baekhyun is now smelling the post-its. He looks like a five-year-old.

“Okay, then. Thank you for listening to me,” he says.

“ _Don’t forget to record the conversation,”_ she warns before hanging up.

 

Baekhyun is now trying to lick the ruined post-its.

 

“Hey! Don’t lick that,” Jongdae says, loud and clear. Baekhyun stops midway his action and stares. “What are you— God, what’s your problem?”

“What happened here? Classic leakage?” he asks, throwing the paper away. “Everything smells like strawberries.”

“The lady upstairs owns a Lush store,” Jongdae explains. “Now please, can you sit at the table like normal people do? The water is boiling, I’ll make your tea.”

Jongdae would normally keep an eye on him, but now, with his house being that dirty mess, he simply doesn’t care. He opens the recording app and places the phone on the table. Baekhyun jumps up and happily comes over to sit at the table. He’s looking around like he’s an E.T. who happens to just have landed at planet earth.

“Isn’t it funny that I always come by to see Sehun and I never ran into you?” He chuckles. “I mean, how long have you lived here?”

Jongdae pours the hot water into the mugs.

“You said you would answer my questions and you’re just asking more and more.”

“Yeah… my bad,” Baekhyun scratches his neck. “I kind of forgot what you asked.”

Jongdae puts the little tea bags in the mugs and stare at him.

“Maybe… what are you doing here? It’s a nice start.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah! Of course,” he nods, rubbing his pants. He takes money (mostly coins) out of his pocket and places them solemnly on the table. “I have to pay back for the ice-cream I stole.”

Jongdae looks at the money, speechless.

“Ah… also I have to apologize,” Baekhyun lets out a long breath. “Please do not sue me for sexual harassment. I was really scared and it was… a bad day, you know? I just left the court and, in those days, … I don’t know… I just need lots of sugar? It’s hard to explain and my manager doesn’t care about that, you know? Rookies are out there every day and I don’t have the sexy body type and my fucking nemesis _you-know-who_ gets hotter and hotter every day and my voice just doesn’t—”

“Okay, okay,” Jongdae lifts the mugs and then puts the on the table too. “I get it. I won’t sue you. I wasn’t going to , anyway.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun sighs.

“Who’s your nemesis?” Jongdae asks curiously, sitting down.

“You don’t know?” Baekhyun grabs his mug, confused. “Sehun told me you were trying to talk to me… to do an interview?”

“Oh, so that’s how you know me?” Jongdae grins. “Yes, it’s true.”

“Actually, I bribed some friend to find out your address after I read your Rolling Stone mail,” Baekhyun sips his tea innocently. “It was a big coincidence that Sehun knew you. He’s one of the few friends I can talk to… now.”

“Nice,” Jongdae drinks from his mug too. “So, did you actually come all the way just to give me some pennies?”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes and stares at Jongdae for a while before talking.

“What are your favorite albums?”

“ _Sargent Peppers_ from Beatles… _Desire_ , Bob Dylan. Mariah Carey’s entire discography.”

“And your favorite month?”

“September.”

“What’s your favorite dessert?”

“Dark chocolate.”

“And your first crush?”

“Utada Hikaru.”

Baekhyun nods, smiling. Jongdae smiles back, because he doesn’t care anymore.

“So… Did I pass in this quiz?” Jongdae chuckles. “Or do you want to ask what my zodiac sign is?”

“You follow all the Virgo accounts in your Instagram,” Baekhyun snorts. “I don’t sleep on that.”

“So, you’re stalking me, huh?” Jongdae says calmly, but he does get startled when Baekhyun leans in – for a moment he thinks he will be attacked again, but he realizes that the singers it’s just doing it for dramatic effect.

“I’m a Taurus,” he says slowly, grabbing Jongdae’s t-shit. “And I take food very seriously. Why does your kitchen look like a haunted house?”

“I don’t like to cook,” Jongdae says. “I don’t use the kitchen.”

“And how do you think you will survive, man? I don’t like to cook either, but I do, sometimes,” Baekhyun shrugs, leaning back and retreating his hand. “Think about the future.”

“I’d like to think I’ll marry someone who will enjoy cooking.”

“Ah, are you straight? Because that’s kind of sexist,” he makes a judging face. “Also, marriage? Strongly disagree. Wouldn’t recommend. Zero stars.”

Jongdae laughs sincerely. This guy is funny, he thinks, analyzing the man next to him. He doesn’t look like an Idol, but like any other co-worker from Rolling Stone. Edgy look, hydrated face, expensive clothing. Lowkey attractive.

“So, why are you asking me those things?”

“Well, if you’re going to interview me, then I think it’s just fair that I do the same with you,” Baekhyun winks.

“So, you’re going to do the interview? I thought you couldn’t,” Jongdae frowns, and then drink the rest of his tea. Bakhyun seems to think about what he’s going to say.

“I shouldn’t, I know,” he mumbles, looking down. “But I’m kind of tired of being silent… If you guarantee me you’re not going to publish anything I wouldn’t approve, then yes.”

“I can’t put anything you haven’t allowed us to talk about, you’ll have to authorize the publishing,” Jongdae assures him. “This is my first signed article. I don’t want to screw it up.”

“Yeah, Sehun told me you’re an okay guy. And I appreciate that you don’t want to sue me,” he seems embarrassed now. “I’m really sorry if I lost my shit… I’m working hard on my self-control. Taeyeon always says that I—”

Baekhyun stops mid-sentence and blinks. He coughs and continues.

“… well, so I can’t be quiet all the time, because my nemesis is slaying in his comeback and I have to fight him back. This musical is not going to save my album sells and my repackage will have a boring-ass Christmas sad song… I can smell the sadness, man. It’s so fucking sad!”

“Is your nemesis… Yixing?” Jongdae asks, confused.

“Yixing? No way, man, of course not. Yixing is…” Baekhyun says softly and then picks his phone to show a video to Jongdae. While the video loads, he pushes his chair so they can be closer. Jongdae watches the whole thing in silence, almost laughing. The guy has no sense of personal space. “Look! It’s the snake.”

An aesthetic pleasing music video. Jongdae recognizes the voice.

“Oh, it’s Kai, isn’t it?” Jongdae smiles, happy to recognize at least something. Baekhyun looks at him offended and skips the video, starting the next one.

“Do you like him?”

“Not really. I just happen to know him,” Jongdae nods. “Taemin, a coworker of mine, is a big fan.”

“Look at this,” he points to the video. “Tell me how I can beat this.”

The video is no more about a song; it looks like it’s a part of a drama. Kai walks in a room, takes off his clothes and goes to the bathroom. The next scene is just him taking a shower. The camera goes over his body, just covering the crotch area, focusing in his defined abs. Jongdae steals Baekhyun’s tea because his mouth got dry.

“It’s… impressive. He’s…”

“Unbelievably hot, I know,” Baekhyun shakes his head, angry. “That’s the reason I can’t eat sugar. I hate him so much.”

The video ends and Jongdae feels like he needs a cold shower too.

“That feels like porn.”

“I know,” Baekhyun keeps his phone in the pocket. “And he’s even hotter in person. Like, tall, broad shoulders, nice, tan skin… boy, I just want to punch his face.”

Jongdae throws an arm around Baekhyun.

“People have different types of beauty. You’re not bad yourself,” he says softly, rubbing his shoulder gently. Baekhyun blinks, surprised. Jongdae smiles encouragingly at him. Instead of answering, Baekhyun just leans in and Jongdae can only stop the eminent kissing by slapping the singer in the face.

Baekhyun whines loudly, “Why did you do that?”

“What?” Jongdae stares at him in disbelief. “You were going to kiss me!”

“I thought we were having a moment here,” he pouts, rubbing his cheek.

Jongdae stands up and picks the empty mugs, leaving them in the sink. “I’m not hitting on you.”

“I get it,” Baekhyun nods. “Sorry.”

“Try not to attack me during the interview.”

“About the interview,” Baekhyun says, suddenly serious. “My manager is okay with it, but he asked me to not tell anyone. I… may have told him it was… for a fansite.”

“What?” Jongdae laughs. “You know this type of interview doesn’t happen in just one session, right? Rolling Stone likes to accompany the artist for a while.”

“Yeah, I know, I read the magazine. I really enjoyed that article about Jonghyun,” he says happily. “I’m a big fan and it was… so good. It felt like the writer was like… married to him. Amazing. I want something like that.”

“I think it was Taemin who did it,” Jongdae tries to remember, but he’s almost sure he wasn’t working there when this Issue was published. “I don’t know if I can do the same, but I’ll try.”

“I have a plan,” he almost whispers. “But I can’t talk about it now. First, I want to know if you’re free this week.”

“I guess,” Jongdae nods. “What time?”

“Anytime,” Baekhyun smiles.

“Okay. Where?”

“You’ll see.”

“Are you going to give me any direction?”

“No. I’m a very mysterious man.”

Jongdae snorts, “I barely know you, but I already know this isn’t true.”

“Oh, you’re a really cool guy, aren’t you?” Baekhyun smiles. “I wish I had more time to hang out, but Kris will kick my ass if I don’t show up in the singer’s club in the right time. Hey, I’ll leave, but talk to me if you need help to fix the wall. Like, you can sit in that hole if you wanted to.”

“Well, at least it’s not leaking anymore,” Jongdae sighs. “You should talk to your friend, Sehun, so they can fix this.”

“I will,” Baekhyun nods. “Well, it was nice to meet you… properly. I have your number, so, I’ll call you. Bye!”

Jongdae watches the Idol walking away, holding his Adidas bag and humming a song. When he hears the door closing, he puts his hands in his hips and looks around.

“Now, what the hell I should do?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae cleans the house, because he’s that Virgo.

He makes a list of the things he needs to buy, watches two more episodes from Gray’s Anatomy, takes a hot shower and then sits on the couch. It’s too early to visit _Chaleur_ , so he plays EXO’s first album and starts checking his social media.

 

**Yoona @ musicsection RS sent a picture**

**Yoona @ musicsection RS:** we’re in japaaaannnn

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Namie Amuro’s concert will be in few hours

**Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS: _Editor is seen buying horrible clothes at fancy store_**

**Taemin @ musicsection RS:** It’s true, but they shouldn’t say it

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** Is Boss freaking out?

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** don’t know, don’t care

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’m just annoyed they keep talking about us

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** We’re not celebrities

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** they talk about any shit

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I mean, gossip magazines

 

That gives Jongdae an Idea. He keeps listening to EXO’s album (good songs, a bit creative, nice vocals, not bad), but he picks his laptop to visit the enemy.

 

**GOSH!magazine**

**The best news, the biggest views.**

**[OCTOBER NEWS]**

  * **_Editor is seen buying horrible clothes at fancy store_**
  * **_Radio Host epic fail on air_**
  * **_RED VELVET’s revealing clothes on MNET_**
  * **_MIYAVI is spotted eating at traditional restaurant_**
  * **_What’s new this week?_**
  * **_What makes KAI the hottest man on earth?_**
  * **_Netizens reveals their favorite celebrities in pink_**
  * **_CL’s new album is about dissing every weird ex_**
  * **_What is Park Shin Hye’s new drama trying to say?_**
  * **_The president doesn’t like to wear casual clothes?_**
  * **_Why is BaekYeon still fighting on court after their divorce?_**
  * **_Producer apologizes after inappropriate behavior_**



Jongdae spends solid two hours reading horrible articles. Most of them are obviously fake gossips, based on pictures out of context and speculation. But he opens the “thebaekxingbigeventstimeline.pdf” and he can point easily the parallels between fan theories and gossip. Of course, he thinks some of them are true. Yixing looked clearly exhausted when he left the country, he won the lawsuit against SME, and Baekhyun did spent months in the dark while posting cryptic posts on Instagram. Jongdae doesn’t think that EXO’s end was a mystery. Many groups end that way. The articles about the divorce are just cringe worthy; they keep trying to find evidences of cheating and “laziness”. Jongdae only pays attention to the pictures while they’re dating or just doing random things. He takes notes so he can use as a resource later.

He dresses himself, call his mom and then get ready to work in his favorite place.

The subway ride is quiet and he looks at the posters in the way. _Chaleur_ has more customers than the usual when Jongdae comes in. Minseok is working with another guy, a young kid – the name in the tag is Daniel. Jongdae sits by the window and picks his notebook, waiting for Minseok to acknowledge him. To not seem so desperate for attention, he opens his email and answers the confused interns.

 

 

\---

 **From:** jongdae.music@rollingstonekr.com

 **To:** jungkook_internship@rollingstonekr.com

 

Hello!

You can write about sexism in the news review, but not too deeply. Actually, the music section will be a little busy because of the Namie Amuro covering, so you can talk to the girls in the building. Is Nayeon working with you? She’s a bit older than other interns and she’s good, you can co-write with her. When you’re done, send the piece to me.

Good work!

 

\--

 

“Hello,” Minseok’s melodious voice draws his attention. “Are you too busy or you would like to order now?”

Jongdae looks at him and tries to contain the little hearts he knows it must be escaping from his eyes. Minseok is using a long pink sweater and he bleached his hair to a golden blonde. He’s also using a brown eyeliner that highlights his beautiful eyes. Jongdae wasn’t prepared for this.

“… I’m thirsty,” he spits out without thinking. “I… I mean, I’ll want something substantial to… drink… and… eat. Not just coffee.”

“Ah, fine. Did you fix your problem with the leaking?” Minseok takes his tiny notebook. “I would recommend the crepes; and the chef’s special on the menu today. It’s the sun-dried tomatoes, ricotta and basil one.”

“Oh, anything you recommend is fine,” Jongdae smiles, a bit embarrassed. “I… My house is clean, but there’s a hole in the wall.”

“Well, more space for you,” Minseok chuckles. “I’ll add the mint pineapple juice too. Right?”

“Of course,” Jongdae gulps. “You… you look nice today. Your hair…”

“Ah, yes,” Minseok brushes off his hair playfully. “My sister wants me to take her to the IU concert and she wanted me to look cool.”

“You look cool,” Jongdae smiles sincerely.

“Thank you. I won’t interrupt your work,” Minseok winks. “No EXO mug today? I thought you were becoming a fan.”

“Maybe,” Jongdae mumbles. Minseok leaves and Jongdae is almost drooling, only by watching his tight pants. His phone rings.

 

 **Chanyeol:** stop staring at his ass

 **Jongdae:** HOW THE HELL you know what I’m doing

 **Chanyeol:** I have a sixth sense for naughty thoughts

 **Chanyeol:** no, seriously

**Chanyeol: _Was singer IU and a famous journalist having an affair?_**

**Chanyeol:** just warning u, cuz boss will freak out when he sees this

 **Jongdae:** well, shit

 

Jongdae decides to open the article in the laptop and he regrets it. He’s back at GOSH! And now they’re publishing a picture of Yoona walking in a building. Apparently, it’s IU’s apartment, but Jongdae is too disgusted to confirm by reading. He knows it’s true, but he doesn’t know why people would publish this. After all, they’re journalists too. They should get the hint and leave them alone. Yoona herself rarely spoke about her relationship, and she’s an easygoing Gemini who doesn’t care about “taboos”.

“Amazing,” Minseok grins. “Daniel said you were looking at gossip and I couldn’t believe. I’m definitely curious about what you’re writing about.”

“Ah, nothing interesting,” Jongdae says quickly, closing the tab. “I mean, you wouldn’t care.”

“I’m interested in music and singers,” he says quietly. “But eat your crepe! Don’t wait until it gets cold.”

“Okay,” Jongdae mumbles. He barely saw the other guy coming. He puts on his earphones and listen to EXO while researching. He’s so deep into his work that he misses Minseok’s departure. He comes home a bit late, but he’s too sleepy. He picks the remaining postits in his bag and writes it down.

 

**_ Buy new post-its, finish the album listening and go back to Tinder _ **

**__ **

 

 

 

 

 

.

The first thing he notices is the smell. It’s not good, even if it’s very subtle.

He also feels very warm. Maybe it was the effect of the coffee he brought home and drank before sleeping. He was so goddamn tired that even caffeine couldn’t stop him from passing out on the bed. He looks at the window; too much clarity. He turns to look at the hole in the wall.

“Damn,” he mumbles. “Is that thing getting bigger or I’m still sleepy?”

“Both, I guess,” says a serious voice, slow and clear.

“Ah, maybe you’re right,” Jongdae nods and rests his head in the pillow. He has to— “ _What the fuck?_ ”

He turns back and he sees tall-one-maybe-boy-toy-maybe-sugar-daddy laying in the bed. He’s resting his head in his hand, elbow pushing them up, like he’s about to say “paint me like one of your French girls”. Jongdae gapes at him.

“Apparently, they fixed the plumbing system, but the reason of the leaking was rats and they’re still alive,” he says calmly. He’s using a red velvet robe and it looks fluffy, even being kind of open. If Jongdae wasn’t so shocked, he would believe he was actually having a 19+ dream.

“What…?” He tries to form a phrase, but the guy shushes him, raising his index finger in front of his mouth.

“Baekhyun is tired and he needs to rest,” he whispers. “So, don’t make much noise.”

Jongdae looks down and realizes there’s a person between them. Baekhyun is right there, hugging Jongdae with one arm, fully dressed and with make up on.

“What the hell,” Jongdae whispers.

“I killed a few rats,” the tall one says peacefully. “You must have a really deep sleep, because Baekhyun screamed the whole time. He also climbed the window and almost fell on the street.”

Jongdae sits up quickly, looking around. No dead rats in sight. He sighs in relief.

“I cleaned the place,” Tall one informs him. “But I think you don’t know how to buy the right products. They don’t smell good.”

Baekhyun groans something in his sleep and moves in bed, hugging Jongdae’s leg. His mouth is hanging open and there’s a pool of saliva next to his face.

“Do you want to eat cake at my house? Luhan bought a really tasty one,” Tall one smiles. “Also, you need to leave soon. We called some guys to fumigate your house.”

“What?” Jongdae screams this time.

“Baekhyun said you would be staying with him for the next few days,” he explains, sitting up . “And Luhan is embarrassed about this situation, so now we want to treat you right. Baekhyun told me you have no food in home.”

“Huh?” Jongdae scratches his neck.

“Let’s go upstairs,” the tall guy/ mr. red velvet robe nods. Jongdae blinks. This is one of the moments where he searches through his mind for a relevant emotion to display but he’s just… he’s just okay with it.

It’s frustrating, sometimes.

He meticulously remove himself from the bed, putting a pillow in Baekhyun’s embrace instead of his leg. Tall one patiently waits for him and opens the door and calls the elevator.

“I hope you don’t mind I used your spare key,” he says, serious.

“I don’t,” Jongdae sighs. He’s in his shorts, old shirt and socks, but whatever. “What’s your name, again?”

“Sehun. Oh Sehun.”

“Ah, thank you. I forget names,” Jongdae bows as they enter the elevator. “Will that crazy guy be okay by himself?”

“Baekhyun?” Sehun raises one eyebrow. “He’s never okay by himself.”

It’s too early for Jongdae gets what that means, and he gets even more distracted when they reach the penthouse. There’s a loud, chill music; a delicious smell accompanies it and Jongdae is salivating. The house is messy as the last time he went there, clothes and shoes were everywhere. Sehun guides him to the kitchen, and it’s so shiny that Jongdae has to cover his eyes for a while.

“Here,” Sehun says, holding a fancy, red cake. “A gift.”

 _‘I’m sorry for giving you a big, wet deep hole’_ is written on it with Chantilly.

“Thanks,” Jongdae tries to smile, taking the cake carefully in his arms. “That’s… very kind of you.”

“No problem,” Sehun smiles, turning his head slightly to the side like a pug.

 

 

Jongdae eats some more expensive snacks before coming back home. He puts the cake in the table and searches for his phone to take a picture, and that’s how he finds out about his boss email.

 

\--

 **From:** junmyeon.music@rollingstonekr.com

 **To:** jongdae.music@rollingstonekr.com; taemin.music@rollingstonekr.com; yoona.music@rollingstonekr.com; chanyeol.music@rollingstonekr.com; kyungsoo.music@rollingstonekr.com

 

I’M SENDING THE DATE AND PLACE OF OUR NEXT MEETING. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE IN JAPAN, AUSTRALIA, UNITED STATES, MOMOLAND OR HELL.

THIS IS URGENT.

JUNMYEON

Ps: Jongdae, can you please answer my messages.

Ps2: I’m sending a mail because SOMEONE blocked me on every other social media.

\--

 

Jongdae snorts, but he’s a bit worried. The last time he used caps lock was when the team (Jongdae’s idea) bought a glitter bomb from “ _Ship Your Enemies Glitter_ ” and sent to him. Junmyeon spent three days cleaning his room. And, at least this time, Jongdae doesn’t think anyone pranked him, because they’re all too busy for that.

He decides to take a bath before dealing with the real world. He walks straight to the bathroom, throws his clothes everywhere and gets inside of the shower flow. He’s takes a long and relaxing shower, and he’s looking for his towel when someone gives it to him.

“Ah, thank you,” Jongdae takes it, nodding. 

“No problem,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll use the shower after you.”

Jongdae turns and stares at the singer waiting outside of the shower box.

Baekhyun stares back, smiling.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeee,” Jongdae screeches, holding the towel against his body protectively. “What are…? How did you get in there?”

“The door was open,” Baekhyun points, frowning. “I didn’t even need to use my hashi technique. Sehun could never stop me from taking a shower together.”

“Well, I’m naked,” Jongdae says, slightly shocked.

“I can see that,” Baekhyun snorts. “Why would you take a shower with clothes on, man? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re naked too,” Jongdae tries.

“I wanna take a bath. I came straight from the set,” Baekhyun explains calmly.

You know what?

Jongdae gives up. Everybody seems to find this normal, so he won’t spend his precious energy fighting with them. He sighs, drying himself off.

“Okay. I won’t ask any more questions,” he mumbles. “I’ll leave. Do you need a towel or a soap?”

“No need,” Baekhyun moves his hands in a dismissive gesture. “I took them from your bedroom.”

“I’m glad to know,” Jongdae says tiredly. “I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen so we can talk with clothes.”

“That wouldn’t be a problem for me. I’m naked all the time,” he points. “And you’re just easy to talk without clothes too. I mean, I got used to Sehun, and I gotta tell you, it’s hard to pay attention toanything while he’s naked. He has a gigantic—”

“I’m leaving,” Jongdae announces.

 

He’s on his third slice of cake when Baekhyun comes in the kitchen, using Jongdae’s old UCLA shirt and his Simpson’s underwear. Jongdae is just waiting for someone to appear and tell him that the last days were just a big prank.

“What’s up?” Baekhyun says, shaking his wet hair. “You shouldn’t eat so many sugar by the morning. Listen to me, I’m like… graduated on that.”

“What are you doing here?” Jongdae smiles and he’s dripping in sarcasm.

“Ah, I came to talk to you, and you won’ believe it was such a coincidence because Sehuna was just coming to visit you about the hole,” he says, and he stick his finger in the Chantilly and puts in his mouth. “Ah, this is so addictive. My therapist would kill me if he could see me now.”

“And what do you want to talk?”

“About the interview? I mean, I already told my manager you will be with me for the next days. He stole few things like shirts, notebooks and bags so you can look like a hardcore fan,” Baekhyun says, making wide gestures to explain. “Anything else I can lend you, look, we’re the same size!”

Jongdae stays in silence for a while, just munching his cake in peace.

“I have a meeting in few days and I can’t miss it,” he finally says. “And, besides that, I like to work at night in a 24h café next to the subway stop.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun shrugs. “I won’t lock you, you know? You can leave. Also, I’ll have to film the musical for the next days, and it takes me good ten hours in the set. It’s exhausting.”

“Fine. That’s all?” Jongdae asks calmly.

“I have few hours before leaving,” Baekhyun says. “I ordered food. Let’s Netflix and chill? Also, why do you have the box of Grey’s Anatomy?”

Jongdae gives up on asking questions or just… having a concept of privacy and personal space.

“I’m a big fan,” Jongdae says, munching.

“Ow. It’s a good series, but boy, so sad, why do you do this to yourself?” He laughs. “Don’t you have nothing more like… happy to watch? Do you enjoy crying?”

“I don’t cry much while watching. I mean, only when someone dies and stuff.”

“But everything is so fucking sad, like… I know, a hospital is a sad place, but see, even the people fight a lot and the love drama is so…”

“Ah, I’m barely moved by that,” Jongdae shrugs. “Love in general isn’t my thing. I’m not much into new music because of that. Everyone just talks about love and in such a superficial way.”

Baekhyun is gaping at him. His face is already wet because of his hair and Jongdae can’t contain himself and picks a kitchen towel to dry him. Baekhyun, of course, allows him to do anything.

“Thanks, man,” he smiles. “But I’m still shocked you don’t believe in the power of love.”

Jongdae snorts, “What do you mean? I’m not questioning the existence of love. I just think it’s an emotion like any other. And I don’t like… when people exaggerates it.”

“There’s no exaggeration in anything about love! Love is the force that moves the universe,” he stands up, raising a finger. “A deep energy that moves— I should write that down.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae nods. “And stop screaming. Ah… I think it’s the first time I say this to someone and not the opposite.”

“Who hurt you?” Baekhyun sits again and almost hits the face against Jongdae’s cake to take a bite. When he lifts his head again, he has Chantilly all over his face. Jongdae carefully removes it with his finger and then eats it. Baekhyun seems satisfied with it.

“No one.”

“Have you never had a broken heart?” Baekhyun blinks. “Have you never been rejected or… like… been in love?”

“I’ve been in love. I dated a girl for four years in college. Went to China to be with her and let me tell you, being in a college when you don’t speak the language is a hell,” Jongdae says and he cuts a slice for Baekhyun so he doesn’t have to smash his face in the cake again.

“And you broke up with her?”

“No. We’ve decided to break up. I had to finish my course and I decided to do it in California,” he points to Baekhyun’s t-shirt. “I speak English better.”

“Aaaaah, you must be like… super smart,” Baekhyun looks down, admiring the name on the shirt. “Don’t make fun of me because I dropped high school to be an Idol.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jongdae says, serious. “You’re an awarded and popular singer. Education is only a tool. Not everybody has to do the same things.”

Baekhyun stares at him in silence. The intercom rings and Baekhyun stands to answer it.

“It’s the food,” he announces. “Let’s watch _Stranger Things_! I don’t want to watch it alone and I only have my manager to watch it with me. And he’s like… tough? And he makes fun of my scared faces. I mean, he’s a Scorpio guy and I’m a Taurus, we’re complementary opposites but it’s only good to work together. He’s too insensitive sometimes.”

At this point, what else Jongdae can say besides…

“Okay.”

.

 

 

 **Junmyeon_BOSS** : Jongdae, how’s the work going

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** why kyungsoo never answers me??

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** I want him to help Jungkook

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** he blocked me on twitter too???

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** and facebook??????????????

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** he blocked me from searching HIS NAME on google????

 **Junmyeon_BOSS:** how in the EARTH has he done THAT

 

“I like having privacy. He’s my boss, I don’t want him nosing my life,” Kyungsoo explains, drinking his hot chocolate. Jongdae told him the coffee in _Chaleur_ was good, but Kyungsoo said he only drank coffee at work to keep himself awake. Minseok isn’t there yet, and the Daniel guy is the one taking their orders. “I called Google and demanded it, by the way.”

“Answer his messages. Jungkook wants to write and I can’t help him.”

“Why? Because you’re cuddling with Baekhyun instead of interviewing him?”

“First, he invaded my bed,” Jongdae says, raising his fingers to give emphasis. “Second, Junmyeon told me not to help interns. I want to, but he wants me to focus on the article. I had to listen to every EXO album today and the third album is… really… difficult. Now I know why the fans ignore it. Third, we were just Netflixing and Chilling.”

Kyungsoo stares at him, his mug touching his lips. In his nice black coat and Rammstein black-and-red tshirt, he looks like a painting.

“Did you guys fuck?”

“What?” Jongdae gapes.

“ _Netflix and chill_ is a slang for sex, Jongdae. Nayeon explained to me using memes,” Kyungsoo says slowly, and then sips a little. “So, did you guys have sex?”

“No,” Jongdae raises his voice and then look around to see if someone heard. “I had no idea. And I don’t think Baekhyun knew either. We just watched _Stranger Things_. It’s a really nice series, by the way!”

“If you like 80’s music, no doubt,” Kyungsoo agrees, nodding. “By the way, you don’t think you should establish some… boundaries… just to tell this freak not to abuse your chillness?”

“I don’t mind,” Jongdae shrugs.

“Predictable,” Kyungsoo says dryly, shaking his head. He looks for his paper over the table. “So, let’s work?”

“Okay,” Jongdae opens his moleskine, his best pen and gets ready. “So, what do you think is a _must_?”

“Always describe his body language. His looks, the place he chose to be interviewed in, the entire atmosphere. He’s an artist – image speaks, but people will be reading, so you’ll have to describe. The Rolling Stone style always offers an intimate view, to bring the reader into the fiction,” Kyungsoo says between small pauses, making small movements. He has a soothing, melodic voic, and Jongdae has no idea why he decided to talk about music instead of being a musician. He’s sure Kyungsoo has a nice singing voice. “We also want to accompany them to few places, to see like he sees. You’re allowed to put your impressions, but since Baekhyun is a popular artist, I would choose not to say something that could be read as an offense. If I were you, of course.”

“Not my style,” Jongdae snorts, writing.

“I know. But don’t be too nice either. You have to see through his public image and that’s really hard with Idols, especially older Idols like him. They’re trained since they’re kids… they are trained how to talk, how to walk, how to sing, even in a different voice than their natural ones… They don’t even have the same face, you know, plastic surgery, make-up, different hair colors. After ten years of trying to be someone else, it’s easy to forget who you are.”

Jongdae stops writing. He feels something in his chest.

“Okay, I’ll—” he starts to say, but the café door opens and Minseok comes in. He’s looking different. He’s using old and baggy Hoseo University sweater, no make-up on, holding books.

“Stop staring,” Kyungsoo uses his scary voice. It’s super effective. Jongdae looks down at the table and picks his phone to pretend he’s busy.

“Is he looking at me…?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo sighs. “It’s still the same guy from six months ago, why you don’t just ask him out?”

Jongdae drinks his coffee to not have to say he’s a C-O-W-A-R-D. His phone has 10 messages from their chat group.

“The guys are saying something,” he says, getting close to Kyungsoo so they can read together. “Look.”

 

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS sent a picture**

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** look at us enjoying the Namie shoooowww

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** please don’t put this on instagram

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I’ll put that one we took at the hotel

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** can I?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** yeah we aren’t very sweaty in that one

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** We’re back home tomorrow!

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** Kyungsoo can pick us from the airport???

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** Jongdae has to pick me up in his scooter

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** we’re missing you, guys :/

 

“Ah, they look like they’re having fun,” Jongdae says, smiling. “Let’s take a picture to show we’re together too.”

“I don’t like—”

“One, two, three, now!” Jongdae knows how to switch to camera fast and takes the picture even faster. “See? It doesn’t hurt.”

“That was unnecessary,” Kyungsoo says and drinks from his mug again, picking his own phone.

 

**Jongdae @ musicsection RS sent a picture**

**Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** aren’t we cute? :)

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU AREEEEEE

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** Kyungsoo is using the shirt I gave him

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** (⺣˘⌣˘ ⺣)♡*

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** you two are so fancy

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** we’re like teenage groupies here (yoona said it)

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’ll pick you guys up

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’ll call you, someone pick the phone

 

“While I’m calling them, why you don’t go talk to that barista? He’s looking at us,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “Ask him out.”

“I can’t,” Jongdae comes closer to whisper. “He’s super busy! He’s getting his phD, he’s working here and he takes care of his sister because his family doesn’t live here. Also, he’s older than me. If he wanted to date me, he would ask, right?”

“Did I stutter?” Kyungsoo says, serious, before standing up. Jongdae sighs.

When Kyungsoo leaves so he can talk in the phone, Jongdae counts to ten and walks to the counter. Minseok is cleaning the mess the other guy did. He often does that while whispering angry things or sighing deeply and Jongdae knows he’s dying inside.

“Hello,” Jongdae tries, waving. “How are you today?”

“Ah,” Minseok’s expressions softens and he gives Jongdae a small smile. “I’m a bit tired. I had a presentation today and my sister is having PMS. You know, girl stuff.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jongdae smiles. “But you… look nice.”

“Thank you,” Minseok puts a strand of hair behind his ear. “And, how are you?”

“Better now,” Jongdae says softly. “I’m working too.”

“Ah,” Minseok looks at the table full of papers and nods. “I thought you were on a date.”

“What?” Jongdae chuckles. “No. Kyungsoo is my coworker.”

“You two are looking cute,” Minseok grins. “I don’t work dressed like that.”

Jongdae is dressing nicely because he was going to see Minseok. He put on perfume and his clean green shirt. Kyungsoo is dressed like any other day, but he’s naturally elegant.

“We’re cute, that’s the thing,” Jongdae grins too.

“I mean… if you’re both single then people will naturally think it’s a date,” Minseok says casually, rising his eyebrows.

“Only god knows if Kyungsoo is single. That one takes privacy way too seriously,” Jongdae laughs. “And I… may be single, but I’m looking forward to not be anymore.”

BECAUSE I WANT TO DATE YOU, his brain screams, but Jongdae’s infamous big mouth is shut today.

“Oh, really?” Minseok says, amused, cleaning a mug. “Good luck, then.”

Jongdae wants to die. Did Minseok have to cut him like that? He was ready to say something smoothly, like…

“Thank you,” Jongdae sighs. “I will let you work in peace.”

He goes back to the table and sits in the chair, letting his body rest like he’s dying. Kyungsoo is already there, eating a cupcake.

“Did he say no?”

“Something like that,” Jongdae shrugs. “I guess today isn’t my lucky day. But I won’t let that make me sad.”

“You forgot your phone,” Kyungsoo says, munching. “He was ringing.”

Jongdae checks it. New emails and a message from an unknown number.

 

 **Unknown number:** hey, it’s B! B like SUPERB. Ya know, Baekhyun. So, I asked Sehun to give me your number. People are killing rats in your house so you can come to mine!!! Tomorrow we will have things to do… I already put the Netflix ONNNN be careful so the Demogorgon doesn’t get you!!!!

 **Jongdae:** I’m in the coffee shop! Working. When I’m supposed to go there?

 **Unknown number:** Anytime! Just call me, I’ll ask Kris to pick you up

 **Unknown number:** Bring FOOOOOOOOD (sugar food)

 **Unknown number:** They’re obligating me to eat salad :(((((

 **Unknown number:** Are you alone????

 **Jongdae:** w/ a friend

 **Unknown number:** A DATE???????????

 **Jongdae:** no, kyungsoo my coworker. You know him

 **Unknown number:** Mr. I would tap THAT ASS

 **Unknown number:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Unknown number:** tell him I’m single now

 **Unknown number:** I can solve his little problem

 

“Baekhyun is offering you sex,” Jongdae says. “What do I answer him?”

“Tell him I would rather sit on fire while I listen to a loop of Rebecca Black’s Friday and someone stabs me repeatedly in the eyes with a pen,” Kyungsoo says dryly, cleaning his mouth. “Now you two text each other?”

“I guess,” Jongdae mumbles, proposedly omitting he’s going to sleep in Baekhyun’s house.

 

 **Jongdae:** He’s taken.

.

 

Turns out that Baekhyun is actually right to be afraid of this Kris guy because he’s scary as fuck, also hot, but maybe Jongdae is only noticing that because Minseok is being cold to him. When he and Kyungsoo left, Minseok barely answered Jongdae’s enthusiastic ‘goodbye’. He lied to Kyungsoo and waited at Red Flavor’s entry. Until a giant took him, of course.

“So, is this his building?” Jongdae looks up, inspecting the fancy-looking lobby. “Nice.”

Kris nods, because he doesn’t like talking, from what Jongdae noticed. So, Jongdae follows him.

“How old are you? I mean, how long people have to live to get so tall?”

“Not much older than you,” Kris grunts.

“Amazing. You have nice hair.”

“Thank you.”

“I like the color! What’s the name of it? I’ll dye mine soon.”

“No idea.”

“Ah! That’s too bad. For how long you have been working with Baekhyun?”

“Seven years.”

“Eh! That’s a lot. Do you know any of his dirty secrets?”

After five minutes of monosyllabic answers, they reach Baekhyun’s floor and Kris almost knock  the door down. Baekhyun opens the door, rubbing his face, like he was still getting used to be functional.

“Sorry. I was playing overwatch,” he yawns. His shirt has a mochi drawing and he’s using watermelon-printed shorts and socks. “Ah, you took so long.”

“He really is your fan,” Kris sighs. “Can’t keep his mouth shut for a fucking second.”

Baekhyun stares at Jongdae. Jongdae blinks.

Oh.

“Aaaaweeee!” He screams, jumping on the singer. “It’s Baekhyun! In person! I love you so much.”

“Oh, I love you too,” Baekhyun says with a fake ass voice. “Give me your bag, because we’re going to have plenty of time.”

“You have to be on the set tomorrow early. Don’t forget,” Kris narrows his eyes.

“I know, I know,” Baekhyun nods, squeezing Jongdae in his arms. “I will sleep soon.”

“Okay,” Kris shrugs. “I will pick you.”

Jongdae sniffs, since he’s smashed against Baekhyun’s chest. He smells like soap. He only moves when he hears the door closing.

“Yah, we have to be quiet. Kris lives next door,” Baekhyun taps him. “I’m lucky that he’s kind of… distracted.”

Jongdae lets him go and fixes the strap of his bag in his shoulder.

“Your manager is your neighbor?” He frowns. “Isn’t that kind of… I don’t know. Don’t you need privacy?”

Baekhyun shrugs, turning back to guide him inside the room. From what Jongdae saw, he’s at the living room. There are so many things there that he can only point safely the couch, the window and the golden records on the wall.

“It was worse before. He lived with me,” Baekhyun says, turning on the lights – there are many. “When I got married, he moved out, of course. It was nice when I was alone, though. He’s a good friend, when he’s in a good mood.”

“I know, but even like that, isn’t like having your parents at home all the time?” Jongdae follows him, paying attention at the awards on the wall. They walk into a dark corridor.

“Well, sometimes it was like that. When we were in EXO… like, me and Yixing wanted some privacy to do… things and he was just… right there. He invaded my room to see if I was eating candy and I was… having sex.”

Jongdae laughs and Baekhyun seems to do the same, but Jongdae can’t see his face. Baekhyun grabbed his arm and walks to a big room with no door.

“Boy, that’s weird. So you can come to your room with people but not with candy …”

“I couldn’t come with people to my room. There’s a lot of crazy fans out there. Where’s the fucking lights—”

Jongdae hears a thump and Baekhyun makes a weird noise.

“But then you were fucking the staff?”

“No,” Baekhyun turn on the lights. “Me and Yixing.”

Jongdae blinks, his eyes suddenly assaulted by the clarity.

“What?!”

“You can’t put this in your interview.”

“I know,” Jongdae blinks many times. “Geez. God, you two were dating?”

The room around him is pompous. It’s covered by carpet, there’s a huge couch and many televisions. One of the walls it’s just a long balcony, and everything is colorful.

“No, man. We were working like crazy, you can’t date a human being like that,” Bakehyun laughs, but somehow it sounds sad. “It was just a fling of the past. He left, he got married, so did I. I wasn’t so successful at that, but…”

Jongdae can see different consoles on the ground, even a super Nintendo. There’s a fridge too.

“Do you like? It’s my personal paradise,” Baekhyun says proudly. “No sugar, but I have beer.”

“Nice,” Jongdae nods. “But I’m not in the mood for drinking.”

“Why not?” Baekhyun is amused and he jumps on the couch, sprawling his body all over the pillows.

“Had a bad day,” he shrugs.

“Why?”

“I had to work… listen to your EXO albums—”

“Hey!”

“… and my crush kind of rejected me.”

Baekhyun seems to be half infuriated – because of the EXO album, probably, - and half curious. “Do you have a crush?”

“I do.”

“Talk about your crush.”

“It’s a hot barista. He’s smart, kind, a bit snarky and he treats me nicely.”

Bakehyun gapes at him. He still has remaining make up in his face and his shorts are too big on him.

“What?” Jongdae snorts. “Did I sound like a creep?”

“No, man. I thought you were straight,” he snorts too. “You have straight guy vibes.”

“This is just a way to say I dress bad?”

“What? No. It’s just like… too much chill, less drama,” Baekhyun makes wide gestures. “But tell me more. You asked him out, eh?”

“I tried. He wasn’t in the mood for flirting, I guess,” Jongdae takes his bag off and places it carefully on the carpet. “But I’m not in a rush.”

“You look like you’re never in a rush,” Baekhyun says thoughtfully.

“Probably,” Jongdae nods. “Can I take a bath? Where am I going to sleep?”

“Wherever you want to,” he opens his arms as an invitation. “I’ll pick the blankets and we can have a fort.”

“You don’t have a room or a bed?” Jongdae frowns, but he’s not upset.

“Well, I moved in few months ago and I wasn’t in the mood for a bed,” Baekhyun shrugs, looking at the balcony. “So, this whole room is my bedroom.”

Well, the carpet must be softer that Jongdae’s bed, so the journalists just nods. Baekhyun was right when he said they were the same size – Kyungsoo’s clothes were a bit smaller than the baggy comfortable look Baekhyun seems to have, and Jongdae appreciates not having to show his nipples under the shirt.

Baekhyun’s shower is a mess, but impressive, big and clean. Jongdae is in awe with how expensive that must have been. He’s a new human being when he’s back at the pillow paradise and he sits on the carpet, next to the singer.

“Have you even played?” He points to his laptop. “Wanna play with me?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Jongdae laughs. “I’m not a big on games. I’m not very into competition.”

“Well, I am. In my last house I used to have few of my enemies’ pictures in the wall so I could play darts,” he says, moving to stay behind Jongdae. “I will play and you can watch. It’s fun, you will see.”

Baekhyn keeps playing, even with Jongdae’s body between him and the laptop. Jongdae moves to accommodate him better, and then Baekhyun supports his chin on Jongdae’s shoulder. The game is indeed nice, but Jongdae isn’t dying to play it.

“Okay, your turn,” he says. “Which one you want to play with?”

“The pillow,” Jongdae complains, and he throws his head back, touching Baekhyun’s shoulder too.

“Ah, it’s early,” he pouts.

“No, it’s not. Let’s sleep,” Jongdae slaps Baekhyun’s leg. It’s pretty easy to set up a bed; the blankets are so fluffy that Jongdae ignores the couch and stays on the carpet. Baekhyun just sleeps next to him.

 

.

 

 **Chanyeol:** Kyungsoo picked us

 **Chanyeol:** have you seen boss email?

 **Chanyeol:** meeting tomorrow

 **Jongdae:** yeah I did, thank u

 **Chanyeol:** where are you?

 **Jongdae:** ……..working.

 

How the hell Jongdae would explain he’s at a set while makeup artists are making Baekhyun ready to film? Also, Jongdae is pretty sure the clothes he’s using now costs more than his salary. It was a whole ride to wake up in Baekhyun’s house. He opened his eyes and Baekhyun was screaming while his manager was trying to drag him out of the room.

 _Look at your friend,_ Kris said pointing to Jongdae. _He’s seeing how misbehaving you’re acting! He’s thinking you’re not a responsible adult. Is that what you want?_

Baekhyun shook his head negatively and started to cooperate with his manager.

They took an hour to arrive and every single minute Kris was telling Baekhyun about things they were supposed to do or what he needed to say. Since they arrived on the set, all Baekhyun did was to stay still and let people do things to him, as dressing, put make up on him or just small orders.

“Boring,” Jongdae whispers and he writes it down in his moleskine, just in case. It’s a bit scary, because Baekhyun seems to be intensely focused; his voice has changed, his face expression and he’s quiet. A woman in the set offers Jongdae coffee and cookies and he accepts, bowing.

It tastes like heaven. He puts the cup on the ground and keeps writing the things he sees. Baekhyun is dressed like in a blue hanbok and they gave him a long hair in a ponytail. When he stands, he looks like someone else.

“How I’m going to pee?” He whispers to Kris, who’s quietly sitting next to him.

“Someone holds the costume up so you can do it,” Kris says. Baekhyun keeps staring at him. “Not me.”

“Ah, come on,” Baekhyun pouts.

“Take your friend,” Kris points to Jongdae. Baekhyun’s face is saying sorry.

“No problem, let’s go,” Jongdae puts his things on the chair and discreetly picks the coffee and the remaining cookies. He opens the bathroom door quietly and helps Baekhyun in.

“Here,” he shows the small cup and the cookies. “You haven’t eaten anything today.”

Baekhyun looks at his hand.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to this,” he smiles sadly.

“No, not at all. At least one cookie and a sip. You won’t get fat because of this,” Jongdae says and then helps him to eat without dusting or staining his clothes. Baekhyun munches fast and then says something like ‘thank you’ but his mouth is still full.

“Hey, don’t look, ok?” Baekhyun warns as Jongdae tries to lift his clothes.

“I have already seen you naked.”

“Yeah, but now I’m peeing. It’s not nice.”

“Ah, okay,” Jongdae laughs. “It really makes sense.”

They return with Baekhyun’s clothes in perfect state. Jongdae watches the first hours of filming, but it’s… exhausting to even look at. The same scene has to be recorded many times, over and over again, and he excuses himself to have lunch, because Baekhyun’s manager told him that Baekhyun would only eat his chicken salad and a protein shake.

Jongdae wanders around listening to Yixing in his earphones. He comes back to the set and sleeps in his chair. Baekhyun drags him to a photoshoot, a recording and the gym. In the same fucking day.

“I’m not going to work out,” Jongdae warns him.

“You don’t have to,” Baekhyun snorts. “My train today is just for forty minutes. Tomorrow, I have vocal train and beauty stuff so I can train more.”

“Ah, okay. But I’ll have a meeting.”

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to go with me,” he says, putting on his running shoes. “I know I have a boring schedule.”

Jongdae stares at him for a moment.

“Do you think it’s boring?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun is tying his shoelaces. “I only have fun at concerts and songwriting. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying it’s boring normally.”

“Okay then,” Jongdae shrugs. “I’ll take a look at the place. I’ll be back in forty minutes.”

“Take my things so they don’t bother you,” Baekhyun signalizes to his bag. Jongdae takes it and leaves. This gym doesn’t look like a gym – more like a mall. It has a place to buy clothes, shoes, accessories and many places to eat. Jongdae buys a coffee shake (no sugar, no dairy, no fat) because he’s missing Minseok. He writes while drinking it. When he’s back, Baekhyun has already showered.

He complains about Jongdae’s lateness, but he gets excited with a possible duet with a famous singer.

“I just recorded a part of the song today, ten fucking seconds, I want the whole thing, ya know,” he says, shaking his keys happily. When they leave the elevator, Kris and them part ways and Baekhyun blows his manager a kiss. Jongdae feels more comfortable instantly as they get home – the presence of an authority all day long was the reason he left his parent’s house.

“Hey,” Baekhyun waves the keys in his face before throwing them on the floor. “Are you awake?”

“Sorry. I’m kind of tired,” Jongdae says and then realizes he did nothing compared to Baekhyun. “I’m having a bad health time. I used to be more energetic before working sitting all day long.”

“No problem. Do you wanna play today?”

“Let’s watch _Stranger Things_ ,” Jongdae screams, because Baekhyun disappears in the corridor. Junmyeon messages to inform him of the meeting. It’s in a building next to Baekhyun’s, probably just ten minutes walking from where he is. But… why?

“Do you want popcorn?” Baekhyun screams.

“Yeah,” Jongdae screams back. “I’ll take a bath!”

“Fine!”

Jongdae doesn’t even think about Sehun, the rats and the hole in his wall, after taking a good bath in Baekhyun’s house. Also, knowing the Landlords’ couple, he has to be patient. He laughs when he’s back to the room, seeing how Baekhyun ordered the pillows to look like a tiny floor separating them from the television.

“Is this going to protect us from the Demogorgon?” Jongdae sits down and picks a bowl of popcorn. Baekhyun takes it from him.

“This one is mine,” he says, giving Jongdae another one. “See? Yours have butter. You can have Soda too.”

“Ah, okay,” Jongdae nods, leaning to sit next to him. Since Baekhyun has no idea of the concept of “personal space”, he hugs the journalist until they’re reclining on the same pillow. Baekhyun turns on the Netflix and Jongdae drinks the Soda.

“It’s like that… like always?”

“Huh?”

“You. You can never skip diet?”

“No,” the singer frowns at the remote control, waiting for the series to load. “I need ABS and I’m having trouble gaining weight. I used to consume a lot of fat, but bad fat, so now I take a lot of protein juice, rice, salad so I can gain only good fat. I eat a lot, but not sugar or… dairy.”

“And why do you need abs? You’re a singer.”

“I’m an Idol. If I don’t keep my shape, then they’ll find someone better to sell their products. Like, do you know that my nemesis stole my Banilla contract? I mean, I know I’m twenty-six, but he’s twenty-four. It’s clear they’re doing this because he’s hotter than me. He’s not a great singer or rapper. CL, IU or Jonghyun would eat him alive. He’s just more popular than me because he has the looks.”

“I thought he was an exceptional dancer?” Jongdae looks at Baekhyun. The intro of _Stranger Things_ starts playing. “Taemin always says that.”

“Yeah, he is. Once he made fun of my dancing too,” Baekhyun sighs. “I’m also not the best dancer.”

“You don’t have to compare yourself to him all the time,” Jongdae almost whines. “You’re great.”

Baekhyun looks at him.

“Thanks, man,” he mumbles, but he doesn’t sound happy.

“You’re not going to try to kiss me again?” Jongdae snorts, half-curious, half-afraid of the answer.

“Nah. Now I know you’re not straight, so it isn’t fun anymore.”

“What?” Jongdae laughs hard at that. “That’s supposed to make any sense?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyuns smiles. “I like annoying straight people.”

Jongdae laughs again and accommodates himself to watch the episode. It rained during the day and the weather is a bit cold, but not too much. There’s always something a bit nostalgic for him in this type of weather; but he’s in a completely new situation, so, it’s hard to explain the feeling in his chest.

Baekhyun is eating the popcorn loudly.

“Hey,” Jongdae says as the episode ends. “About that Yixing thing… I don’t know how to ask, but I’ve read this fansite, _baekxing, not exo_.”

“Ahh,” Baekhyun screeches. “I love them.”

“They have a thousand of theories about you two,” Jongdae says carefully. “I just want to know if you two are okay.”

Baekhyun lets out a long sigh and then pauses the automatic reproduction.

“We don’t talk much,” Baekhyun starts, looking at the balcony. “Once in a while, we check on each other. We’re fine, because we love each other, after all. But we’re not close friends anymore.”

“I wasn’t asking that,” Jongdae moves to face Baekhyun. They’re touching, but he can’t see right in that position. “I was asking if there is any grudge between you two.”

“No,” Baekhyun says passionately. “I would never feel anything bad for him. Yixing… he was… I loved him very much. We were both children, you know? What you were complaining about the day or the diet? Ah, it was a thousand times worse when we started. As a trainee, they treat you like you’re disposable. I was always crying. He supported me, he always had the kindest words. But when we debuted, it was even harder. I don’t even remember what happened. It felt like… I lost two years of my life. I used to barely sleep and eat, live one day after another without thinking. But it was never too bad for me as it was for him. My family lives here, this is my place and my language. He had to give up so many things…”

His voice is small as he continues.

“…he was sad. I tried to make him smile every day, but in the end… he was very sick. He needed to rest, to be with his family and friends, to do what he wanted. I… wasn’t sad because he left. I knew… I know it was for the best. But being alone was a hell. I was holding up because of him. I had no one else that understood or… well. I know he’s better know. I called him every time he released a song or an album… and even on the day of his marriage. I really hope he will be happy… happier and happier. I’m glad he found love.”

Jongdae is impressed.

“That’s very mature,” he says, snorting. “I blocked my ex in every social media and people think I’m the chilliest person in earth.”

Baekhyun laughs, a bit embarrassed.

“He wasn’t my ex,” he says, starting the episode. “It was just a thing.”

Jongdae looks at his face as he munches popcorn, light on his face, and for the first time, he knows, he just knows, that this is a big lie.

 

.

 

 

 

Jongdae stares at the building and gapes. He’s sure it’s the one because he can see his coworkers’ cars parked on the front. Baekhyun sticks his head off the window of the car.

“How much is Rolling Stone paying,” he asks, snorting. “Your boss has money.”

He insisted he could go by himself, but Baekhyun took him anyway. Jongdae turns to him.

“He comes from money and he’s a workaholic. No one is rich with journalism only,” he explains, and then faces the door so he can press the button. A voice asks,

“ _Good morning. Identify yourself_.”

“Hi, I’m Kim Jongdae. I’m here to talk to Kim Junmyeon? He lives in the tenth floor,” he says, but he’s not sure of where the voice is coming from.

“ _Wait a minute_ , _please_.”

“Okay,” Jongdae scratches his head, turning to Baekhyun again. “You can go! I’m fine.”

“I don’t know, man. Do you have your phone with you? Is it charged?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, then. Call me if something’s wrong,” Baekhyun nods, rolling the window up. Jongdae watches them leave.

“ _Apartment 1001. You can come in.”_

The door opens and Jongdae doesn’t ask questions. Everything is fancy, way fancier than Baekhyun’s place. He recognizes the door with a bunny-printed little carpet saying welcome. He doesn’t even have to knock in the door, because Junmyeon opens it.

“Hello,” he says, smiling. He’s a bit different, almost no makeup on and soft white clothes. “Come in, make yourself comfortable. Everyone is here already. Lady, gentlemen and Taemin.”

“Okay,” Jongdae walks in and sees his coworkers sitting around a round white table. They look as always, like this is a normal working day – except that they have no shoes on. Jongdae takes his shoes off too, because the carpet is so white that contrasts with the absolute mess that is the entire room.

“Tea? Coffee?” Junmyeon asks gently. “You look different today.”

“True,” Chanyeol says, frowning. Kyungsoo, next to him on the couch, narrows his eyes.

“Are those your clothes?” Taemin smiles. Everyone is looking at him.

“Coffee,” Jongdae sighs. “No. A friend lent me his clothes.”

“Ah, that’s kind of an old excuse,” Yoona says, pretending she’s pitying him. “It’s okay to have a sex life, you know, Jongdae.”

“Leave him alone,” Junmyeon says, serious. “It’s because of your sex life that we had to reunite here today.”

“Mine?” Yoona almost drops her mug on the floor. “Not Taemin’s?”

“It was a surprise for me too,” Junmyeon says, tired. “But every magazine is talking about you and your ex.”

She breaths out, looking exhausted.

“I’m very aware of that,” she shrugs. “But it’s just a phase. They exposed her other relationships before.”

Junmyeon disappears through a door and comes back with Jongdae’s coffee. They’re all in silence when he sits on the couch.

“Listen, GOSH! talk about my life all the time. I get it. They talk about IU, then they talk about you because of that. But now I’m feeling that after Chanyeol’s incident, they are actually going after us as a team.”

“What Chanyeol’s incident?” Jongdae looks around.

“You don’t know?” Kyungsoo asks, serious. “Where have you been in the last twelve hours?”

“Ah, don’t expose me again…” Chanyeol complains.

“Too late,” Taemin winks, passing his phone to Jongdae. “Press play!”

Jongdae obeys. A woman filming herself is walking inside a house. Jongdae knows this woman. Jongdae sure knows the house.

“ _…I swear for god I’m not joking,”_ CL screams to the screen. “ _Look at this, look at this fucking thing!”_

It’s Chanyeol’s sheets. Jongdae knows it because it’s Zootopia sheets and Chanyeol bought literally everything related to that damn movie since he watched it – and kept it, because Jongdae met him after that phase.

_“This dumbass thinks he’s going to break up with me? Fine, but I’ll show how much I’ve been through in this relationship! I had to have sex while this goddamn anime fox was staring at me!”_

“It’s not an anime,” Chanyeol mumbles, but he’s embarrassed.

 _“I fucking hated those sheets! And you know what? I hated his bears, too,”_ she screams. _“Like, do you know he has animal masks at home?”_

“It was for a Halloween party,” Chanyeol complains, angry. “Now everybody on the internet thinks I’m a furry.”

Jongdae pauses the video. He has seen enough.

“I guess people owe me money,” Kyungsoo says slowly. Yoona and Taemin pass him their wallets, right in front of a shocked Chanyeol. “I just made a bet. I thought you would fuck someone on those sheets.”

Chanyeol turns to him dramatically.

“What’s the problem with it?”

“Everything,” Kyungsoo says, returning the wallets after collecting his money. “Literally everything.”

“So… you wouldn’t… like… do it… I mean, if you were her?” Chanyeol asks carefully. “Just… so… I…”

“No,” Kyungsoo says resolutely.

“Guys, this is serious,” Junmyeon claps to get their attention. “This video is from last year. Why would it surface now? How did GOSH! had access to it?”

“I don’t know,” Chaneyol says sincerely. “I haven’t been in contact with her for a long time. I don’t know why someone would post it online. It seems like she’s talking to a friend.”

“I think this a campaign against us,” Junmyeon says. “They followed me while I was buying clothes, they’re talking about your relationships… I don’t know. I think we should be more careful.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo frowns. “This is our private life. That’s no one business.”

“Yes, Kyungsoo. But if we date famous people, then it can be public,” Junmyeon licks his lips, making soft gestures. “Also, I don’t think it’s a coincidence they’re trying to expose old relationships. To date singers while you’re a music journalist is no crime, but… they may accuse us of impartiality.”

“That’s ridiculous, because people of similar areas do tend to have close relationships,” Taemin says. “But I do understand what you’re saying.”

“They could say we’re talking positively about a musician because of the relationship, I get it,” Yoona says. “But in Chanyeol’s case, it’s not good.”

“That’s why I do think it’s personal. Until I solve this, I ask you to be discreet. As a whole team. Also, Yoona and Chanyeol, can you two avoid being seen for a while?” Junmyeon asks, and he sounds tired. “I know it must be hard to not be… out there doing things, but people will forget soon…”

“I hope so,” Chanyeol pouts. “I’m done with the memes that people are sending me…”

“You’ll survive that,” Junmyeon sighs. “No one in my office for the next weeks. No public appearance in events, no interviews, not a single thing will be published without being approved.”

They all nod.

“Now, tell me. How’s the work going?”

“I can send the article by the end of the week,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m almost done.”

“Since we already went to the concert, consider the worst part done,” Chanyeol nods.

“I’ll try my best to do my things at home, but it’ll be hard,” Yoona says. “I can work with Taemin and the interns too.”

“Nice,” Junmyeon says, visibly relieved. “I’m glad to know this isn’t going to make things worse. How about you, Jongdae?”

“Yeah, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says, almost smiling - which is always a bad sign in meetings. “Did you find a way to talk to Baekhyun?”

Everybody is staring. Jongdae focus his gaze on a painting on the wall and gulps.

“Yeah… I… got to talk to his manager. I’ll totally meet him. Don’t worry.”

“Ah, you’re so persuasive,” Junmyeon says, impressed, leaning on the couch. “But I had no doubt you would do it. You’re very competent…”

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol rolls their eyes in synch. Yoona coughs.

“So, we’re free to go?” Taemin stands up, like he already knew the question.

“Yes, but I want you all sending me your works by the end of this week,” he warns, gesturing to them. “Our deadline is in two weeks, and if we don’t send them with at least one day of antecedence, the revisers will keep sending us glares at the New Year’s party.”

“I heard Copy Edition has a punching bag with our faces in their room,” Chanyeol says. “Which is fun, cause in real life none of them would reach my face.”

“Leave them alone,” Junmyeon sighs. “You can leave. Please, don’t do anything stupid.”

“We won’t, boss,” Yoona blows him a little kiss. She’s putting on her high heels. “Let’s go to Red Flavor!”

“You can stay and finish your coffee, Jongdae,” the editor says gently. “I also have cookies.”

“Yeah, Jongdae,” Taemin says in his mocking, snarky voice. “You can even ask for a bit of… fresh milk.”

Jongdae is sure that people in the other side of the street can hear Chanyeol’s laugh. He’s even hearing Kyungsoo’s ‘ehehehhe’, which is also a bad sign.

“I would love to, boss,” Jongdae smiles. “But I have to buy an ice-cream in Red Flavor for a friend and I’ll take the ride. Thank you.”

They laugh intensely when Jongdae closes the door. Jongdae just sighs and smiles while they’re cracking up.

“I don’t know if it was a good idea,” Yoona says. They’re five in the elevator, but it’s so big that even Chanyeol can’t pretend he’s touching Kyungsoo casually. “Boss' a catch. Maybe you should give him a chance.”

“You’re exaggerating. He was just being nice,” Jongdae shakes his head.

“He wouldn’t accept the offer anyway. He’s seeing someone else now,” Kyungsoo raises his eyebrow. “Right, Jongdae?”

“Ah, I can’t believe you haven’t told me,” Chanyeol says offended. Taemin is just curiously watching the conversation.

“You haven’t told me you dated CL,” Jongdae points. “I just found out!”

“Ah, it was long ago and she is famous, it was a secret,” Chanyeol pouts like a child. “Also, it was just a thing. And if you’re seeing someone, it must be serious. You spent like, months just staring at your barista's ass and—wait, is it him?”

“No,” Jongdae says, defeated. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Or maybe he’s just lying because the person is famous too,” Kyungsoo says, staring deadly into Jongdae’s eyes. The remaining three look at Kyungsoo, then, at Jongdae.

The elevator door opens.

 

 

.

 

“Like, she has three facial expressions, I swear,” Yoona declares it, moving a big spoon around. The girl who works there, Yeri, liked her face and gave them big spoons to share the big icecreams. “But her show is magical. I cried so much.”

“It makes you want to be a performer too,” Taemin agrees, munching the gummy bears. “I think she’s tired, but she really loves what she does.”

“Stop sending texts and eat,” Chanyeol tells Jongdae, sidehugging him – they’re almost in the same chair, now. “Ah, you’re full of secrets. I don’t like that.”

“It’s just work,” he smiles, because he’s not lying. He sent Baekhyun _– or better, as saved on his phone, superB_ – pictures of the sweet things and now the singer is complaining and sending memes. “I guess it’s getting late. I’ll go home.”

“Do you mean your house or that café?” Chanyeol asks.

“No, I have to sleep. I have to do things tomorrow,” he smiles. “Thanks for the treat.”

“Ah, Jongdae, you never go out with us, and you’re leaving already?” Yoona complains too. “At least promise you’ll come next time.”

“I spent the whole day with you,” he laughs. It’s true. They even went to lunch in a nice place (too expensive for Jongdae’s taste, but once a month he thinks he can afford it).

“Do you want a ride?” Kyungsoo asks. “I need to sleep too.”

“You two are so boring,” Taemin shakes his head, but he’s not mad. Like Jongdae, he seems to be always in a state of tranquil, but it’s mostly his cover for being a freak. Jongdae has heard so much about him that he secretly admires his coworker for being a competent journalist while breaking every norm he can. “Last time we hung out, Chanyeol jumped in an ice pool and Yoona drank an entire bottle of wine in less of a minute.”

“My head still hurts,” Yoona sighs.

“Sorry,” Jongdae shrugs. He buys ice-cream before leaving and Kyungsoo asks nothing. When they’re leaving, Chanyeol reaches them at the entry of the store.

“Ah, are you guys really going home?” He asks, a bit sad. “You’re not hiding anything from me, are you?”

“No,” Jongdae says resolutely, avoiding Kyungsoo’s eyes. Someone in the other side of the street screams ‘Hey, furry!’ and Chanyeol shows them his middle finger.

“We’re going home,” Kyungsoo assures him. “Don’t fight people on the street.”

“They’re calling me a furry!” Chanyeol almost screams.

“Stay at home, then,” Kyungsoo sighs. “I’ll visit you in the next couple of days. We can watch movies and play music like you want to.”

Chanyeol beams, clapping. He’s like a puppy; and he forgets easily about secrets.

 

 

Not Kyungsoo.

“I’ll take you to Baekhyun’s house,” he says while driving. “I know you’re going there.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae says, because he didn’t know how to tell him that. “But you didn’t have to expose me like that.”

“I know we don’t know each other for a long time,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “I know Chanyeol and Taemin for a long time, Yoona and Junmyeon for almost three years… But despite meeting you recently, I do consider you as my friend.”

“So do I.”

“But even if we weren’t friends, I would recommend you to tell them about everything work-related. We’re a team. You don’t have to hide things.”

“I… know.”

They stop at a red sign. Kyungsoo stares at him.

“You don’t have close friends, right?”

“Huh?” Jongdae asked, confused.

“You don’t have best friends. The kind of friends you can tell everything.”

Jongdae blinks. He tries to answer, but it’s not as simple as it seems. The light turns green and Kyungsoo starts driving again.

“I guess not…” he mumbles.

“I’ve noticed that you’re not doing it because you don’t trust us, but because you don’t know how to do it,” Kyungsoo says softly, and he looks older, wiser, way too serious. “I like to be alone. I like it a lot, but I know I need good friends to survive. Not many. At least one.”

 

 

 

Jongdae thinks about that while he’s on his way to Baekhyun’s apartment. Bakehyun jumps on Jongdae when he sees the Red Flavor bag.  

“Damn, did Kris see you?” He asked, worried, looking to the corridor before closing the door. “I hope not.”

“He didn’t,” Jongdae says tapping his shoulder. “You can eat in peace.”

Baekhyun inspects the bag.

“Ah, it’s so small!”

“But you shouldn’t eat even a spoon.”

“I know, I know, I’m grateful,” he smiles, holding Jongdae’s arm gently. “Hey, I talked to Sehun today. He said they’re almost done.”

“Ah, fine.”

“He asked if they could call people to clean it after,” Baekhyun holds his hand and guides him inside. “I said yes. I also asked him to buy you new _post-its_. Just in case.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae laughs.

“I guess we can finish _Stranger Things_ today, just two more episodes,” the singer keeps talking. “Are you too tired?”

“Not really. Do you have time for the interview tomorrow?”

Baekhyun stares at him confused for a moment, like he has no idea of what Jongdae is talking about. Then, he widens his eyes and nods.

“Ah, of course,” he smiles. “I’ll have time in the afternoon. It’s training day.”

“Nice,” Jongdae smiles back. “Do you have a place or you would like to do it here?”

“It can be at the singer’s club? So many intimate interviews have happened there. I always dreamt of taking a picture there, but… ya know… singers don’t ask Idols to do that,” he shrugs, but now Jongdae already knows how to read his hurt under his face.

“I’ll have to call the photographer, then,” he says absently. They don’t like it when people request them just a day before, but this is the reason Music isn’t the most popular team in a _music_ magazine that is  Rolling Stone.

“But you’re a journalist. You don’t know how to take pictures?”

“I don’t have to. You’re not obligated to know that…” Jongdae licks his lips. Kyungsoo’s words hit him. “But… I did date a photographer for some years and she taught me a lot.”

Baekhyun smiles.

“Do you have the equipment? Because I have an expensive camera and shit,” he shrugs. “I never bought specific lens and everything. Is that needed?”

“No. But few lights and the right background… which we have to found there…” Jongdae bites his lips. No one actually knew he was interested in photography, which is just weird; he’s a journalist and he had so many classes about semiotics, imagery communication and how to produce content in different types of media.

“Don’t worry,” Baekhyun takes him by the hand again, walking into the corridor. “We’ll have time for that. I can find a way to escape in training days, because I’ll go to many places tomorrow and the driver is an old friend of mine.”

“How about your manager?”

“He flirts with the receptionist on singer’s club,” Baekhyun laughs hard and when they get into the room, he jumps on a mess of pillows on the carpet. “He always forgets I’m there.”

“Ah, do you mind if I take a quick bath?” Jongdae puts the bag in the floor.

“No, not at all. Ah, if you’re hungry, I got food in the fridge,” Baekhyun opens the ice-cream pot and plays with the little spoon. “I’ll wait so we can watch together.”

Jongdae has the best time of his day while taking a shower. He’s in love with Baekhyun’s bathroom. He forgets he needs clothes so he puts a towel around his waist and walks to the room.

“I need clothes,” he asks Baekhyun. “I should’ve stopped at home just to get few things.”

“Go get them in my closet. Or don’t. Stay naked. I don’t care,” he’s licking the pot clean. “How was your meeting today? Are you in trouble?”

“No, not really,” Jongdae screams, so Baekhyun can hear him. “It’s about Yoona. Or better, about Chanyeol.”

“Ah, did you have to pretend you were surprised he’s a furry?” Baekhyun screams back. Jongdae snorts.

“Don’t say that! He’s not like that! He has pure intentions toward cartoons in general!”

Jongdae puts on a big shirt that he thinks it’s from full pajamas and the only underwear with no drawing or print. Baekhyun taps the space next to him when he sees Jongdae.

“Are you two friends?”

“Yes. The whole team,” Jongdae says, shaking his wet hair. “How was your day? You seem to be very loud, you’re not tired after vocal train?”

“A bit, but I’m loud all the time,” Baekhyun takes Jongdae’s hand and rubs over his own face. “See? I did skin things today. Hair too."

“So soft,” Jongdae says impressed, rubbing his cheek. “Did it hurt?”

“Ah, it burns a little, but I’m used to it,” he says, but he looks a bit sleepy. “Can I play the episode?”

“Yeah, go on,” Jongdae accommodates himself over the pillows. “Have you even thought about buying a mattress? I mean, it would help.”

“Ah, no,” Baekhyun yawns, messing with the remote control. “It’s kind of depressing to sleep in a bed alone after you have shared it for a long time.”

Jongdae stares at him, but the episode starts and Baekhyun is too distracted to notice it. The series end keeps them awake, but they’re really sleepy. Jongdae gets up to put his phone in the charger and when he comes back, Baekhyun is snoring loudly.

Jongdae picks the blankets, covers them both and sleeps too.

 

 

Following Baekhyun around can be tiring, but watching him train dance steps for six hours is just… a torture. During his training, Jongdae finds time to answer every email, read fifty pages of a book, write a little in his moleskine, leave for a snack, watch funny videos, call his family and just sit there and watch him. Baekhyun takes only few breaks, ten minutes maximum.

“God, I’m done,” he throws his head at Jongdae’s chest, half sitting on his lap. “And tomorrow will be the same…”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jongdae says empathetically, but trying to move Baekhyun’s wet hair away from his shirt. “Are you okay? How you can find energy after eating just porridge, juice and protein bars?”

“I ask myself that every day,” he says moving to stare at Jongdae. “But we can have a decent meal today. I’ll take you to my favorite restaurant. It’s super private, so I can eat in peace.”

“Don’t you love your fans?” Jongdae mocks him, bopping his nose.

“I do. I also love to have a full meal without being interrupted,” he smiles and catches Jongdae’s finger. “I need to take a bath.”

“I can smell that.”

“Maybe it’s because I just farted.”

“Get out,” Jongdae pushes him away, laughing. “You’re disgusting.”

“Stay there,” Baekhyun screams, running out of the practice room. Jongdae check his phone.

 

 

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** The interns have warned me that CL dropped to #5

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** There are hundreds of articles talking about the video

**Yoona @ musicsection RS: _Rapper CL falls in R5 after polemic video dissing EX_**

**Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** Reporting from Chanyeol’s house

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’ve burned the sheets and the mask

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** **╥** **﹏** **╥**

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** he’s being mean to me!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** you’re going to thank him someday

 

Jongdae is confused, so he laughs. He clicks on the article to distract himself while Baekhyun is taking a shower.

 

**[breaking news] _Rapper CL falls in R5 after polemic video dissing EX_**

**BY GOSH! TEAM**

It seems that 2018 is a busy year for musicians! We’ve been just informed that the R5 have been through another change! Rapper CL, 27, became a topic yesterday when the internet watched the video of her, dissing her ex-boyfriend (Park Chanyeol, 25, a journalist from Rolling Stone, known for covering rock bands and concerts) for being a furry. Netizens criticized the rapper for exposing her private life – and we all know netizens hate when they have to acknowledge famous people as… people. Since the video went viral, her brand name has dropped many positions on the female celebrity list, placing her as #5 position in R5 as well. Now, singer Baekhyun holds the #4, climbing two positions within a month. I guess Rolling Stone is just having another one of their scandals. Who remembers that time when Sunmi, fashion editor, was caught leaving a female stripper’s night club?

 

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** did they have to do THAT

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I’m never leaving home again

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I’m also holding Kyungsoo as hostage

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** let them talk

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** I’m sure the worst is over

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** :(

 

Baekhyun gets closer and Jongdae knows it just by smelling the intense soap smell. He looks up.

“Do you know you’re now the number four on Royalty Five?”

Baekhyun shrugs.

“It was a matter of time,” he says casually. “I just wished I got there by my merit and not just because people are the worst.”

Jongdae nods sadly. He has no idea why he expects Baekhyun to be happy about it. The singer helps him to get on his feet, then, picks Jongdae’s bag.

“Let’s go,” he says. “If you want us to buy the lights, we shouldn’t waste time.”

“Okay.”

The way to the restaurant is a short way and the driver seems to be a really nice old man.

“She’s my friend, you know,” Baekhyun says quietly, leaning on Jongdae’s shoulder. “I’m sad that she’s being through this. Honestly, Jonghyun is also my friend, so I never saw them as my competition. And… IU… well, she’s like god, here. I know she won’t lose popularity soon. I don’t even consider her.”

“Don’t you want to be the number one?”

“I do. But I need to work harder.”

“Harder than you already work?” Jongdae snorts, but he’s worried. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I used to work twice as hard six years ago. But I’m getting older…”

Jongdae looks down at him.

“You’re only twenty-six.”

“We’re here,” Baekhyun announces as the car stops. “This is the hard part. Coming in and going out.”

Jongdae stares at him.

“So, what should we do?”

“Run,” Baekhyun says and opens the car door, jumping out of the car. Jongdae follows him. They don’t stop at the entry. Jongdae chases Baekhyun up the stairs, and when they reach the top, they’re half laughing, half respiring deeply.

“Was it necessary?” Jongdae asks, smiling, holding his belly.

“Not the stairs,” Baekhyun winks. “I was testing you.”

They sit down to eat – it’s a really private place. The food isn’t very expensive and tastes good, and Jongdae feels better only by seeing Baekhyun having a full meal – even if he eats… impolitely.

Baekhyun spurts loudly. Jongdae just stares at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Jongdae smiles, shaking his head. “Do you think that we have time to pass by my house?”

“For what?”

“Pick my things?”

“Ah, don’t worry. Whatever you need I must have it,” he says and he takes money from his pocket and puts in the table. “Do you have a pen?”

Jongdae always has a pen. Baekhyun takes it and leaves a note: ‘ _thanks for the meal, keep the change :)’_ over the money. It’s a fat tip.

“Hey, let’s pee.”

“Together? What are we? Girls?” Jongdae laughs, but follows him anyway. It’s just natural, after all, he’s there to accompany Baekhyun.

 

 

They have to run back to the car again; the place they need to visit to buy the lights isn’t far, but obviously, they can’t walk – Jongdae sometimes forget it.

“What do you think,” Baekhyun scratches his head under the jumper. “I don’t know about this stuff…”

“I think a continuous light is good. Strobe is too strong,” Jongdae points in the magazine. There’s no one in the store to talk to them. “A simple one will do. Also, a carrying case. How are we going to enter the place with this and don’t look like I’m a professional?”

“Don’t think about this, let this problem be in my hands,” he winks. “Just… tell me what you need.”

“Ask for a kit,” Jongdae nods. “We need a place indoors to use it.”

“Done.”

Kris calls Baekhyun in the exact moment they leave the store – Baekyun lies and tells him he had a diarrhea and had to stop in the mall to use the restroom.

Jongdae sees The Singer’s club for the first time. He talked about this place in his thesis and eventually Rolling Stone articles mentions their activities. It’s just like any other place where people who do the same activity or has the same job can meet and have access to everything related to what they do. But musicians have to be dramatic and choose a very outstanding shining building; to do exclusive presentations or to have intense fights instead of… having a place to drink coffee and talk about salary. He never went there and he’s okay with that. Besides backing vocals, radio singers, vocal trainers, voice actors and jingle singers, they had also Idols and celebrities, so it would be understandable that they didn’t like journalists there. Nothing too fancy or important happened at this type of place, that was the function; in the middle of common, ordinary singers, you could find some barefaced Idol using flip flops.

Which was Baekhyun, in that specific day.

“Are you okay?” Kris asks, walking to them. Jongdae would pay attention to how fine he looks, but the lobby was impressing: it was marble and glass, guitars hanging on the wall, big smooth couches and stylized speakers. The reception was big, but there was just a beautiful lady and a sleeping dude behind it.

“Yeah, yeah,” Baekhyun waves. “Just too many meatballs.”

“I thought you sweated a lot when you eat meatballs,” Kris said, confused.

“Ah, today shit went down. Literally,” he says quickly. “Hey, have you seen how pretty Sunny is looking today?”

“Ah, yes, I’ll talk to her,” he mumbles. Baekhyun takes the carrying boxes and, just waving to the girl, goes straight to the stairs and disappears. Jongdae looks around, unsure of what to do next. He sits in the couch and stares at the people coming in and out of the stairs. He checks his phone, but there’s nothing relevant.

Kris is still talking to the girl, and even with her sitting behind the desk, you can see how tiny she looks next to him. Someone is waking up the sleepy guy, using the same college jersey Minseok uses once in a while.

Someone who… looks way too much like Minseok.

Fuck.

It’s Minseok.

Jongdae sits straight and passes his hand through his hair, trying to fix it. Minseok and the sleeping dude (now, almost awake) seems to be having a conversation.

“Hey!”

Jongdae almost jumps off the couch. It’s just Baekhyun.

“What’s up, man?” The singer laughs. “Come on, I have to find a way to put you in or we will be late.”

He pulls Jongdae by the arm. Jongdae follows him, but his legs just stop when he realizes he will have to be next to Minseok – who’s oblivious to his presence.

“I… just wait…” Jongdae says, stopping Baekhyun. “I…”

“No, we have to pass before Sunny or Heechul see us,” Baekhyun says, pointing to the stairs. “You can’t come in without being a member.”

“What?”

“Why do you think I wanted the interview to be here? The club is the only place I can be truly alone. Kris can come to my house anytime, he has the keys,” Baekhyun sighs. “But here nor him nor the security can come with me.”

“Well, I can’t come too?”

“You just need to be quiet, ok?” Baekhyun whispers. “They don’t stop me unless there’s something really wrong. I already put the boxes upstairs.”

Jongdae nods, and he’s relieved that at least Minseok won’t notice him. He’s… not dressed for that.

“Hey, Baekhyun,” the girl receptionist says. “You forgot to grab your magazine!”

The other receptionist notices them and points a finger. They freeze in the spot.

“Hey, B! Who’s with you?”

Baekhyun takes a quick worried look at Jongdae and then smiles. Minseok is writing something, using the desk as support and he doesn’t seem to be interested in the conversation. Jongdae is worried about how he is getting in, but he can’t help but think how odd it is that Minseok doesn’t give a shit that Baekhyun is near him.

“Don’t you know him?” Baekhyun fake laughs. “You’re being too lazy, Heechul. I thought you knew everyone by face here, old man.”

“Fuck you,” Heechul laughs. “No, I don’t. What’s his number?”

“He didn’t bring his club card,” Baekhyun shrugs. “I kind of kidnapped him here just to help me in the vocal train. He’s a music specialist and I want him to see if I’m cool.”

“Well, I need a name to put on the list,” Heechul says, showing them a pink, glitter pen. “I’ll find his number with it.”

“Anh… he may be not in the system, he’s dumb with technology, but no one cares because he’s a very well-known singer, so…”

“Really?” Heechul laughs. “No offense, but he doesn’t look like a singer.”

“Ah, but he is,” Baekhyun says and he sounds like he’s genuinely offended. “His name is Jongdae and he can prove to you, he’s a singer.”

“What?” Jongdae asks, a bit too loud. Minseok turns to them, so fast that he almost loses equilibrium.

They stare at each other.

“Jongdae? Is it you?” Minseok has a half-smile on his face and he’s shocked.

“Hello…” Jongdae awkwardly waves after disentangling his arm from Baekhyun’s. “Nice to see you again.”

“Who’s this dude?” Baekhyun whispers in Jongdae’s ear.

“Do you know him, Minseok?” Heechul asks, surprised. “You avoid people…”

“He’s my crush,” Jongdae whispers back, now that people aren’t paying attention to them. “Shut up.”

“Anh… he’ a…” Minseok looks at Baekhyun. “He’s a famous singer. Of course, I know him.”

Baekhyun smiles, satisfied.

“I can’t believe I don’t know who you are,” Heechul almost pouts. “Even this anti-social cat owner knows you… ah, I know what we can do.”

He disappears under the table and when he’s back he has a mike and a small dipositive in his hands.

“Hey, Sunny, have you used the karaoke in the last few days?”

“Yeah,” she answers him. Kris is no longer around and she’s paying attention to their conversation. “You need to turn on the Bluetooth.”

“On the mike?”

“No. I mean, both. On the mike and the speakers, of course, but try to connect with the wifi I have the app on my phone.”

“What’s going on?” Jongdae whispers in panic. Minseok walks to them with a curious expression.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, chuckling. “And that’s your research?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jongdae feels really guilty. Minseok must think he’s a liar. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Here, Mr. Famous, please put some action in this boring day,” Heechul gives Jongdae the mike. Jongdae takes it hesitantly. “You can get over the table, if you want to. Your friend Baekhyun used to do that all the time.”

Jongdae looks at the mike in his hands and then to Baekhyun.

“Come on,” Baekhyun whispers. “Go there and sing?”

“Are you serious?” Jongdae whispers back. “I’m not a singer.”

Baekhyun pushes him softly. Minseok isn’t that far from them, but he doesn’t seem to be listening.

“You’re telling me you work for Rolling Stone and you have never sang in your fucking life?” Baekhyun whispers angrily. “You don’t have to be a singer.”

Jongdae looks at Minseok. He has a curious face; probably because of the intimate way that Baekhyun and Jongdae are whispering to each other.

Heechul coughs.

“Which song, my friend? Please, no hipster shit.”

“Mariah Carey,” Baekhyun announces. “Any one of them.”

Jongdae grabs his arm to stop him, but it’s futile.

“Come on,” Baekhyun whispers. “We already are blocked, anyway. And it’s not like you’ve got something to lose.”

Jongdae looks around. All eyes are on him. He’s not used to that, but he’s not scared too.

“Fine,” he says loudly to Baekhyun. “You owe me one.”

Baekhyun makes a victory dance. Heechul jumps off his chair to help Jongdae get on the table. Sunny pushes back her chair to give him space.

“It’s been a long time since we got some action here,” she explains, smiling. “I’ll check the sound boxes and then you can start.”

“Hey, it’s ‘I Wanna Know What Love Is’ okay or nah?” Heechul asks. “It’s the only one that it’s already downloaded.”

“It’s fine,” Jongae nods, following Sunny with his eyes while she’s inspecting the boxes. “Of course, everybody knows this one.”

Few people who were just passing stops by to see what’s going on. Minseok sits on the nearest couch to look at him better. Baekhyun is cheering like he’s in a concert. Even Kris pops up from nowhere to see what’s going on.

The instrumental starts.

“ _I gotta take a little time… A little time to think things over_ ,” Jongdae sings low, trying to remember the few singing classes he attended in Cali. “ _I better read between the lines… In case I need it when I'm older…_ ”

Affinition, breath between the words and right pronunciation.

Do. Not. Forget. The. Words.

Baekhyun mouths ‘you’re doing great’ and Jongdae realizes he can’t just sing in peace if he tries to pay attention at so many things at the same time. He closes his eyes, holds the mike tighter and pretends he’s in the shower.

Baekhyun is fucking right. He’s got nothing to lose. Jongdae loves music and music is about feeling – music is the reason he studies so many things in communication and publicity. His colleagues wanted to work in big publicity agencies, in television or just in creating media content, while Jongdae was incessantly listening to music albums, writing songs he would never show to anyone… No other media would be more interesting, no other art would be as much effective as music. No other tool of communication can be as universal about music – you can send any message despite the language barrier, the differences between people, and the perceptions of the world. It’s just about feeling.

“ _In my life there's been heartache and pain. I don't know… if I can face it again. I can't stop now, I've traveled so far… To change… this lonely… life…”_

Before his thesis presentation, Jongdae used to read over and over again the words of Jimi Hendrix: “ _I was scared to go up there and play in front of all those people. You really want to turn those people on. It's just like a feeling of really deep concern. You get very intense. That's the way I look at it. That's natural for me. Once you hit the first note, or once the first thing goes down, then it's all right. Let's get to those people's butts!_ ”. It was glued to his dorm’s door.

“ _I wanna know what love is… I want you to show me…"_

Because after all, he was nervous, but he wasn’t shy. He went there and did his job; he went to many places and did many scary things. Challenges were just… a habit.

“ _I wanna feel what love is… I know you can show me_.”

And if he’s going to embarrass himself, then he will. But no one is truly embarrassed when they’re having fun, and Jongdae is always having fun while singing on the shower. Why not here too?

“ _Gonna take a little time… a little time to look around me… I've got nowhere left to hide. It looks like love has finally found me… In… my… life… there's been heartache and pain. I don't know… if I can face it again…I can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change… this… lonely… life.”_

Ok. Time to scream like he wants to annoy his whole team in an early Monday.

“ _I wanna know what love is… I want you to show me! I wanna feel what love is… I know you can show me, show me! I wanna know, I wanna know what love is…”_

Jongdae takes a long breath.

He gulps.

 

He opens his eyes.

.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks Midou!  
> Also, thank you all for reading. This is my fave fic to write about, since it's one of my favourite subjects. I would love to know if yoy guys are into this too... or just here to laught at crazy Idols :)


	3. would you dare to cross the line?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags! This chapter has mentions of sexual acts!

 

 

So, how is Jongdae is supposed to read this?

Minseok is gaping at him. Baekhyun is covering his mouth with both hands. Sunny is trying to contain a few group of people trying to get in. Heechul is making a weird face. Kris isn’t any different, but, to be honest, Jongdae wasn’t expecting a reaction from him.

“Can I…” Jongdae gulps – his throat is dry. “Get down?”

“You can’t come in,” Sunny screams at the group on the entry. “And no pictures, please. We don’t allow— Get out!”

Since no one is responding him, Jongdae just jumps down, making a ‘plack!’ noise on the ground. That seems to wake them up. Heechul walks to him, giving him intriguing looks.

“I’m pretty sure I know everyone here by face,” he says, inspecting Jongdae. “So, if you’re a singer, why don’t you just sign up? Our annuities don’t cost that much.”

“What the hell,” Baekhyun finally reacts, and his scream is more effective to scare the mob. “What the fucking hell was that?”

“Well, I’m sorry if I offended you,” Jongdae whines. Heechul laughs hard and loud – he looks a bit crazy with his full, permed hair.

“Ah, I knew Baekhyun was lying,” Heechul raises a finger, like a mother stating that she’s always right. “You need to work in your acting skills.”

“Fuck you,” Baekhyun walks to them, angry. Jongdae couldn’t be less surprised when they start to bicker. He’s still a bit dizzy after an adrenaline rush.

“Shut up,” Heechul spits. “I won’t block you two. You can come in. He’s not signed, but how can I stop him after _this_ show? But just for today! If he wants to come here, he has to sign up like everyone else.”

“He’s not a professional singer,” Baekhyun sighs. “I mean, he’s not being paid for it.”

Heechul stares at Jongdae, just to confirm. Jongdae nods.

“We can fix that,” Heechul fumbles in his pocket and takes out a creased card. “In case you want to join us.”

Jongdae lifts it so he and Baekhyun can read at the same time.

 

**SUPER JUNIOR ENTERTAINMENT**

**THE MOST HANDSOME GUYS ( _except like… one or two fellas_ )**

“My label is also interested in people who can scream a lot,” he explains. “My number is on the back. Call me. For professional reasons only, I’m taken.”

“No one wants to fuck you,” Baekhyun says.

“You wouldn’t fuck me?” Heechul asks, fake offended.

“You got me there,” Baekhyun smiles.

“Can we… just get in?” Jongdae suggests, but he’s still a bit high. He just wants to sit and hyperventilates for a while. “We don’t have time to waste here.”

Baekhyun blinks, a bit surprised and then nods slowly. And because nothing is supposed to go as planned, Kris calls him and the singer has to leave – he mouths to Jongdae ‘stay there’ with a a finger pointing to him, before running to his manager. Jongdae needs water and to sit for about half an hour.

 

 “Hey.”

Jongdae is so confused that he didn’t even recognize Minseok’s voice before turning back.

“Oh, hey,” he mumbles and it hits him that Minseok was watching the whole thing. “Oh, hi… how… how… are you? You look nice today.”

Amazing. Very natural.

“You’re full of secrets, aren’t you?” Minseok walks in and he’s less than a step distant from Jongdae’s personal space. “You told me you didn’t knew Baekhyun and now you two are friends… and you’re a singer…”

“I’m not, I’m not a singer,” he explains quickly. “I also met Baekhyun recently!”

“Really?” Minseok laughs. “That doesn’t look like… a recent _friendship_.”

His tone is very suggestive. Jongdae doesn’t like that.

“We’re… we’re just working—” he starts to explain, but Minseok raises a finger and places it graciously in his lips.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Minseok says gently. Jongdae is squealing inside. “I just wanted you to not lie to me. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I consider you as a friend.”

_I consider you as a friend._

_As a friend._

_A friend._

F-R-I-E-N-D.

“I’m glad to know,” Jongdae says as if his soul wasn’t just crushed in many pieces. “I’m sorry. Sometimes my work needs to be a little confidential. Also, you haven’t told me you’re a singer.”

“Oh, it’s just some gigs,” Minseok shrugs. “It used to be a hobby, but now once in a while I do some jingles for TV commercials.”

Jongdae narrows his eyes. So maybe that Marshmallow commercial that he listened non-stop because the voice resembled Minseok’s…

“Ah, I have to go,” Minseok says, gesturing to the entryway, now almost empty. “I just came here to sign some papers. See you soon?”

“Of course…” Jongdae smiles. After all, he was friend zoned but he’s not bitter. “See you soon.”

Minseok smiles back and leans in his personal space.

“You should sing,” he turns his head slightly to the side and licks his lips. “You looked sexy out there.”

Jongdae closes his mouth to avoid a five-minute scream to escape his mouth and looks, paralyzed, while Minseok leaves. Boy, he has to stop using those… His phone rings and the soothing melody of his incoming messages makes Jongdae remember how to breathe.

 

 **Chanyeol:** stop staring at his ass

 **Jongdae:** let me live!!!!!!!!!

 **Chanyeol:** when you have time visit gosh!

 **Chanyeol:** shit went down

 **Jongdae:** again?

 **Chanyeol:** yeah :(

 

Jongdae keeps his phone in his pocket because he’s not ready for another scandal. Actually, he will wait until he goes back to his natural chill state after the small disturbance to his internal peace. He inhales and exhales.

Baekhyun screams next to him.

“Hey,” he jumps on Jongdae, as always. Jongdae hugs him back, because he’s in need of emotional support. “What happened, man? You’re red as a tomato. Are you still nervous because of what happened? You did great!”

“No,” Jongdae sighs, rubbing Baekhyun’s back. “Minseok was playing with my feelings again.”

“I would let him play with my…” Jongdae slaps him. “Okay, okay. He’s sexy, but I won’t talk about your man.”

“Thank you.”

“He was really impressed and so was I,” Bakehyun puts some distance between them, so they can talk looking at each other faces. “Why are you not a professional singer, man? I’m mad!”

“Ah, aren’t you super competitive?” Jongdae mocks him. “Then you should be happy if less people are singing out there.”

“No, not at all,” Baekhyun says, serious. “What’s the point when there’s no one to compete? I do have the best nemesis. You could be too.”

Jongdae laughs sincerely but shakes his head.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, let’s go,” Baekhyun pulls him by the arm. “We have things to do.”

 

If Jongdae was impressed by seeing just the public area, he couldn’t even imagine how beautiful it was inside. They had prizes and pictures all over the walls, several instruments on the corridor – and they looked like they were not just an adornment –, mirrors and rooms everywhere. Even the cafeteria looked like a dream, all golden and shiny.

After they picked the lighting case, Baekhyun points to a picture:

“See? That’s me,” he says, proud. “I’m in the hall of fame here.”

“I wouldn’t expect less,” Jongdae says sincerely. Why one of the most popular artists of the nation wouldn’t be there?

Baekhyun elbows him playfully.

“Do you want to take the photos here?” He asks, looking around. “It’s kind of cliché, because everyone has an Instagram… here is the favorite spot for them.”

“I thought it was the cafeteria.”

“Ah, that too…”

“Is there a place you like the most?” Jongdae asks.

“Hummmm…” Baekhyun makes a face and it makes him look like an angry kid. “Not… a lot. I guess I like the recording room? I don’t know. Why you don’t look around and find a nice place? I’ll go to the dressing room and I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay,” Jongdae mumbles. Because he doesn’t want to walk around carrying weight, he leaves the things there and just… appreciates the place. When he was a kid, he thought about being an architect, but it was just a fascination of buildings, he wasn’t great drawing. By the number of recording rooms and the two dressing rooms, Heechul was probably lying about the annuity price.

After wandering around for a significant amount of time, Jongdae finds an old, rust door next to a balcony – it’s a living contrast to the rest of the building, but even being old, it’s majestic. A tiny sign next to it says: “Archive – authorized only”. The thing is: one does not become a journalist if one does not trespass and invade places to report. Jongdae tries to open it and the door isn’t locked. He walks in carefully, checking the place, but there’s nothing besides piles of papers and bookshelves. Jongdae sits in the only chair lying around and almost jumps off when his phone rings.

 

 **superb:** where are u?

 **superb:** I found the lights

 **superb:** have you left?

 **jongdae:** what? No!!!

 **jongdae:** I’m in the archive

 **superb:** what???? Lol

 **superb:** wait for me :)

Baekhyun appears at the door five minutes later, all dressed up. He’s using a black button-up silk shirt, a dark jeans and shiny boots. His make-up is on point, smoked black, and he looks so beautiful, it makes Jongdae feel a bit ugly.

“Damn,” Jongdae screams.

“Shut up,” Bakehyun complains, lifting the case. “Why are you here? No one comes here but people who wants to wri— oh. I see.”

“I thought it was a nice place,” Jongdae says. “It’s like a museum in a mall.”

“There’s a rule that forbids the president to renovate the space unless everyone signs their authorization,” Baekhyun says. “I had to sign just so they could buy new shelves, can you imagine how crazy it would be to fix the whole place?”

Jongdae nods.

“Come on,” Baekhyun claps. “I spent ten minutes just fixing my eyeliner!”

“Eh, calm down,” Jongdae laughs. “Ah, you did all of this by yourself? You’re looking good.”

“Ah, I did it,” he smiles, and he seems to be slightly embarrassed. “When I was a trainee I learned to do make up fast, because the time you lose doing it you could be sleeping.”

“Let me put the lights in the place so you won’t sweat…” Jongdae says, looking around. “Where can I plug… it…”

“What?” Baekhyun says loud, then covers his mouth. “So many nice places and you’ll shot here?”

“This is a nice place,” Jongdae says casually. “I will set the lights up… it can’t be that hard.”

Baekhyun stares offendedly at him for a while, but then gives up and helps Jongdae to order the lights. He’s actually better in arranging the barn doors carefully, allowing Jongdae to choose the best place to be the background.

“What are the papers about?” He asks. The books are clearly books that talk about national music – most of them must cite the singer’s club.

“Many things,” Baekhyun says, stretching. “Mostly songs and registrations, I guess. No one comes here but the staff. I know the singer’s club helps with registration and recording. Taeyeon used to record here, instead of a studio.”

“And you don’t? Why? Don’t you like this place?”

“Ah, she had more artistic freedom. Also, she didn’t need to record with a manager next to her,” he sighs. “Can we start now?”

Lights on, Baekhyun is ready to pose, so, Jongdae just has to test the camera.

“That’s a nice camera. Did you select the options in the section?” Jongdae shows him the small screen.

“Ah, it was Kris, probably on my last birthday. I don’t use the camera,” he shrugs. “No time.”

Jongdae is feeling a bit… like a jerk. He seems to always ask the obvious things. Of course, Baekhyun has no control over his life choices and he probably can’t just… go for a walk and take pictures. Baekhyun turns to watch a pile of papers and Jongdae kneels so he can take a picture of the way light fall in his face between the empty spaces of the shelf.

“Hey,” Baekhyun complains, after hearing the click sound. “Warn me first!”

Jongdae just winks at him and keeps taking pictures. It’s easy; Baekhyun is used to it and he’s really photogenic.

“So, tell me,” Jongdae says, checking the last pictures he took. “Is it worth?”

“What?” Baekhyun is confused.

“Is it worth to be an Idol?” Jongdae asks again, now positioning the camera. “After all these years?”

“Of course,” Baekhyun says resolutely. “I wouldn’t trade my life for any other.”

Jongdae knows he will continue, so he just worries about finding the right take.

“… I… always dreamt about the life I live, you know?” He says, looking down. The colors in the place make like he’s in a winter shot. His hair is falling on his forehead and he’s moving his fingers like he’s measuring something. “When I was a kid…and I knew it would be hard but I never thought about giving up. Sometimes… my body or my mind were exhausted… and they wanted to give up, but I had strength and kept going. Of course, it’s exhausting. But many people have exhausting jobs and I love what I do.”

“Nice. And… what about the future?”

“I don’t see myself doing anything else,” Baekhyun says calmly.

“Really?” Jongdae sits in the ground, leaving the camera on his lap. “And you think you can live like this for… the next ten years?”

“I don’t… know for sure. It’s hard… but it’s getting better. I do have to… sacrifice. No, not sacrifice, but to… make difficult choices and give up on few things I wanted… but in the end… I get so much love, you know? Every day, thousands of people saying they love me and are worried about me… so… I… I feel blessed. It’s not bad,” he says confidently, like he’s has no doubt. “I just want to keep having this love and nothing else matters.”

“You’re telling me…” Jongdae licks his lips, almost closing an eye. “That it’s worth to sacrifice your personal desires in order to be loved?”

Baekhyun gapes at him.

“No, not at all,” Baekhyun says offended. “Why you— do you journalists have classes on how to twist people’s words?”

Jongdae laughs hard, “No. I’m just trying to understand better.”

“Well damn, I’ve said in your language,” Baekhyun pouts. “Don’t try to be a psychologist.”

Jongdae grabs the camera again.

“Okay, okay, so tell me about what you would like to change.”

“To change?”

“Yes, about your life. About how you are living right now. You would change something, right?”

“My diet,” Baekhyun says immediately and both laugh. “I would… like to do… outdoor things more. You know, walk on the streets, go to the mall, things like that… When I was travelling abroad during my honeymoon, I got to see the stars from the high of a hill for the first time… without being afraid,” his voice is small. “Then I realized I was an adult already and I was married and I couldn’t even hold my wife’s hand. It was… a realization. I never thought about that before.”

Jongdae moves the camera slowly away from his face, so he can see better the singer’s face.

“And… I can’t keep a phone for a long time? They find my number… Sometimes I think… they say horrible things every time I make a mistake. You,” he points to Jongdae, but it’s implicit who’s he talking to. “And I feel like… I can’t ever relax. But many people can’t relax for many things. For don’t having money, or hating their jobs… at least I feel full… I feel complete at my concerts. I bet many people can’t say that.”

“You’re right,” Jongdae mumbles.

“And I haven’t partied a lot, it’s true… or maybe dated a lot like I wanted to…” he snorts. “But I do break a lot of hearts out there, don’t I?”

“You sure do.”

“So I guess I have nothing to complain.”

“Do you have any regrets?” Jongdae asks, going back to his photographer function. “Something that you wished you could have changed?”

“I wished I had eaten more when I was younger and my metabolism wasn’t shit,” he snorts. “I wish I could have stopped SM from selling that horrible third album… I wish I could have enjoyed more EXO times…”

“You didn’t?”

“I was so anxious, so afraid. I had no idea we would be so famous…” he looks up, walking around. “I was afraid of not being good enough and… someone just exposing me for that. And I… I wish…”

Jongdae waits for the answer, but he has to capture the right moment when a bittersweet emotion takes over Baekhyun’s face.

“You’re not recording, are you?”

“Only on my mind,” Jongdae smiles.

“… I wish I would could fix whatever I did wrong in my past relationships,” he says easily, like he’s used to that thought. “I am happy and living my dream, but what’s the point if you can’t share it with someone?”

Jongdae blinks behind the camera.

“Like, I will go to Europe soon. What’s the point of visiting the Eiffel tower if… you know?”

Jongdae feels a bad taste in his mouth, but he won’t let this bad feeling win over him.

“Pretend you’re Adele and sing a sad, but beautiful song?”

Baekhyun stares at him for a second before cracking up.

“Man, you’re something else, aren’t you? Do you—”

The door opens slowly, but they don’t move. They can’t hide or run away, anyway. A short-haired girl in a soft, pink suit, using big glasses comes in; she’s holding a big hamburger. She stares at them, munching graciously and visibly unimpressed by the invasion.

“Hello, Seo,” Baekhyun says with a sweet (fake) voice. “You look so beautiful today!”

“I’m having PMS, don’t even try,” she says politely. “Please leave.”

 

.

 

Baekhyun closes the door with his knee, because he’s holding some gifts; fans caught him on the way home. He dragged Jongdae with him everywhere, but the journalist was on the phone with his brother, who called him to talk about his son.

“Ah, my nephew will have a birthday party…” he mumbles, walking in. He’s also holding Baekhyun’s gifts in in one hand and he deposits them in a box after the singer signalizes him to.

“Is that bad?” Baekhyun asks, taking off the shirt.

“Yes, because it’s a train ride, almost two hours,” he complains. “And I love my parents, but they keep asking me how I’m doing, if I’m dating, oh look…”

“Ah, you’re going to love it even more if you get divorced,” Baekhyun grunts, now taking off his pants. “I’ll take a shower. Can you put something on Netflix so we can watch?”

“Ah, fine, but aren’t you sleepy?” He watches Baekhyun disappearing into the dark corridor. “If you’re going this slow the Demogorgon will catch ya!”

He can perfectly hear Baekhyun’s squeal and his little run. Jongdae laughs to himself, but he also runs when he has to get to the room. He sits down and remembers he hasn’t touched his phone. What Chanyeol told him to do? He can’t remember.

 

 **Chanyeol:** when you have time visit gosh!

 **Chanyeol:** shit went down

 **Jongdae:** again?

 **Chanyeol:** yeah :(

 **Jongdae:** hey, which article

 **Chanyeol:** taemin’s

**Chanyeol sent a picture**

**Chanyeol:** kyungsoo fell asleep on my shoulder

 **Chanyeol:** ♡(ŐωŐ人)

 **Jongdae:** that’s sad

 **Chanyeol:** AT LEAST SOMETHING HAPPENS HERE

 **Chanyeol:** IT’S A START

 **Jongdae:** Minseok called me sexy today

 **Chanyeol:** well, damn, that’s good

 

Jongdae laughs but his smile dies in his face when he remembers he actually sang in front of Minseok, a professional singer. He sighs loudly and visits the enemy, to see what’s going on today. He doesn’t have to research a lot; it’s the first article in the list of “most commented”, and Jongdae is already shocked before reading.

 

**[breaking news] _video shows Jonghyun being proposed by promiscuous journalist_**

**BY GOSH! TEAM**

My, my! We are taken aback here after finding out a video that shows part-singer, part-legend Jonghyun, 28, being PROPOSED by Rolling Stone’s Taemin, 25, famous for breaking hearts into the music scene. The video (uploaded as a vine) only has six seconds and it’s hard to believe it’s just a prank – after all, it’s no secret that those two are close. Friends informed us that the video is legit indeed. Do you agree? Watch it and decide for yourselves!

 

Jongdae isn’t very convinced but he clicks on it anyway – he hopes this is not a virus clickbait.

He’s wrong. It’s just what it was announced: a video with Taemin, clearly drunk, kneeling and trying to rise a ring in his fingers while screaming ‘MARRY ME’, followed by a focus on Jonghyun’s confused face for a second, just to break in laughter later, screaming, ‘naaaaah’. It’s funny and for a moment Jongdae can’t understand what would be possible wrong about it.

He opens the group chat to see if the unread messages can explain what’s going on.

 

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** so…. What the hell was that?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** you two made a vine??

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** That was funny

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I mean, Jonghyun’s reaction

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** well, my reputation is over

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** good bye my dears

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** because you asked someone to marry you?

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** makes sense

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** it’s only a matter of time until they found out

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** about what?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I know I’ll regret this question somehow

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** OMG IT’S HAPPENING

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** is this the moment we witness Taemin being a romantic guy???

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** this is the moment where you witness THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I got drunk, he got drunk

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** after few beers and sexual acts that are inappropriate to comment

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** we got married.

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** HOW???????????

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I MEAN??? WHY??? WHAT???

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** just to clarify

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** are you still married like… right now?

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** we were in vegas

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** and yes, we never got a divorce

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I’m catholic and I don’t believe in divorce

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** That’s the reason no one knows

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I married with my catholic name

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** **（゜◇゜）**

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** boy WTF

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** ARE YOU SERIOUS????????????

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** yes

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** by the way…….. it’s a secret………..

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** not anymore

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I can hear boss screaming already

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I think he will believe it’s a joke

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** why

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** this video isn’t the worst thing they talked about Taemin

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** this time is no sex tape hahahaha

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** ah, he’s gonna blame us for his future PS

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** “look at all the crinkles on my face!!!”

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** LOL

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** yeah I’m late but sorry bro!!!!!

 

 

Jongdae was… way too tired for Netflix and ch— _just Netflix_. He will start doing the same diet as Baekhyun, because he used to be unstoppable when he was young. He remembers when he went to uni, worked, found time to date and have hobbies. Now he’s too used to chairs, coffee and air conditioners.

He tries to do the pillow fort just like Baekhyun does; he gets pretty close. He sits there and stares at the ceiling until he feels water falling on his face.

Baekhyun is shaking his wet hair over him.

“Waaae,” Jongdae complains, lifting his hands over his face. “Don’t you have a towel? It’s cold outside. You don’t feel cold?”

“Rarely,” he says, sitting down. He sits close to Jongdae and one of the pillows flies over. “So, any news?”

“Taemin and Jonghyun are married,” Jongdae yawns. “Like… my coworker. He is married to… Jonghyun.”

“He’s a lucky dude,” Baekhyun laughs. His huge t-shirt shakes over Jongdae’ arm and it tickles. “Ah, I knew he was secretly married, but I didn’t know the person was your friend.”

 “Yeah, I didn’t know either,” Jongdae smiles. “Until now. But life is full of weird things. Can we do the interview tomorrow?”

“Uhhh, didn’t we do today?”

“No! I haven’t recorded a thing. I need your words, exactly, one by one,” Jongdae lifts his hand to boop Baekhyun’s nose. “But at least I’ve got nice shots.”

“Can I see them?”

“Nope.”

“Ah, boring,” Baekhyun lay down. “But thanks for today.”

“Why?” Jongdae turns his head to see Baekhyun’s face.

“I don’t know,” he looks down and fidgeting with the pillow. “I guess… I don’t share things like that often. I have friends, but… some things are hard to tell. I don’t feel like I can talk about… I don’t know… I just think no one would care. Not… that they don’t care about me, but…”

“I get that,” Jongdae holds his hand to stop him to opening a hole in the pillow. “It’s hard to simply open up about things that sometimes we even let ourselves talk louder on our mind.”

“Yes…” Baekhyun smiles at him. “You’re good with words.”

“That’s my job. Aren’t yours too?”

“I don’t sing about what I feel. SM rejects my songs all the time. They need bops.”

“Ah, seems like every Idol complains about that… but then what to do with them?”

“Huh?”

“Your songs,” Jongdae says softly. “What do you do with them?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun shrugs. “I sing them when I’m on the piano.”

“I would like to hear them,” Jongdae says.

“Maybe when I stop filming,” Baekhyun yawns. “I have no problem singing it for you. I know you won’t steal them.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Ah, would you? They’re very cheesy songs. Only about love.”

“I told you I have no problem with the concept of love,” Jongdae pushes his lips up, like a duck. “I wouldn’t steal them, but I could sing them just to annoy you.”

“Eh,” Baekhyun rises his eyebrows, grinning. “Maybe you would sing them to impress your crush! You were so red when he talked to you. That’s was funny! Like a kid…”

Jongdae makes a scene of letting Baekhyun’s hand go. Baekhyun laughs hard.

“Well, he touched my mouth with the tip of his finger…” Jongdae fake pouts, but Baekhyun keeps laughing.

“That’s the level of flirting? Why don’t you just ask him on a date?”

“Well, I try! It’s not easy.”

“If I were in your place, I would have asked him for a session of Netflix and chill a long time ago,” Baekhyun raises a finger. “I have no time to waste.”

“So you do know,” Jongdae screams, sitting up.

“I know what?”

“That Netflix and chill is a slang for sex!”

“Yes, I do?” Baekhyun frowns.

“You said we were netflixing and chilling and we weren’t!”

“It was a joke.”

“I told Kyungsoo we were…!” Jongdae can’t even finish before Baekhyun fails to contain his laughs. “Ah, that’s not funny!”

“That’s funny as hell,” he puts his hands on his belly to laugh even more. Jongdae slaps him in the arm and gives up, laying down again.

Baekhyun side hugs him with an arm, “I hope that doesn’t ruin my chances with him.”

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae says seriously, staring at him. “You don’t have a single chance with Kyungsoo. Most people don’t.”

“Ah, but I’m not ‘most people’,” Baekhyun says fiercely. “I’m Byun Baekhyun and I never give up!”

“So this is how you pick people up,” Jongdae says dryly. “By trying until they give up.”

“Basically.”

“That’s… sad.”

“Thank you. I’ll try to follow you and just get red until they ask me out.”

“It worked with my last girlfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was an older powerful woman and she asked me out,” Jongdae says while poking Baekhyun’s face. “I’m not ashamed of that.”

“Okay.”

“Please, give up on trying to woo Kyungsoo. He can kill you. And he will.”

“We’re all gonna die someday.”

“You’re a crazy fucker, you know that?” Jongdae smiles at him. Baekhyun moves his arm until he finds a blanket.

“Yes, I do. But you are too, because you can keep up with me,” he hits Jongdae in the face with the pillow until Jongdae allows him to put under their heads. “Nah, turn around. Let’s sleep.”

“You won’t try to watch ten episodes even with your eye closing?”

“No,” he hugs Jongdae until they’re comfortably cuddling. “I can have a nice breakfast tomorrow if I wake up early, because I’ll have filming, training and to visit the doctor. Kris let me eat a lot in these days.”

“Okay,” Jongdae rubs his face on his pillow. “Don’t nose my neck.”

“You have chills,” he snorts. “I can feel it.”

“Shut up. Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

 

.

 

Jongdae thinks the best way to start the day is to take a shower at Baekhyun’s. Honestly.

 

He’s clean and happy, even if he’s dressed from head to toes in Baekhyun’s merch. Even the Converse has Baekhyun’s name on it. The pants are from Baekhyun’s signed collection with Calvin Klein and the shirt is a humiliating “Mrs. Byun”.

“Say cheese,” Baekhyun rises his phone over his cereal bowl. Jongdae smiles. “Now!”

“Why are you taking a picture?” Jongdae eats cereal too. It’s drowning on strawberry milk and has no sugar on it.

“I’ll have something to blackmail you and you don’t publish my secrets,” he says, keeping his phone in his pocket. He’s dressed from head to toes, casual but looking fine. “Also, it’s cute.”

“That was the only shirt he found?”

“No, but if you were a true fan you would be happy,” Baekhyun points, moving his spoon. “There’s no Mrs. Byun now, this is a free spot—”

“Taeyeon’s lawyer just called me,” Kris announces, opening the door. He’s not very polite. “Why does this keep happening?”

“Talking about the devil…” Baekhyun sighs deeply, closing his eyes. “What they want this time?”

“The same as ever,” Kris leans on the door and Jongdae is offended by the fact he looks like he’s in a photoshoot. “I scheduled a meeting today, just before your doctor appointment, so you better hurry.”

“What? I have nothing to talk with those people,” he answers, angry, putting a spoon full of cereal in his mouth and munching loudly. Kris snorts, but it sounds sarcastic.

“Well, since they’re threating to fight for the property on the court,” he says pointedly, “no lawyers this time. The meeting is just between you two.”

Baekhyun spits everything that is inside of his mouth. At Jongdae’s direction. To be more precise, on Jongdae’s face. The milk and the chewed cereal runs down to his ridiculous shirt and Jongdae just closes his eyes and tries to breathe.

What’s next?

“What the fuck,” Baekhyun screams, completely ignoring Jongdae’s situation. “I already told her I’m not giving the fucking house!”

“Yes, I know,” Kris says, tired. “None of you two want the cars and the apartment, you only want the beach house. Now, we can’t do anything. You two need to solve this.”

“Listen, if we could solve shit by talking, there would be no divorce,” he stands up. “Why do I have to meet her? I have so many shit to do today!”

“Then make it quick,” Kris points to Jongdae. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes, give your friend a new shirt.”

Jongdae cleans his face slowly, staring deadly at Baekhyun’s eyes. The singer gulps.

“Sorry about that.”

 

Jongdae finally changes to a nice hoodie that Baekhyun uses in his concerts, but he’s not exactly happy. First, he needs to sit down to finish Yixing’s review so he can send to interns, he has to call his landlords, he has to cut his hair (it’s falling over his eyes) and he can’t concentrate because Baekhyun is a ball of anxiety. Jongdae has to sit on his hand in the backseat of the car so the singer won’t try to eat his nails.

“Don’t grab my ass.”

“You’re sitting in my hand. It’s only my right.”

“What the hell is going on,” Jongdae asks sincerely.

“I’ll ask them to take you to any place you want to,” Baekhyun says. He’s looking to his front and he seems… to older. “Now, I won’t have time for the interview today, so, we can start tomorrow. You can work peacefully and return at night, if you want to.”

“No,” Jongdae frowns. “At least I’ll accompany you now. I can leave when you leave too.”

Baekhyun looks at him, gulping.

“Thank you. I promise it’ll be quick.”

“Don’t believe that,” Kris sighs.

The place is not a court. It’s a fancy but common building – like any other where people in suits and high heels work. Jongdae already know he had to run when they’re leaving the car, but he only stops after Baekhyun.

There’s a strange feeling in the air, because he’s not talking. They take the elevator to the fifth floor and they sit in chairs next to a big dark glass door. There’s a big name on white letters and under it, it’s written “Conciliation”.

Jongdae spends a minute or two in silence, but he can’t contain his natural curiosity.

“Sorry, but what’s going on?”

Baekhyun sighs.

“Property divisions.”

“I thought these things are solved when people divorced?”

“They are,” Baekhyun nods slowly, staring at his hands. “We made a prenuptial agreement about almost everything. Everything we bought after being married was divided by our needs. But there’s an exception that makes one of our houses to be read as a separate property. My beach house was a gift. Yixing bought me as a gift, to apologize for not attending the wedding.”

“And?” Jongdae holds Baekhyun’s arm and rubs it gently.

“I barely used the house, but since it was a gift for me, the court determined it was mine,” he licks his lips. “But… I was starting the solo career when I married. I barely visited the place. Taeyeon’s lawyers are still fighting because they can prove she spent most time there and she has an “emotional attachment” to the place.”

“Oh,” Jongdae nods. “I see.”

They stay in silence again.

“So, are we here, because…”

“Because I won’t give the house,” he finally stares at Jongdae. “I understand she used to use the place to compose, that she likes being there. But it was a gift for me!”

“Oh,” Jongdae mumbles again.

“I know it sounds selfish, but…” Baekhyun looks down again.

“It doesn’t,” Jongdae says tentatively, but it sounds… like he’s not convinced. It’s not because he thinks Baekhyun is a liar. It’s because he has no proximity of the situation. Knowing himself, he would probably give everything, because he doesn’t care much about material things.

“It’s tiring,” Baekhyun says. “The worst part in the divorce… is that… it’s so fucking tiring. I mean, when you think it’s over, there’s another thing and it feels like we can never move on.”

Jongdae keeps quiet. He knows he can’t say anything that will help. He just side hugs Baekhyun. After few minutes, the elevator door opens and Taeyeon comes in.

It’s a bit hard to describe how powerful she looks, since she’s one of the tiniest human beings Jongdae has ever seen. She’s skinny, small, has a long golden blonde hair that ends in curls; she’s in all black, dress and sneakers and she’s using a hat and sunglasses. Both men sit straight. There’s a girl walking behind her. She’s taller and brunette – her high heels makes small noises on the floor.

Taeyeon stops in front of them, takes off her sunglasses, looks at Baekhyun, then at the door. Silent as she walked in, she walks out, entering the other room. The other girl stands next to the door.

“I have to go,” Baekhyun says, standing up. He takes out money off the pocket and gives to Jongdae, who holds it confused. “I… don’t want to interrupt you. Hail a cab and go do your things. I’ll call you later. Thanks for coming here with me.”

“What are you going to do when you leave?”

“Buy an ice-cream, eat and cry, then follow my routine. I don’t have time to waste. Sorry.”

“No problem.”

“I’ll call you,” he repeats before disappearing in the room.

 

Jongdae stares at the door for a while, then realizes the girl is staring at him. She’s stunning, probably the most beautiful face he has ever seen. She’s using a long beige dress and a coat over her shoulders. Her hair is long and her bag is a Channel.

Jongdae bows. She does the same.

“Hi, I’m Stephanie Hwang,” she says gingerly. “Xoxo_steph on Instagram.”

“I’m Kim Jongdae,” he says, still confused. “I’m… chen21 on Instagram?”

She laughs.

“Sorry. It’s because people know me because of my Instagram. It’s a habit, you see. I’m used to introduce myself like this.”

“Ah, fine,” he chuckles.

“Sorry. I… kind of overheard your conversation,” she smiles. “Taeyeon also dismissed me and I’m going to grab a coffee. Wanna come with me?”

Jongdae blinks.

Kyungsoo’s voice appears on his mind – maybe he’s being asked out? Is that how confident people flirt? He looks at her. No way. Too much sand to his little truck.

“Hummm… yes?” He stands up and coughs. “Of course.”

“My car is in the garage,” she points to the elevator. He follows her. They stay in silence until they get to her car, a pink Cadillac. Her car keys are also pink. She takes off her shoes elegantly before driving. Jongdae feels like he’s in a James Bond movie.

“I’m going to Chocolate Love, it’s from a friend of mine, Yuri,” she explains, driving calmly. “Do you know it?”

“I’ve heard about, but I never went to it,” he answers. Actually, he knows it’s one of these places where coffee costs ten times the price of a regular expresso and you can get things like 50% coffee, 40% sugar and 10% Chantilly.

“Oh, you’ll love it,” she says. “It’s a nice place. By the way, I’m a stylist. I work at my own store. I just came here to support Taeyeon.”

“Oh. I’m a journalist. I work for Rolling Stone.”

“Ah,” she squeals happily. “I always buy the magazine. I’m Sunmi’s biggest fan.”

“She’s… nice,” what else he can say? The only things he knows about Sunmi is that she’s a great editor, a fashion icon and a raging lesbian. During the way to the coffee place, they share small facts about his life. Stephanie puts on Red Velvet to play and tells him Irene is her ‘fave’; he tells her he’s a Joy fan. They walk on talking about few events they went to and Jongdae is too distracted to notice anything around him. It’s a fancy and aesthetic pleasing café like any other.

“What do you want to drink?” She opens her fluffy pastel bag. “It’s on me, since I kidnapped you.”

“No, you don’t—”

“I insist,” she smiles and as grown male Jongdae was taught to act like a dumbass in front of extremely attractive women. Socialization works just fine in moments like this.

“Okay. So, you can choose for me,” he smiles back. “I trust you.”

“Ah, you look like you would like something more basic,” In other words, Jongdae is boring. He won’t complain. Standing as he must look next to her, hoodie-jeans-sneaker-big-bag, it’s a compliment. “A latte.”

She orders a weird named drink with strawberries and Chantilly and his latte seems good. He gently places them on a table and pulls the chair so she can sit down.

“Oh, thanks,” she smiles, looking up. Jongdae smiles back and he’s ready to take a seat when he notices a man standing and staring.

“Boss?”

“Huh?” Junmyeon drinks, shaking his big coffee cup; he looks like he was ready to leave the place. “Oh, hello, Jongdae… nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too,” Jongdae smiles. “What a coincidence!”

“I was going to work,” he mumbles, looking at Stephanie. “Are you…?”

“Stephanie, do you know Junmyeon?” Jongdae points politely. “He’s the music section editor on Rolling Stone.”

“Nice to meet you,” she does a little bow with her head only.

“Nice to meet you too,” he says dryly. “I have to go. I’ll mail you.”

“Oh, but—” Jongdae says, but it’s futile. Junmyeon just turns and leaves. He’s using one of his expensive but weird looking sweaters, and it’s easy to spot him while he’s exiting the place.

“Any problem?” She asks. Jongdae shrugs and sits down.

“I don’t know,” he tries to smile. “He’s usually gentler and he talks a lot normally. Maybe he’s on a bad mood. It’s been a rough month for us.”

“I heard news about the magazine,” she nods – she seems to be reminiscing. “I think it was about a furry guy.”

Jongdae snorts.

“Yes, I guess so,” he smiles.

“Sorry about stealing you today,” she plays with the pink straw on her drink. “I just needed to talk to someone who knows what’s going on. And that’s pretty much… you?”

“Oh,” he nods. “I guess.”

“This summer house thing is just… exhausting.” She continues after taking a sip. “I tried to convince Taeyeon to give up, but she’s not… easy.”

“She seems… huh…” He can’t say bossy – it’s offensive. But the truth is, he felt a lot of power in such a small body! Ah, maybe that’s the reason Baekhyun was attracted to Kyungsoo.

“Well, she’s strong-minded. She’s also a Pisces and she’s… she needs to believe in stuff, you see? She created many good things in that space and she believe in its aura and also, it’s close to the beach… so…”

“I’m not sure, but I also think Baekhyun is keeping the house for emotional attachment. It was a gift from someone he loved very much.”

“I imagined that,” she says quietly, biting the straw. “Taeyeon believes he’s doing that because he’s stubborn or immature, but I guess he doesn’t seem to enjoy fighting.”

“He doesn’t…” Jongdae mumbles.

“It’s also hard for me,” she says sincerely and Jongdae is taken aback by how beautiful she is. “As her girlfriend, it bothers me they still keep this bond. Not just because of jealousy, but it’s hard for me to watch her suffer.”

Jongdae blinks.

_Girlfriend?_

“Yes, of course…” he whispers. Yeah, it was clear they weren’t on a date, but… he will tell Kyungsoo later, so Jongdae can prove to him that no one hits on him.

“You seem surprised,” she leans her head, curious. “You didn’t know about me…”

“Baekhyun doesn’t talk about Taeyeon. I mean, to me,” Jongdae realizes he’s talking about a person he… met… days ago. It’s a bit weird to talk this intimately about a… “I’m just a friend.”

Stephanie’s mouth makes an ‘O’.

“I’m sorry. I saw you two when we… I just assumed…”

“No problem,” Jongdae smiles. “I’m not offended.”

“I’m really sorry. I just brought you here to complain and I—”

“I told you,” he interrupts her gently. “No problem. I would love to listen.”

She seems surprised, but smiles.

“It was just… I need to see an end on this. They can’t fight over a house… let me tell you, this house isn’t that expensive. They have so much money; I suggest to her to just… sell the house and divide the money, but she wants it. And he wants it too, the house is in his name. I’m tired.”

“I can imagine.”

“I’ll keep trying to convince her,” she says.

“I’ll try to convince him too,” Jongdae agrees. “I think they know it’s not a smart thing to keep fighting over this.”

She sips her coffee on the pink straw, thinking. Jongdae drinks his latte too, it tastes delicious – a lot of sugar and cream.

“I just think this is not a type of thing that should be happening with famous people,” she says thoughtfully. “Can you imagine if people find out?”

“Ah,” Jongdae snorts. “Yes, I do.”

 

.

 

His home isn’t half as bad as he thought, but his belongings are all in a sole room, just to help people clean the space. Jongdae needs the help of Sehun to pick his things, because he doesn’t have a defined ABS, muscles and… probably more than 1,80m. He puts just few things in his bag, dresses a bit better (clothes without Baekhyun’s name on it, at least) and he leaves, so the people cleaning could finish their job in peace. Just another day being kicked out from his own apartment.

He decides to work on _Chaleur_ , even if it’s way too early to see Minseok there. After all, Jongdae has a review to send and he needs to focus. He sends a message to Baekhyun ( _r u okay?_ ) but the singer must be very busy and Jongdae isn’t expecting a quick answer. Even if Rolling Stone’s album review normally only has between 150 to 200 words, he wants to do it neatly, because he knows very well Yixing has an _intense_ fanbase.

He’s actually finishing when he gives himself a break and stops to read his messages while drinking a chamomile tea.

 

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** boss haven’t answered my emails all morning

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** can anyone contact him?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I finished a musical review

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** he better answer

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** reporting from office

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I came here to help the interns

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** you can’t talk to him because he’s in a bad mood

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** he’s listening to diva’s sad music

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** staring at the window and sighing

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** he didn’t make a single bad joke today

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** oh, no

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** what if he found out about taemin’s husband???

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I don’t think so

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** He didn’t scream at me yet

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** I bumped into him today at a café

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** he was acting weird…

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** maybe you should have given him a little kiss

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** he would feel better

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** XDDD

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** agree

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** hehehehe

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** ノಠ_ಠノ

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** gimme a break

 

Jongdae is almost eating the straw when he notices that Kyungsoo was talking to him on private; Kyungsoo doesn’t do that often, so he answers it.

 

 **Kyungsoo:** hey, the jedis and the aliens found you

 **Kyungsoo:** few interns were commenting about the picture

 **Kyungsoo:** twitter.com/jedialienalliancenews/status/96992327

 **Kyungsoo:** be careful!

 **Kyungsoo:** boss asked me if you’re dating

 **Jongdae:** you said I was single, right?

 **Kyungsoo:** I told him I ain’t no gossip magazine

 **Jongdae:** poor boss

 

Jongdae sighs when he opens the link and sees that the picture doesn’t show his face. It’s just him and Baekhyun talking in the singer’s club and they’re not the only people there.

 

 **Be strong, Baek**  @jedisline – 6 h

_Baekhyun is seen at the singer’s club with friend._

 

 **I’ll search the universe**  @baekxingwigs – 6 h

Replying to @jedisline

_Who’s this guy? It’s not a hot tall friend :(_

**Xena**  @softjedies – 6 h

Replying to @jedisline

_He’s like… walking around again??? Talking to people!!!_

**bbh’s winter flip flops** @backtomyufo – 6 h

Replying to @jedisline

_He was w/ this guy in like ten fanpics, he replaced his hot tall friend :O_

**yinxingyin**  @1991whatsyouremergency – 6 h

Replying to @jedisline

_He looks skinny…._

**This is an alien only event go home**  @iluvbbhpinkhair – 5 h

Replying to @jedisline

_Baby come back!!!!!!!_

 

Jongdae searches for any fucks to give, but apparently, he doesn’t care if he’s not tall and hot; he’s just a bit worried about being recognized. No picture has his face and Jongdae is pretty normal, there’s no special trait to denounce him.

His juice is over and he waves so the kid (Daniel) can bring him a coffee. Jongdae is almost finishing the article when he can smell his drink (he has to admit he’s… getting addicted). When he turns to smile and thank the boy, it’s not Daniel. It’s Minseok.

“Oh, hello,” Jongdae says, a bit embarrassed. Minseok is looking good as always and he doesn’t look tired today.

“Hello,” he says in his sweet voice. “Your expresso.”

Jongdae takes the coffee off his hand because he’s a dumb man who needs an excuse to touch his crush’s hand. He notices a small paper under the cup.

“What’s…”

“Address, time and name of an event,” Minseok explains, rubbing his hand in his cute apron. “Now that I know you’re into singing I thought you would like to see new bands. I’ll sing with my friends too.”

“Oh,” Jongdae looks at the tiny paper like it’s a divine revelation. Could it be that Minseok is… asking him out?

“You could sing too, if you want,” he smiles. “There’s a lot of bands there that would love a fine vocalist like you.”

“I’m not… I told you I don’t sing,” Jongdae is trying really hard to not get embarrassed. “It was Baekhyun’s idea.”

“Yes, the Idol you told me you didn’t knew anything about,” Minseok rises an eyebrow. “What other secrets are you hiding?”

Okay.

Jongdae is not that stupid. _This_ is flirting.

“I guess you’ll have to find out by yourself,” he winks. Minseok snorts.

“I’ll have to leave because my sister needs me,” he says. “But I’ll see you tomorrow? It’s easy to find the place. There will be good beer.”

“Of course,” Jongdae smiles and waits until Minseok is leaving to mumble. “That’s… what… I’m… trying to get… good beer…”

He looks at his phone.

Nothing happens.

“I guess you don’t know it always, huh, big ears?”

 

 

.

 

 

Jongdae is about to leave _Chaleur_ when Baekhyun calls.

“Hey!”

“ _Hey,_ ” Baekhyun’s voice shows how tired he must be. “ _How are you? Did you finish your work?”_

“Yeah, I sent the review and I researched a bit more,” he says, opening the door and walking in to the street. It’s already dark and cold, but the streets are full of people and lights. Every store has Halloween decoration and Jongdae thinks it looks beautiful. “So, how was today?”

“ _Tiring,_ ” a long sigh can be heard. “ _I’m a mess right now. You don’t have to come here if you don’t want to. I had to re-schedule my doctor appointment and tomorrow I’ll participate in a late-night talk show. I guess only in the weekend I’ll have time to sit down and talk.”_

“I’ll go because now I don’t have a bed, they put my closet over it to have the space to clean,” Jongdae snorts. “But I’m going home so I can pick my scooter.”

“ _Where are you? You drive a scooter?”_

“Yes, I do. It’s actually a Vespa. An Italian Vespa. But everyone calls it a scooter… I’m leaving a café.”

“ _Oh, is that the place with the barista?”_

“Yes. He asked me to go see him singing in a gig!”

Baekhyun laughs in the other side of the line. Jongdae smiles too, because that sound makes him feel good.

“ _Look at you! I guess just blushing is a good way to catch a guy.”_

“Let me live!”

“ _Ah, cute.”_

“What are you doing?” Jongdae says, stopping to wait for a red light. “Watching Netflix again?”

“ _No. Actually, I turned down the internet. I don’t want to see the outside world for a while. Just rest.”_

Jongdae frowns.

“Fine,” he says, trying to change the subject. “What would you buy for a three-year-old boy?”

“ _Huh? Why_?”

“My nephew. His birthday is next week and I want to buy him a gift.”

“ _I would give him my album.”_

“What?” Jongdae laughs. “My bad. Let me reformulate. What would you buy for a three-year-old boy that would make him happy?”

Baekhyun hangs up on him.

Jongdae laughs so hard he almost forget to cross the street. He calls the singer.

“ _What do you want, you asshole?”_

“Sorry!” He’s still laughing. “But I’m serious. I don’t know what to buy.”

“ _Buy a cute plushie. I would say I have some, but I’m done with your ungratefulness!_ ”

“I’ll buy it,” Jongdae softly. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“ _I’m not_ ,” he mumbles. “ _Hey, is your brother older than you_?”

“Yes.”

“ _I have an older brother too and he has kids too. I guess we’re both uncles_.”

“Sad old uncles in their mid-twenties,” Jongdae nods. “I’ll stop by a store here. Don’t sleep too deeply! I’m coming.”

“ _Okay, see you.”_

 Jongdae stops by the same music store he bought the other albums and he buys Taeyeon’s albums too. The girl who helped him before, Sooyoung, recognized him and gave him a stuffed heart keychain. He buys a cute stuffed dinosaur in the near toy store and puts both in a present box. He keeps them at home and he goes to Baekhyun’s house in his good, old scooter. Baekhyun is clearly sleeping deeply so they call Kris to authorize Jongdae to park it inside the garage. Kris also opens the door so Jongdae can come in.

Baekhyun is sleeping over his pillows as always. His legs are spread open and he still has stains in his clothes – Jongdae doesn’t have to inspect to know it’s ice cream.

He puts Baekhyun’s legs in a comfortable position, picks the thick blanket, lay down next to him and covers them both before falling asleep.

 

 

He sleeps well and wakes up with Baekhyun’s regular morning screams. They have ten minutes for breakfast and they eat while dressing – Jongdae helps Baekhyun fit in a skinny jeans that clearly wasn’t made to fit a human’s body. The day schedule is really tight, but Jongdae can record few minutes of talk until Baekhun has to go to the dressing room.

“I think I’m going home,” Jongdae warns him. “I have a few hours before—”

“Hey, I had an idea,” Baekhyun says suddenly. They’re in the backseat and the driver is talking to Kris. “Since you’re already here, why you don’t go with me and get yourself ready? Today I’ll meet my favorite stylist. The make-up artist is also a friend, you’ll like her.”

“What? Get ready for what?”

“Your date.”

“It’s not a date,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I told you. He just invited me.”

“God, why are you so smart, but also so dumb?” Baekhyun makes a face. “At least try to impress him. Stop being straight. Your face ain’t gonna fall if you put some make up.”

“I don’t like that.”

“You look like those fashion girls on Instagram using only pastel, like try something different.”

Jongdae thinks about that for a moment.

“Okay,” he shrugs. “Why not?”

 

 

The answer to this question is Baekhyun’s personal stylist, Jessica. She doesn’t smile or show emotions. While Baekhyun is in another chair, already being prepared, she inspects Jongdae from head to toe.

“A makeover, huh?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun screams from the other side of the room. They’re washing his hair and he can’t see them. “Do whatever you want. He only washes his hair with shampoo and he thinks that perfume is the only beauty accessory.”

“Tsc,” she looks at Jongdae with disgust. “You’re lucky because I’m addicted to challenges.”

He’s being constantly offended, but he doesn’t say a word until they try to cover his eyes with a black tissue.

“Why?” He asks, scared.

Jessica explains dryly, “What’s the point of makeover if you can see what’s happening?”

“Being aware of what you’re doing to me?”

“Irrelevant.”

Jongdae agrees, because at this point what else he can do? They only let him see what’s going on when they are in the middle of doing something to his hair (is wet and burning) and he’s in a room with no mirror.

There’s just a girl looking at him, deeply unimpressed.

“My name’s Krystal, I’m Jessica’s sister,” she says. The lack of emotions runs in family. “I need to know what exactly you’re going to do, so I can choose your clothes.”

There’s two floors of clothes and shoes and Jongdae realizes he’s inside of a giant closet.

“I’m going to see a friend performing.”

“He wants to bang a cool guy and needs to impress him,” Baekhyun screams from nowhere. “Don’t lie to them! They can see into your soul.”

Krystal nods.

“So, which musical genre?”

“I don’t know, something indie?”

“Huh,” she says, disappearing into the closet. When she comes back, she’s carrying a pile of clothes. “Choose one.”

“Can’t I use mine?” Jongdae asks, helping her to put them on the carpet floor.

“Are those yours?” She points to what he’s dressing. “If the answer is yes, no, you can’t.”

Jongdae decides to keep quiet.

“I like this one,” he shows her a sleeveless Rolling Stones’ black shirt. “But they cut too much. I think my nipples will be out when I walk.”

“Let them free,” Baekhyun screams. “They’re pretty nipples!”

“Take these black pants,” she gives him. “I’ll give your shoes when they finish your hair.”

After another hour of washing, drying and styling his hair, Jongdae had to dress himself with his eyes covered, and return to the chair. They allowed him to see again, but not his own reflex; one of Baekhyun’s makeup artists came to finish the job. Bakehyun was nowhere to seen and it was boring as hell to wait them spend all that time sitting down. He couldn’t move or scratch anything.

“Put on your shoes,” she ordered him. “Baekhyun! Your friend is ready!”

“Wait, wait, let me do it,” Baekhyun runs into the room. He’s fully dressed and ready and he’s holding a big mirror. He comes in laughing, but the smile dies in his face when he sees Jongdae.

 _Oh-oh_ , Jongdae thinks. Finally, he looks at the mirror.

They must have heard his “ _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE_ ” from the other side of the town.

“I’m blonde,” Jongdae screams, afraid of touch his own hair. “What the fuck! I’m blonde!”

Baekhyun is still gaping.

“What’s that in my eyes,” he turns his face in the mirror.

“Eyeliner,” Jessica says, bored. “Yes, you’re blonde and you’re looking very attractive. I know this must be shocking for you.”

“How can I go back to my original color hair…” he sighs. “This is too much.”

“You’re looking hot as hell,” Baekhyun screams suddenly. “Goddamn!”

“See?” Krystal points. “Another successful makeover. We should have recorded that.”

“I’m blonde…” Jongdae wants to cry – hypothetically, because deep in his heart, he already accepted he can’t change that. “Why do I listen to you…”

“If this guy doesn’t bang you today,” Baekhyun says angrily. “I will punch him in the face. Now go there and do your job!”

“I can’t go like that!”

“Ah, you don’t trust my opinion?” Baekhyun pouts.

“No,” Jongdae says simply, pointing at his own hair as a point.

“Fine, give me your phone,” Baekhyun extends him hand. Jongdae is so fucked up that he gives Baekhyun the phone and even stay stills while the singer takes a picture of him.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to go back,” Baekhyun says, after typing. “Listen to your friends.”

Jongdae looks at the screen.

 

**Jongdae sent a picture**

**Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** HUIHODLWSGDIHOASDIASODJAIGDAIOIHAD

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** (/ω＼)

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** WTF MY HEART

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** you’re looking fine

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** is this blonde hair real?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** :OOOOOOO

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** you’re looking good

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** never thought I would see you using make up

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I would

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** SDFGHJKLÇDSFGHJKL DEAD

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** 10/10

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** by the way, I sensed your naughty thoughts yesterday.

 

.

 

Jongdae gets out of his scooter before parking. He had to stop it in the street next to the bar, but it was for the best; he didn’t want anyone staring at him while he drove. He forgot his coat and his nipples were exposed every time the wind moved his shirt. He passes by a store next to a bar and buys a leather jacket.

He waits in front of the door for ten minutes before deciding to come in.

He takes a long breath and walks in.

The place is hot as hell. There are over a thousand people by what he can see. Some of them are drinking, sitting down, other groups are standing and there’s a drummer on the small stage on the back, playing by himself. He knows he’s late, but he hopes he hasn’t missed Minseok’s part.

“Jongdae,” a familiar voice calls him. “Hey.”

Jongdae turns back and finds Taemin with a group of friends. He goes to talk to them.

“Hello,” Jongdae says. “Are you working?”

“Yes,” Taemin nods. “I’m doing a review of one of the bands. What are you doing here?”

“I came to see a… friend, Minseok,” Jongdae looks around. “Do you know him?”

“I do,” say one of his friends. He’s using a fishing hat, a mask and sunglasses at night; but Jongdae knows people dresses way weirder at events like these. “He hasn’t performed yet. He’s going to sing with a rock band called the lucky ones.”

Jongdae looks at the guy. He’s familiar… tall, a bit tan and muscular.

“Thank you,” Jongdae says politely. One of Taemin’s friends, Moonkyu, gives him a beer and talks about his band, that helps Jongdae to calm down a bit while he waits for Minseok to appear. Jongdae is fully regretting the whole thing – he just wants to leave, but… he even got blonde for this thing.

Minseok walks on the stage looking like a motherfucking dream. He’s also in a sleeveless shirt and every time he has to clean his sweat, he lifts the shirt and shows a fucking hot ABS. His voice is beautiful and sweet and it’s clear he knows how to dance when he moves his body.

Jongdae drinks three beers to calm down a little. Taemin’s masked friend also seems to be a fan, but not like Jongdae, who’s almost fainting every time Minseok does a body roll. Minseok sings just four songs and then leave the stage. He takes a while to show up, but when he sees Jongdae, he smiles and waves. Jongdae, of course, follows him like a dog.

“Hey, you’re here,” Minseok says, a bit out of breath. He’s sweaty and still flawless. “You’re kind of slippery, I didn’t thought you would come.”

“I’m… what?” He laughs. “I’m the slippery one?”

Minseok laughs too.

“I like your new hair. It really fits you,” he comes closer. The place is getting crowded and they have to talk in the corner. “You look different.”

Jongdae touches it, embarrassed.

“Thank. I’m trying to look as cool as you,” Jongdae winks. “So, you sing in a rock band?”

“Oh, sometimes. I’m not a part of the band. They’re mostly instrumental.”

“You sounded great,” Jongdae says sincerely. “I would’ve come earlier if I knew. My friend from work is here too.”

“Thanks,” Minseok smiles softly and Jongdae is actually regaining control of his face again. “I don’t know, you don’t look like a party person.”

“I’m not,” he smiles. “I’ve never been into a party in college. The first party was like… three years ago. I only went to few concerts too.”

“Really?” Minseok seems amused. “And why?”

“I was dating for a long time with an older girl and she wasn’t into parties. Then, I guess I kinda got used to it. Just work and seeing my family…” Jongdae says and he’s still impressed at how different it is to talk to Minseok out of the café. “Sorry, it sounds boring.”

“No, it sounds cute,” he chuckles. “You’re really sweet. I thought for a long time you were just being polite or gentle, but that’s just the way you are. I like that.”

“Ah,” Jongdae pretends to cover his face. Minseok moves his hands and leans in to kiss him. It’s a brief kiss, more like a statement. Jongdae looks at him, surprised.

“My house is just five minutes from here,” he says, still close. “It’s a better place to talk. My sister is staying at my parent’s house.”

Oh.

Jongdae gulps. “Of course. Just let me get my Vespa.”

“You drive a Vespa…” Minseok snorts. “You honestly can’t get any cuter.”

He didn’t even know it was a pastel pink one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae is awaken by his phone ringtone.

It was a hell of hangover. Not only the beers, but also the wine Minseok gave him while they were sitting, talking and Minseok’s black cat, Luna, was sitting cutely next to Jongdae. Jongdae looks around. Minseok is still sleeping, unaffected by the noise. Jongdae leaves the bed carefully but quickly; walks fast to the living room and answer it.

So weird to be naked like that in someone’s else living room.

“ _I’ve calling you for the last two hours,”_ Chanyeol says. “ _Where the fuck are you?”_

 _“_ Minseok’s house. I had sex,” he informs proudly. He has this right, after all this time. “What happened?”

“ _Well, first, congratulations. I can say in this moment that I envy you,”_ Chanyeol sighs loudly. _“Second, Boss wants us to meet tonight at his apartment.”_

“Why?”

“ _Ah, you don’t know. But you’ll find out soon. I can’t talk about that because I’m in the emergency right now because of that.”_

“What? You’re in a hospital?” Jongdae asks worried. Luna jumps from the window to the couch.

“ _Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just meet the team at Red Flavor, 6pm_.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“ _Yes, I’ll be there too.”_

“Okay, man. Get well.”

Jongdae finds his clothes on the way to the room and dresses himself. He discards the condoms that were on the floor, cleans what he can (Minseok’s house seems to be straight out of a disinfectant ad) and writes a tiny note in one of his post-its (he has post its, Jongdae can feel the strong Virgo vibes) informing his phone number inside of a heart.

He takes a look at Minseok sleeping, pets Luna one last time and leaves quietly.

He checks his messages and unsurprisingly, Baekhyun sent him dozen of _PLEASE TALK TO ME!_

 

 **Superb:** Jongdae

 **Superb:** I don’t know where you are

 **Superb:** but fuck, man

 **Superb:** something amazing happened

 **Superb:** I’m waiting so we can watch together

 **Superb:** I’m coming home because I’ll do my massage today

 **Superb:** PLEASE TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **Jongdae:** I’M COMING

Jongdae gets in Baekhyun’s house in half an hour; Kris opens the door for him again. Baekhyun is being massaged by two people. A lady is pressing his throat and a young guy in massaging his leg.

“Hey,” Jongdae says, but he obviously expects no answer. “I’ll take a bath.”

Jongdae has the time of his day while showering, he’s really sore; he didn’t had hours of physical exercise in a long, long time. He wasn’t a ready to an active person like Minseok. When he leaves the shower, fresh and content, Baekhyun is laying down in the front of his laptop with two big sacs of popcorn.

“Isn’t too early for Netflix?”

“It’s not Netflix, it’s better,” Baekhyun taps softly the pillow next to him. “You don’t know what’s going on, right?”

“No…?” Jongdae sits down, grabbing a sack. “Is this mine?”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes.

“You made a face.”

“Huh?” Jongdae asks, confused.

“You made a weird face when you sat down.”

“And…?”

“Did you spent your last night taking a dick in your ass?” Baekhyun asks, eyes still narrowed, leaning into Jongdae’s personal space. “Huh, did you?”

“No…” Jongdae tries to snort, but Baekhyun isn’t convinced. “… maybe…”

“Fuck,” he screams, then he holds his throat. “Lucky you, boy. I didn’t touch a dick in years. Don’t be afraid to tell me stuff.”

“Okay.”

“Seriously. It’s completely fine to want to sit in a dick once in a while, you see?”

“Okay! Fine,” Jongdae says loud. “Now, please tell me what’s going on.”

Baekhyun trades the bags and rise a finger.

“You’re lucky that I’m really excited to see this video,” Baekhyun says, clicking the start. “Otherwise I would ask for every sordid detail.”

Jongdae ignores him when a video in Youtube starts.

“ _Hello, I’m Hyoyeon and this is our urgent video on the KAI situation_ ,” she’s a blonde, skinny and funny looking girl. “ _If you guys accessed our latest news, you must know that today, midnight, a fansite released what we think it’s a sex tape featuring Kim Jongin, one of the biggest artist of the country._ ”

Jongdae gapes and Baekhyun seizes the opportunity to shove popcorn in the journalist’s mouth. Jongdae munches it.

“ _The video reached twitter world trend topics and ‘Kai sex tape’ became the most searched subject on google. Kai’s management haven’t pronounced yet about the video or if it’s real. After twelve hours, netizens seem to only talk about this topic and everything is uncertain until this moment_ ,” She moves and the camera accompanies her. “ _The most problematic point in his situation is that the video shows two_ men _during… sexual activities, what can be a headache to a popular rapper like him_.”

“Oh my god,” Jongdae whisper. “Do you have the video?”

“Of fucking course,” Baekhyun laughs, excited. “I waited until you came here so we can watch together.”

He gets out of Youtube to go to a porn site and Jongdae feels like he’s thirteen old again. The video has one million visualizations and the name is **KAI GAY SEX TAPE!!!**

“I’ve waited for so long…” Baekhyun mumbles.

“To see him exposed?” Jongdae asks, confused.

“Can you let me be a horrible person for a moment and enjoy this?”

“Okay.”

Baekhyun presses play.

It’s a dark room and the only thing visible is the shoulder’s and a part of a man’s back – besides the date in white numbers on the corner, indicating that the video was filmed in 2016. He’s facing the mattress and the camera is static, filming him from a place by his side; he’s moving and making noises. It sounds like Kai’s voice, but you can definitely see it’s him when he gets up on his elbows and let his head falls, allowing the camera to film part of his face - his lips and his jaw, including the well-defined tan biceps.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he whispers, trembling. A hand and an arm are seen now, and this other person grabs a handful of his hair and pushes it, forcing Kai’s head to go back. He makes a long, long noise and even if they can see what’s going on, it’s clear that he reached the climax.

_It’s fucking hot._

“I hate him,” Baekhyun says.

“What’s that in your pants, then,” Jongdae snorts.

“Well, I’m only a human,” he says. “How can someone can look hot in moments like this?”

“I guess it’s a talent, but—” Jongdae is interrupted by the voice in the video dirty talking. He knows this voice. When the guy bends to give Kai’s back a small kiss, Jongdae recognizes the lips. “It’s Kyungsoo!”

“What?” Baekhyun asks, shocked.

“It’s Kyungsoo!” Jongdae points to the laptop, exasperated. “The guy fucking him it’s Kyungsoo!”

“Noooo,” Baekhyun screams. “I can’t even look at _one_ fucking ass and this asshole has to take this away from me!”

“This is from 2016,” Jongdae tries to breath. The video ends. “I didn’t know him back then. I met him last year. And he was dating someone else…”

“That’s all?” Baekhyun checks the video. “Only a minute… This is disappointing. I want to see everything!”

They stay sitting down, just trying to digest what just happened.

“I can’t believe this. Taemin is catholic and married and Kyungsoo has an exposed sex tape,” Jongdae breathes out. “This is some crazy shit.”

“Sometimes we read people wrongly,” Baekhyun shrugs. “So, tell me, how was the fuck?”

Jongdae blinks. He has to forget the last minutes and focus on what happened last night.

“It was nice,” he says.

“Nice…?” Baekhyun frowns, eating popcorn.

“Yes. It was good,” Jongdae smiles, confused. “He’s nice too. Very talented with his fingers.”

Baekhyun is still frowning, chewing and staring at him, disgusted.

“What?”

“It’s just,” the singer makes a face. “If I fucked someone and they said… it was “nice”, I would die.”

“Nice is good.”

“No, nice means: I had an orgasm. Nice means regular sex between couples.”

“And…?”

“That’s a bit disappointing, no? He was your crush, not any guy. What about ‘incredible’, ‘breathtaking’ or ‘lifechanging’?”

Jongdae sighs. He scratches his neck.

“It wasn’t lifechanging,” Jongdae says. “But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. Sex is just another type of biological need. I wanted sex and I got sex?”

“That’s sad.”

“Maybe…” He tries and Baekhyun seems to be staring at his soul, too curious. “He was a crush. I wasn’t in love with him. So, for me was like… kind of destroying the projections and dealing with reality. But it wasn’t in a bad way. It was really nice.”

“I understand,” Baekhyun nods. “Sometimes we want things for so long that when that happens… it’s kind of how life is… just… normal.”

“Exactly,” Jongdae nods. “I don’t know. I don’t really believe things will be like in the movies.”

“They aren’t like in the movies,” Baekhyun says, munching and spitting popcorn. “Sometimes they are better.”

“I don’t think so,” Jongdae grabs popcorn too. “Maybe it’s just the pressure of the capitalism to make us feel like we’re not living the fullest and we must spend our money to consume things that validate our existence and bring some satisfaction but not enough to stop us to consuming it uninterruptedly. Like drugs.”

“You said a lot of big words,” Baekhyun complains. “Did you just compare love and sex to drugs?”

“No. I compared the… never mind,” he sighs. “Well, now I know why Boss wants to meet us. He must be freaking out. If he didn’t find about Taemin yet…”

“Do you have a meeting? Today isn’t a workday.”

“I know, but it’s urgent. Chanyeol called me from a hospital and everything. I’ll meet the guys on Red Flavor.”

“Fuck,” Baekhyun screeches. “Can I go with you?”

“No,” Jongdae slaps his leg. “No way. You can’t eat ice-cream and I’ll be on a meeting. I’ll be busy.”

“I need to read the scripts. I can’t work in silence. But I can’t work in public spaces like you do…” Baekhyun sighs. “I’ll be quiet, hidden on a corner. No one will see me.”

“No. Last time I agreed with you, I ended up blonde.”

“And you got laid,” Baekhyun crosses his arms, defiant.

Well. He got Jongdae there.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is sitting quietly and pretty, talking to Yoona, both casually dressed like people in their free days. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem worried at all, looking by what Jongdae can see through the glass door.

“Go,” he says to Baekhyun. “Sit on the corner, keep the mask on and if I see you eating ice-cream, I’ll call Kris.”

Baekhyun is inside of a giant jumper, just holding his papers. He nods.

“You don’t have to—”

“Shhhh,” Jongdae rises a finger. “Also, no talking. Go.”

Baekhyun nods and walks easily by the table where Jongdae’s co-workers are; they didn’t notice the singer. Yeri does notice Baekhyun, but she just shakes her head tiredly. Jongdae waits a bit before coming in and that’s how he sees the giant black thing waling to him. Chanyeol is dressed like Baekhyun, mask and everything. Jongdae walks to him.

“Hey, man,” Jongdae grabs his arm and rubs it gently. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Chanyeol says, pushing the mask down. He looks normal. “I’m better now. But it hurt like a bitch.”

“Oh,” Jongdae frowns. “Because you saw Kyungsoo with someone else?”

Chanyeol stares at him and then gets really close to his face.

“Did you watch the video, Jongdae?”

“Yes…?”

“Look, I’ve watch it,” he says angrily. “And my dick got hard. And that shit didn’t get down.”

He grabs Jongdae’s shirt and pull it.

“My dick was purple,” he says serious. “My dick was purple because it wasn’t coming down.”

“Oh my god,” Jongdae mumbles.

“They used a giant syringe to take the blood out of it,” Chanyeol keeps saying seriously. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about it, Jongdae. I want Kyungsoo push my hair back while he fucks me. That video _ruined_ my life.”

“Calm down…” Jongdae says, but he knows Chanyeol hasn’t calmed down not even for a minute in his life.

“I’m trying,” he says, letting Jongdae go. “I took two pills for that.”

“Good,” Jongdae says. “Will you behave when we get in?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol nods.

“Nice,” Jongdae opens the door. Chanyeol does _behave_ , but he sits next to Yoona and avoids physical contact with Kyungsoo. They do small talk. Kyungsoo says he’s not particularly worried; Jongdae understands that a person like him won’t be affected by a sex video, but his calmness is a bit weird. Yoona tells how the Boss reacted, breaking one of his favorite mugs.

Taemin appears after half an hour. He’s like any other day, but he’s not alone. Jongdae and the rest of the table, ready to greet him with mockery, gets quiet as soon as they realize there’s someone with him. For a moment, Jongdae almost believes he brought his husband right there. But it’s not him.

It’s Kai.

Jongdae can hear Baekhyun’s weird noise from the corner.

“Hello everyone,” Taemin is smiling as ever. “I don’t know if some of you know my old friend, Jongin.”

Kai, or better, Jongin, is as beautiful as he looks in photoshop pictures. He’s tall, shining hair, perfect face and he’s not overdressed, but he still looks like a model. He’s holding a tiny white poodle in his arms like a baby.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” Yoona says politely. Chanyeol just bows. Jongin imitates him. Kyungsoo is in his statue mode.

“Can… I talk to you for a minute?” Jongin says to Kyungsoo. The dog in his arms seem to recognize Kyungsoo and tries to jump from his arms. Jongin holds him tighter.

“About what?” Kyungsoo asks dryly.

“Obviously, about the video incident,” Jongin says, frustrated. “I… have to explain myself. Can you stop being a jerk for a minute?”

The entire table is in silence, caught in the middle of an ex-lover’s bickering. Jongdae is hundred percent certain Baekhyun isn’t reading his script.

“You can explain,” Kyungsoo says. “But since you made this a public subject, I don’t see why you need to explain privately.”

Jongin seems to be containing his anger. He takes a long breath and licks his lips.

“I did not upload the video,” he says slowly, looking down. “It was leaked. My old dropbox account was invaded.”

“Sorry for that,” Jongdae whispers.

“I deleted everything else,” Jongin explains. “I only had this one and that where you… ate… sushi. They didn’t leak it.”

Chanyeol is about to cry, “I’m going back to the hospital.”

The dog finally escapes his arms and jumps to the ground. He runs to Kyungsoo’s legs and tries to jump to his lap. Jongin stops the tiny dog, capturing him again.

“No, bobo, bad dog,” he says, angry, lifting the dog in his arms. “He’s not your dad anymore.”

“Let me—” Kyungsoo tries to say.

“No, sorry for bothering you. My team will remove the video from the internet,” Jongin says, turning back. “Sorry for any problem it must have caused.”

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo says softly. “I’m worried about you—”

“Don’t have to,” he says, and he walks away. “I’ll call you later, Taemin. Bye everyone. Nice to meet you.”

Jongdae is gaping. Honestly… when he’s going to have a quiet evening like he used to? As soon as Kai leaves, everyone stares at Kyungsoo.

“It’s an old story. Case closed,” he sighs. “That’s all I have to say.”

“You’re so boring,” Yoona complains. “I’ll eat an ice-cream.”

“Well, he wanted to explain,” Taemin says. “I guess we’re out of surprises for now.”

“I hope so,” Kyungsoo says. He looks a bit sad. “Boss must be convinced it’s a personal thing by now.”

“Maybe it is,” Chanyeol says, leaning in his chair. Jongdae looks at him, but his eyes follow the guy leaving the store. He looks at the corner and the place where Baekhyun was sitting down was empty. He sees the singer running to the other side of the glass door.

“Fuck,” Jongdae stands up. “Tell Boss I can’t go, I have one important thing to do right now.”

“What?” Chanyeol asks. “You can’t leave! He loves you! You’re going to save us!”

“Tell him I think he’s cute,” Jongdae screams before leaving.

To chase Baekhyun while he’s running back home is what makes Jongdae reevaluates his life choices. One or two people look at them like they’re crazy, which is only partially misunderstood.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jongdae finally says when they reach Baekhyun’s building.

“Do you have your vesva, vesta, vespa, I don’t know, your scooter?” Baekhyun asks, waving so someone let him in. “I need to chase him.”

“What? You’re chasing Kai?” Jongdae is too confused to argue. “But why?”

“Just give me your thing,” he says, pushing his mask down. “I’ll explain later. I can’t drive my car without Kris finding out.”

“I won’t let you drive my scooter,” Jongdae says. “I would drive you, but you don’t even know where you’re going.”

“What about your meeting?” Baekhyun asks.

“I don’t mind,” Jongdae gulps. “I just don’t want you doing crazy shit by yourself.”

“I know where my nemesis is,” Baekhyun winks. “I’ll catch him.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You don’t have to grope me,” Jongdae screeches. “Just hold tight!”

“Listen,” Baekhyun almost screams in his ear. “This is a very odd transportation method!”

“You were the one who asked for it,” Jongdae complains. It’s hard to pay attention to the road when Baekhyun’s dick is pressed against his ass. “Give me the directions!”

“KFC Drive thru, to the left,” he points with his arm for second before hugging Jongdae again. “You don’t have to stop if we don’t see his car. It’s a baby blue Lamborghini.”

Jongdae does as he is told. His phone is vibrating in his pocket, but there’s nothing he can do.

“There! There,” Baekhyun points. Jongdae can’t see, because he’s focused in fitting between two cars, and car people hate anything that doesn’t look like a car.

“Do I stop or I follow him?” Jongdae screams back. He needs to zigzags the cars if he wants to leave the Drive thru line and he knows no one will be happy about it.

“He’s stopping the car,” Baekhyun breathes out. “In that corner…? Why…?”

“Where…?”

“The dark alley, turn right in the end of the line.”

Jongdae ends up hearing few bad words, but he leaves the drive thru in a record time. Baekhyun guides him to a small street with houses, not very far from they were. It’s easy to spot the Lamborghini, once they’re get there.

“What do I do now?”

“Stop,” Baekhyun says and he jumps before Jongdae can even park completely. He looks at the car and tries to see what’s inside by smashing his face against the window.

“Can you please not—” Jongdae jumps off his scooter and hears a noise. “Shhhh!”

Baekhyun looks at him. It’s a bark. When the singer realizes that, he follows the sound. Jongdae follows him, because he walks in a dark tiny alley. Jongdae turns on his phone’s flashlight. They walk just few steps when the see a dog. It’s the white poodle. Jongdae moves the spotlight and Baekhyun screams.

“Take this light away from my face,” Jongin complains, rising his hand. He’s sitting on the ground, with a bucket of KFC between his legs.

“What the fuck are you doing there?” Baekhyun clutches his chest. “You look like a wild racoon!”

“Leave me alone,” Jongin sniffs and bites a piece of a fried chicken. “I’m not in the mood for your dumb fighting today, okay? I’m not fine…”

Jongdae moves the light to Baekhyun’s face. He’s sighing, worried.

“Come on,” Baekhyun kneels on the ground. “You gotta leave this place.”

“No,” Jongin grunts.

“You know people can come and find you here, right?” Baekhyun says softly. “You don’t want a mob taking pictures of you right now, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” he pouts.

“Okay, so get up,” Baekhyun holds the bucket and taps Jongin’s leg. “Pick your dog. Let’s go.”

“Where?” Jongin sniffs again.

“To my house,” Baekhyun turns to Jongdae and makes a face when he has to look in the light. “Follow us with your vesba.”

“Vespa.”

“Whatever.”

 

 

Kris is already waiting for Baekhyun at the door, but he sees who’s with them, and seems too impressed to question anything. When they get home, Baekhyun asks Jongdae to get them tea. Jongdae makes chamomile tea and brings to them in huge mugs. Baekhyun puts Jongin in his pillow fort and covers him with a thick blanket. Jongin holds his knees like a kid.

“Here,” Jongdae gives him the tea.

“Thank you,” Jongin says, sniffing. Baekhyun side hugs him until the rapper lays on him.

“Ok, I guess no more fried chicken for you,” he points with his chin and Jongdae takes the bucket away from the room. Jongin’s dog follow him and Jongdae picks him in his arms.

“I shouldn’t eat that,” Jongin sniffs again. “But every time I get stressed I eat something I shouldn’t…”

“I know,” Baekhyun says softly, petting his brown, shiny hair. “That’s fine. This is my friend Jongdae. He’s a journalist, but a nice one.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jongdae bows. “Your dog is really cute.”

“His name is bobo,” Jongin smiles. “I know you. I talked to you yesterday.”

Oh. _Of course_. Taemin’s friend.

“I remember you…” Jongdae mumbles. He can’t be very surprised, after all. If he paid more attention, he would see it was Kai. Jongin sips a bit of his tea and Baekhyun is passing his fingers softly on the rapper’s hair. It’s so cute that Jongdae feels something punching his stomach.

“You’re being too nice to me…” Jongin mumbles.

“Well, I couldn’t let you in that place, could I?” Baekhyun says angrily, like a mother. “What the hell were you doing there?”

“I just wanted to cry…” Jongin says. “I’m so tired and this video was… this was my fault. I should’ve erased it a long time ago. I’m so stupid…”

“You’re not,” Baekhyun says simply. “Sometimes we want to keep memories.”

“That doesn’t matter,” he says softly. Jongdae’s heart was hurting to see such a strong-looking guy looking so fragile. “He doesn’t care. Why is it so hard to move on for me…? It was a long time ago and I’m still… I think it’ll be fine, but when I see him I feel so bad about myself… so bad…”

Baekhyun stays in silence, just rubbing his shoulders. Jongin drinks his tea and bites his lip.

“I wish I could forget everything so it doesn’t hurt anymore…”

“That isn’t true,” Baekhyun finally says. “You kept the video because you wanted to remember the good times. You just want to forget that it didn’t end up well. And this is worse… sometimes you have to let things hurt until they can’t hurt anymore. It’s okay to cry and feel like a mess.”

Jongin drops the mug and hugs Baekhyun. When he starts to cry, Baekhyun rubs his back.

“You’re feeling bad about yourself because you think this is your fault… and it isn’t. Relationships ends, people move on, that happens. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure,” Baekhyun’s voice is soft and soothing. “You’ll have your entire life to fall in love with other people and to live great things. I know it feels like you’ll never find someone to love as much as you did, but you will.”

Jongdae is hypnotized by scene; Baekhyun’s glowing and he can’t just… look. It feels like he’s invading, that he’s witnessing something too personal. Jongdae leaves quietly, holding bobo in his arms.

He sits by the balcony and pets the dog.

Jongdae can’t say he felt like that, ever. His relationship ended in a mutual agreement and it wasn’t too sad. It felt like it was the right thing to do and somehow, it felt like a relief. He has no idea of how it would be to love someone and allow it to take control of your life at this point. He knows people do crazy things for love, but it sounds unreal…

“Do you get me, bobo?” Jongdae whispers to the dog. Bobo licks his hand.

 

 

 

 

Jongin’s manager comes to pick him few hours later; he’s taking a nap on the pillow fort. Baekhyun takes him to the door and gives him a funny plushie. Jongin gives the plushie to bobo and smiles.

“Thanks for taking care of me.”

“That’s only for today,” Baekhyun says, crossing his arms. “Tomorrow I’ll destroy you again.”

“With those jelly muscles?” Jongin rises an eyebrow. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Get your perfect defined body out of my house,” Baekhyun says, fake-mad. “And this stupidly cute dog too.”

“Bye,” Jongin laughs. When Baekhyun closes the door, he lets out a breath.

“Who am I kidding, I love him,” he shakes his head. “I would adopt him and kill anyone who harmed him with my bare hands.”

“Too early to admit defeat, softie,” Jongdae sits on the couch. Baekhyun’s living room is a mess, but at least it’s not smelling like fried chicken. “He used cuteness and it was super effective.”

Baekhyun snorts. He walks to the couch but sits on Jongdae’s lap.

“You look tired,” Baekhyun says, passing his fingers through Jongdae’s hair. “Like, real tired.”

“I want to sleep,” Jongdae says, looking up. It’s nice to be petted. “If possible, on my bed. Or in any bed. Not that I don’t like your pillow thing, but.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem to be paying any attention – he’s looking at Jongdae, but his eyes are… unfocused.

“Hey,” Jongdae says.

“Uhn,” Baekhyun blinks, suddenly standing up, like he was burned. “I… I can fix that. I do have a nice bed, but I would have to do something crazy so we get to sleep on it.”

“Another one?”

“Yup,” Baekhyun shakes his head slowly. “Real crazy. But lucky for you, I’m used to do crazy things.”

 

.

 

 

Jongdae _was doing_ crazy things lately, but he’s starting to think this time he’s slowly becoming a criminal.

Baekhyun invaded Kris’ apartment, took the car keys, put food, clothes & documents in the car and took Jongdae with him. Jongdae didn’t ask questions. He’s being driven away. He doesn’t know where.

“It’s been an hour,” Jongdae says. “Can you tell me now where we are going… or…”

“Nope,” Baekhyun says, licking his lips. He’s listening to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie and he’s half driving and half dancing. “Calm down. I’m not kidnapping you.”

“Is your manager going to kill us?”

“Probably not. I left him a note and I promise I would be home in two days, so…” Baekhyun shrugs. “He knew I was going to run away sooner or later, at least this time I’m telling him where, when and everything.”

“You run away often?” Jongdae grabs his phone.

“Not really. Once in a while.”

 

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Jongdae, just for you know, Boss didn’t kill us

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** he accepted calmly

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** he got a bit happy when we told him you find him cute

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I’ll use that technique more often

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** also, guys, please don’t forget the deadline

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I’ll send my article tomorrow

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** I can help anyone after that

 

“Fuck,” Jongdae mumbles. “We need to do the interview today.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun glances at him. “We got time.”

“You say that before.”

“I’m glad you didn’t record much, actually,” he says, staring at the road. “I was… _insincere_.”

“You mean you lied?”

“No,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t lying. I was just hiding stuff.”

“Like what?”

“In December it’ll make ten years I signed my contract with SME,” he says calmly. “I won’t do it again. I’ll leave.”

Jongdae turns to him slowly. There’s almost no other car with them and it’s silent, now, the music has stopped.

“You’ll go to another management?”

“No. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. Maybe travel.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun smiles. “But it’s a secret. You can’t tell.”

“I wouldn’t. People would kill me,” Jongdae thinks about Baekhyun’s fanbase. “Why?”

“I’m not happy,” he says slowly. “It’s not because of the divorce. It’s because I don’t feel like I’m living my life. I feel like a clown. I can’t say what I want about anything. I don’t have control about any detail in my life. Seems like my purpose is to kill my identity to make other people happy.”

Jongdae skips a breath. There’s something in Baekhyun’s tone…

“I wasn’t lying when I told you about Yixing. But I haven’t told you I had a depressive episode when he left. He got better and better and I was in a hell. I regret not telling him I loved him. Then I started dating and I was okay for a while. I remember my twenty-first birthday… I was truly happy. But love isn’t all we need. We need to feel like… I need to find myself. You won’t find this in anyone else. Or in a career. Or…” Baekhyun snorts. “Like that capitalist stuff you said before. I got that.”

“I see…” Jongdae nods.

“I’m sorry if I’m just… lashing out things on you,” Baekhyun sighs. “I felt like you would understand.”

“I do,” Jongdae nods. “I really do.”

“Yeah? You don’t look like you’re annoyed with any aspect of your life.”

“I’m annoyed by my whole life,” Jongdae sighs. “I pay for a nice apartment and every single biblical Egypt plague appears on it, I work for the biggest music magazine of the world, but they don’t give me the articles I want, I waited for like months to have sex and I’m very aware that normal people just go out and get laid… and a crazy Idol just kidnapped me. Also, I’m fucking blonde! My mother will have a heart attack when she sees me.”

“You look hot.”

“Ah,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I wish I was one of this people who just… fights… I can’t use my voice right. I only know how to scream incoherent things.”

“I’ve been listening to you and I think you sound amazing?” Baekhyun frowns. “Like, you really know how to express yourself.”

“Well, I can do it with you. It’s different.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Jondae really doesn’t know.

“I’ll put Mariah Carey so you can feel better,” Baekhyun says. Jongdae just watches him. He’s… Since this whole thing started, Jongdae can’t complain about his life being a bit too mourn. Everything is chaotic and a crazy mess because of Baekhyun. Maybe it’s because of that. Maybe Baekhyun just obligated Jongdae to leave his comfort zone. He watches how Baekhyun sings dramatically ‘I Still Believe’ and just… Maybe they’re really friends. Maybe…

“Hey, we’re here,” Baekhyun says; they’re crossing a fancy gate. The man controlling the enter just had to look at Baekhyun to identify the car. “Just five more minutes.”

“Is it a village?” He asks slowly, still watching Baekhyun. He parks perfectly.

“Tan daaaaaan!” he says, pointing. “This is my beach house!”

Jongdae gets out of the car and take a look. It’s a nice house, but kind of simple. Beautiful, of course, all white with black and grey details; it has two floors and a cute little garden.

“Nice…” he whispers. He doesn’t understand why people would fight so much over a regular house. Baekhyun is taking the things out of the car and Jongdae helps him. He plays with the keys while he’s walking.

“I want to spend at least a night here,” Baekhyun sighs. “Then I’ll give it to her. I can’t… there’s no reason for us to fight over this anymore…”

Jongdae just looks around. Everything is silent.

“I don’t think I ever used this key,” he opens the door. “Well, it works.”

The house isn’t empty; it has more furniture and decoration than Baekhyun’s apartment. It’s dusty and dark, but still pretty inside.

“Did you like it?” Baekhyun smiles for a moment, then frowns. “You’re so quiet, what happened?”

Jongdae looks at him. Baekhyun is just like any other day. His hair is messy, he has no make-up on and he’s using a big, baggy shirt.

Yet, Jongdae’s heart is beating desperately in his chest like he’s about to die.

_Oh-oh._

“I…” he tries to say, but he realizes… he just wants to kiss him. He grabs Baekhyun’s shoulder and pulls him. Baekhyun is definitely confused for a moment, but as soon as he gets what going on, he kisses Jongdae back.

It felt like their first kiss, but now Jongdae isn’t confused, just horny. He pushes Baekhyun’s t-shirt up and takes it off, just stop touching for a second before kissing again. Baekhyun grabs his pants and opens it easily. He’s way more impatient now, and he stops kissing to bend and grab Jongdae’s legs, pulling him up.

There’s a loud thump when they hit the wall; Jongdae’s back hurts, but he doesn’t mind. He pull’s Baekhyun’s hair and kisses him again, this time biting his lips.

Baekhyun makes a strangled noise, a bit angrily and Jongdae breaks the kiss.

“Are you sure you want to this,” Baekhyun says and he taking deep breathes. “I’m a flexible dude and I used to train like ten hours a day, oldie.”

“Fuck you,” Jongdae snorts. “I’m not afraid.”

“You asked for it,” he presses his body harder against Jongdae, waving his hips. “Don’t complain tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae is awakened by his phone ringtone. He rolls out of bed, almost falling in the floor, but stands up quickly. His entire body is sore. He just walks until he finds his phone under a shirt. He picks it and checks the messages.

 

 **unknown number:** Hello, Jongdae. Your house is free of rats! But unfortunately, people broke few things while cleaning and fixing the room. They broke your bed and few series DVDs. Don’t worry! We are replacing everything, but it will take few days :( Sehun sent a kiss! Bye!  

 

 **unknown number:** Hi, it’s Minseok. I’m sending this so you can save my number ;) Are you doing anything tonight?  

 

 

 **Chanyeol:** just so you know

 **Chanyeol:** Boss found out about Taemin’s status

 **Chanyeol:** he was like: “what’s next??? Jongdae is having an affair with Baekhyun??”

 **Chanyeol:** LOL

 

 **Kyungsoo:** The interns kindly warned me that the jedis now know who you are.

 

“Come back to bed,” Baekhyun complains, loud. “It’s fucking cold. Not the best idea to visit beach houses in October, I must say…”

 

Jongdae sighs, pressing his temples. That’s it. The time has come.

 

He’s about to freak out.

 

 

 


	4. tell me what you need cuz I love you mo’

 

 

 

.

 

Jongdae walks back just to stand at the door. Baekhyun pushes his body up, standing on his elbows – his hair is a mess, his face is swollen and he has a dozen visible hickeys on his neck and chest.

“Can you excuse me for a second,” Jongdae asks politely. Baekhyun makes a face.

“Of course, man,” he mumbles, sitting up. “Is something wrong?”

Jongdae doesn’t answer. He walks quietly to outside of the house. It’s raining and when he steps out of the cute carpet saying ‘welcome!’, it rains stronger. Jongdae looks up, letting the water washes his face and hair, rises one arm to the cloudy sky and…

Scream.

It’s sounds inhumane. It’s a scream that makes few birds scream and fly, even with the rain. He screams until he can’t anymore, and that’s a lot. When he stops, he takes a long breath, letting his arm fall.

 As a revenge, the sky makes a louder noise and hits a tree near the house. More birds fly away and Jongdae jumps, scared.

“Damn,” Baekhyun says. Jongdae turns back and catches him naked, at the door, crossed arms. “So much anger that you summoned a lightning. That’s a real drama. Can’t call you straight anymore. I mean, not that my dick in your mouth haven’t denounced you, but… calling a natural phenomenon by screaming is way doper.”

“Maybe I’m a x-man,” Jongdae says, looking around. A part of tree is burning, but it’s just few leaves; the rain will end it. The poor tree is marked black.

He’s not even surprised, at this point.

“Yeah, why are you mad, now?” Baekhyun walks out in the rain. “You’re all wet.”

“They broke my grey’s anatomy _dvd_ s, my bed and now your fans know me,” Jongdae says, accepting Baekhyun’s back hug easily.

“Ah, I see. They hurt Meredith, and that’s crossing the line,” Baekhyun laughs in his ear. “Of course, the jedis would find you. They’re jedis! Nothing in the galaxy could stop them. That’s not bad.”

“It isn’t?” Jongdae throws his head back, leaning on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Why?”

“First, because it was impossible to hide,” Baekhyun laughs. “My fans are crazy. They are _my_ fans, after all. We’re all crazy here. Also, we’re not doing anything wrong. They would find out about the interview anyway.”

“Fine,” Jongdae gulps. “I’m still mad.”

“Good,” Baekhyun pushes him away, gently. “Let’s go inside and then use all this anger.”

“For what?” Jongdae chuckles.

“Ah, you’ll see,” Baekhyun grabs his hand and guides him inside.

 

 

 

 

The doorbell rings.

No surprises. The security guy on the gate had called to warn that the delivery has arrived. Baekhyun answered the warning call like he ordered the pizza, with his dick still inside of Jongdae’s ass.

“We have to open the door,” Jongdae slaps his ear. “Are you a rabbit or what?”

Baekhyun groans something inaudible.

“He can wait five minutes,” he mumbles. “I’ll give him a nice tip.”

Baekhyun does finish his job in five minutes, but delivery guy’s face made it clear that they weren’t so… quiet. Jongdae not only screeched like a dying pig, but he also grabbed the nightstand in an attempt to hold anything and threw the bottles and the glasses on the floor. It was a mess.

“Hello,” Baekhyun smiles, holding a towel against his body to cover his reproductive parts. “Pepperoni and _quatre formaggi_ , no onions, double cheese?”

“Yes,” the poor guy says, staring at him shocked. “Also, your soda.”

“Thank you very much,” Jongdae is the one to pick the boxes, since he actually grabbed shorts to wear. “I’m sorry if we made you wait.”

“No problem,” the guy mumbles. “The next delivery is also around here. It’s for Red Velvet. Only famous people live here?”

“Basically,” Baekhyun put few bills on his hand. “Be careful with them. They hate men! Bye!”

He closes the door and laughs hard.

“Ah,” Jongdae complains. “We will take a bath before, right?”

“Don’t come at me with your Virgo shenanigans again!”

“I don’t let you buy ice-cream because you can’t eat ice-cream,” Jongdae sighs. “It wasn’t because it wasn’t the right meal.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun crosses his arms. The towel falls on the ground. “If we get on the bath, we will have to fuck again.”

“No,” Jongdae says. “I’m tired.”

“Ah. I can’t eat ice-cream, I can’t eat your ass,” he complains, walking to the kitchen. “At least I can eat my pizza while I’m stinking.”

Jongdae laughs and follows him. They sit on the table and Baekhyun drops almost the entire bottle of ketchup on his pizza. Baekhyun’s phone ring and, even if he’s ignoring most calls since they got on the beach house, he answers it.

“Hey, devil,” he says. “Yeah. Yeah. Can I? You never invite me because I’m hotter than you. No. Fuck you. I’m going.”

He hangs up and puts an entire slice of pizza on his mouth.

“Calm down,” Jongdae complains. “You need to chew.”

“When it’s your nephew’s bday?” Baekhyun asks, munching. “We have a party to attend tomorrow.”

“It’s on the end of the week,” Jongdae pours soda on a glass. He stares at the wall of the living room, the only he can see from the kitchen. “No offense, but why there are paintings of naked butts around?”

“Taeyeon is obsessed with butts,” Baekhyun steals Jongdae’s soda. “Can you see the one in a red frame? It’s mine.”

Jongdae pushes the chair back and sees it.

“You have your own naked butt on your living room?” Jongdae blinks.

“It wasn’t me, but I have to defend my evil ex-wife, what’s the point of having money if you can’t have butt paints on your house?” Baekhyun almost whines. “My butt is art.”

“Fine, fine,” Jongdae raises his hands. “It’s art! Hey, what else you have here? Do you know or…?”

“I only came here years ago,” he says. “But at that time, we could find snakes on the back garden, behind the poolside. Wanna see if we can find them?”

That wasn’t what Jongdae was looking for, but what he can do? They take a bath and change to comfortable clothes. The rain has stopped, but it’s still chill outside. Jongdae makes Baekhyun put on shoes and Baekhyun gives him a long wood stick.

“For what?” Jongdae holds it and moves like he’s practicing martial arts.

“If you see a snake, you push it away with this,” Baekhyun says.

The back garden is beautiful and… wild-looking. It was probably the only part that wasn’t well-kept; there were tall plants and the trees weren’t trimmed. Baekhyun walks in first, looking down.

“If there’s no wild animal, we could sleep outside, huh?” he says, touching the plants. “In case it doesn’t rain… it’s nice. You can see the stars and everything, because there’s no buildings around.”

“What’s your problem with beds?” Jongdae laughs.

“We can bring the bed outside, if you want,” Baekhyun smiles. “I was talking about the view.”

“As long as you don’t make me fuck outside, fine.”

“Ah, you’re so boring,” Baekhyun bends down to touch a cute flower. “We’re safe here. We could do crazy shit…”

“That’s all you do,” Jongdae snorts. “Hey, what’s that next to your leg?”

“Huh…” Baekhyun looks around. Jongdae moves the stick discreetly and rubs it slightly on Baekhyun’s leg.

“It’s a snake,” Jongdae screams. Baekhyun screams even louder and jumps. Jongdae explodes in laughter. The singer takes a while to understand what happened, but as soon as he realizes he was pranked, he hits Jongdae in the arm.

“You asshole,” he whines. “Don’t do that…”

Jongdae laughs for solid five minutes. Baekhyun pouts.

“Sorry,” Jongdae smiles, leaning on him. “Kiss.”

Baekhyun isn’t exactly happy but he does kiss Jongdae. It’s just… comfortable. Kissing all the time, touching, easy to melt on his touch. Jongdae doesn’t feel nervous or embarrassed, never out of place when they’re together.

“You’re lucky you’re a good kisser,” Baekhyun mumbles childishly against Jongdae lips. Jongdae rubs the wood stick again on his leg. “Stop!”

Jongdae runs back home before Baekhyun can reach him.

 

 

 

 

They’re lazy.

They spend the entire evening on the couch. Baekhyun shows Jongdae few pictures, books, old things. They make out once in a while, but not too much; it’s easy to want more and they want to be awake and perceptive to look at the stars. They’re lucky – it’s not raining anymore. They can’t push the bed outside, but they lay on the lounge chairs. Under the thick blanket, Baekhyun interlace their fingers.

“Sing for me,” he demands. “There’s just the two of us, anyway.”

“What do you want me to sing?” Jongdae asks. Their feet are rubbing under the blanket, because it’s really cold.

“Huh, sing a sad song.”

Jongdae sings. He closes his eyes, because this is how he feels more comfortable to control his voice. When he opens his eyes, Baekhyun is looking up at the sky.

“Why did you stop?” he complains, turning to Jongdae. “That was so beautiful…”

“I was thinking about we do a trade,” Jongdae says. “Sing for me one of your songs.”

“There’s no piano here.”

“No need. I just want to hear.”

“Ah, I don’t know,” Baekhyun says, and he’s embarrassed.

“Come on!”

“Don’t… don’t laugh at me, okay?”

“I won’t,” Jongdae says, serious.

Baekhyun sings. It’s a sad song and his voice is warm and sweet. Jongdae look at how different he looks now; his eyes are lost, but he looks sure of what he’s doing. When the song ends he turns to Jongdae and gives a little peck in his lips.

“So…?”

“That’s… adult,” Jongdae says and both laugh. “It’s different from I expected.”

“Please don’t tell me you based your opinion in my songwriting on the last EXO album.”

“No,” Jongdae smiles. “I was just expecting something softer.”

Baekhyun isn’t smiling.

“I guess this a common mistake,” he whispers. “I have to be softer to be an Idol, but I’m not.”

Jongdae pokes his nose.

“I like the song. I feel like many people would love it,” Jongdae smiles. “I bet even Kyungsoo would approve it.”

“Ah, that’s hard,” Baekhyun snorts. “He said that my last songs were playing in the seventh degree of hell. I don’t even know what it is.”

Jongdae laughs hard.

“He’s very creative about punishing people,” Jongdae says. “But you would totally make him fall in love singing like this.”

Baekhyun just stares at Jongdae. For a long time. Then, he blinks.

“We should sleep,” he yawns. “Let’s wake up early tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a trap.

“Come on, you slug,” Baekhyun turns to Jongdae still running, but now backyards. The wind is blowing on his hair and he’s red on his face. “It’s just a morning run.”

“Well, if you wanted me to run, doggy style wasn’t the best position for morning sex,” Jongdae says out of breath, but still trying to catch him. “This is not my definition of fun!”

“Try to run while screaming,” Baekhyun laughs. “You’ll enjoy more!”

Jongdae screeches and runs; he almost dies, but it’s really fun. Baekhyun falls on the grass, laughing. The village is really cute, but there are lots of dog owners. Jongdae inspects to see if Baekhyun isn’t laying in dog’s poop. Baekhyun grabs him and pushes him down.

“No public sex,” Jongdae says, trying to not fall over him. “I told you.”

“It’s just a kiss,” Baekhyun makes a duck face. Jongdae kisses him. “See? It’s fine.”

“I’m tired,” Jongdae complains. “Let’s go back. I need a power nap.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun says, offering his hands so Jongdae can help him to stand up. “We need to use the bed, after all. We’re not going to sleep tonight.”

“And I probably don’t have a bed in my house,” Jongdae chuckles. “Ah, I’m not mad anymore. I guess angry sex is a nice way to deal with repressed feelings.”

“It’s nice in general,” Baekhyun says, walking next to him. “You can’t complain about using make-up today. You’ll have to hide those hickeys as much as I do.”

“You bite like a dog,” Jongdae inspects his arm. “You eat the whole pizza and you’re still hungry?”

“You’re soft,” Baekhyun complains. “It’s your fault.”

They sleep for few hours. Jongdae wakes up because of Baekhyun’s insistent ringtone, but he doesn’t leave the bed. It feels nice to have a warm body next to his while it’s cold outside. Baekhyun wakes up too, but they stay like that, just talking.

“You’re kind of mysterious,” Baekhyun says. “I’m not really sure about most things about you.”

“Eh,” Jongdae whines. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun shrugs. “Do you really have plans or you just keep doing things with this unbothered attitude? Why you never complain about me taking you everywhere?”

“That’s just how I am,” Jongdae smiles. “I don’t really have plans. People give me work and I do it.”

“How about the future?”

“I don’t think much about the future. I just live one day after the other.”

“Don’t you have dreams?”

“I do. But they change,” Jongdae plays with Baekhyun’s hair. “When I was a kid I wanted to be famous, but then I grew up and I didn’t want that anymore. When I was a teenager I wanted to have a degree and travel the world. And now, I think I would like to be recognized as a good professional.”

“Huhh,” Baekhyun says. “You don’t dream about… having a family?”

“Dream? I guess not,” Jongdae chuckles. “I used to think I would be a father by now. But it wasn’t my dream. I guess it’s just inevitable, on my mind.”

“I want like… ten kids,” Baekhyun sighs. “I could be only a stay-at-home father.”

Jongdae laughs.

“Kids are always nice,” he agrees. “But not now. Maybe ten years from now.”

“Isn’t that a lot?” Baekhyun stares at him.

“Maybe,” Jongdae sighs. “But I spend so many time working, studying and being in a relationship… I need time to make compromises. A child or a marriage is too much responsibility.”

Baekhyun just stares at him, quiet. His phone is still ringing.

“Answer that thing,” Jongdae complains.

“Ah, it’s probably Kris,” he sits up, almost pushing Jongdae away from the bed. “See, it’s his pic.”

Baekhyun grabs the phone and shows the screen to Jongdae.

“And you know… it’s… written… I’ll be there in five… minutes?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun turns the phone and read the message displaying on the screen. “Oh, fuck.”

“Am I going to witness a murder?” Jongdae asks quietly.

“Probably,” Baekhyun nods. “My last wish is a gift to you.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“It’s a blowjob,” Baekhyun grabs the blanket over Jongdae and throws in the floor. “Congratulations.”

“You’re an oral kind of guy, aren’t you?” Jongdae props on his elbows to look at him.

“Yup,” Baekhyun sits in a comfortable position and moves Jongdae’s legs. “Singing, eating, sucking.”

Jongdae wasn’t really sure of how many time Kris takes to knock on the door, but it’s more than ten minutes.

“ _Baekhyun! Open this door, now!”_

Jongdae even tries to scream “He can’t”, but his voice isn’t that louder. Baekhyun is zero percent affected by the imminent invasion. Jongdae can’t even move in a time like this, but he picks the first thing that looks like a blanket and throws over Baekhyun

Kris opens the door himself and only god knows if he’s using his force or he has a key. Baekhyun is still busy and he… he’s not giving a shit. Kris erupts on the room, screaming, way before Jongdae could stop him (he wouldn’t).

“You better not be with your mouth full of candy,” he walks in.

He stares at Jongdae and looks down at the moving figure under the blanket.

“It’s not candy,” Baekhyun says, sticking his head out. “I don’t do it because of the taste, by the way.”

Kris just gapes for a second before rolling his eyes back.

“Not this again,” he turns back, sighing.

 

.

 

 

After watching Baekhyun being dragged away from the room by the ear (and still naked), Jongdae felt like a guest witnessing the hosts fighting. He takes a bath, dresses himself and picks his phone while Baekhyun and Kris are still having a fight. He realizes he forgot to answer Minseok.

 

 **Jongdae:** Sorry!

 **Jongdae:** I’m out of the town!

 **Jongdae:** When I come back, I’ll pass by Chaleur to see you :)

 

Baekhyun’s whines inform Jongdae that they’re still arguing. Jongdae looks around on the room, but there aren’t much things. He checks his messages again and re-read Kyungsoo’s messages. Too curious to stop himself to know how deeply fucked he is, Jongdae searches his own name on twitter. Dozens of Jedis accounts appear; Jongdae visits the one he’s following most.

 

 **Be strong, Baek**  @jedisline – 9 h

_The man Baekhyun was seen with in the last few days is Kim Jongdae and he’s from Rolling Stone. He was also the man driving Baekhyun on that scooter._

 

 **What’s the situation?**  @hibaekhyuinnye – 9 h

Replying to @jedisline

_BITCH!!!!!! IS HE GOING TO APPEAR IN THE MAGAZINE????_

**bbh’s winter flip flops** @backtomyufo – 9 h

Replying to @jedisline

_HE’S OUT OF THE TOWN?!? MAYBE HE’S FILMING TOO!_

**Baekhyun’s second wife**  @callmejediiiii – 9 h

_I’m sure it was a Vespa!!! WASEDRFTGYHU THE TWO OF THEM FUcasjiioassaopsaahoisha_

 

 **No ufos on this town**  @supersolobbh – 9 h

Replying to @jedisline

_I guess it’s a work thing, but hot tall friend isn’t around and he only hangs up with this guy now… *eyes emoji*_

 

 **yinxingyin**  @1991whatsyouremergency – 9 h

Replying to @jedisline

_You guys are crazy if you think that SM will let him speak. Bbh can’t talk shit since exo. Rolling Stone doesn’t interview idols, except the ones who can actually say their mind like Jonghyun._

 

 **Buy supernova!!!!**  @yourfavessuckbutwhatnew – 7 h

Replying to @jedisline

_If it was an interview then why baek was like…. Grinding on that guy on a vespa… I mean that wasn’t the right way to sit, right???_

**Crazy ass hoe** @hardstanbbhjedi – 7 h

Replying to @jedisline

_@bbhnews111 searched this Jongdae guy and he’s cute and tiny! we couldn’t find articles signed by him but small reviews, so maybe they’re friends? I mean bh can have friends besides Sehun_

 

Jongdae stays a long time thinking if he’s mad for being called cute and tiny. He shrugs; he can’t deny facts. He lays down on the bed, missing his own. At this point, he may crash into his landlords’ house and stay in their probably very expensive bed so they’ll know how’s to be kicked out on their own house.

Baekhyun storms in the room. Jongdae supports himself on the elbows to look at him.

“What happened?” Jongdae frowns.

“He wants me to go home now,” Baekhyun pouts. “I told him we were going to leave anyway, but he says he’ll only leave after us.”

“That’s fine for me,” Jongdae smiles. “Don’t we have a party to attend?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, sitting on bed. He’s still upset. Jongdae kicks the singer lightly on the hips. Baekhyun looks at him.

“Come here,” Jongdae says. Baekhyun lays next to him. “What’s up?”

“I can’t wait to leave,” he licks his lips, staring at the ceiling. “I just want to be completely free and far away from here… just for a while…”

“You’ll be,” Jongdae says softly. “You just have to wait a bit more. Now, let’s pack the things, huh? We can put music on our way back and have fun.”

Baekhyun turns his head to stare at him.

“Yeah,” he smiles. “Let’s go.”

It’s really fun. They didn’t bring much things, but Baekhyun took few belongings from the house and put in the car. Kris followed them, but they didn’t mind, because they were listening to classics and playing games. Jongdae stopped to pee twice and Baekhyun bough drinks in a bar on the road. Some people recognized him and asked for selfies. Kris even allowed it. Jongdae didn’t even thought about coming to his house; he was used to Baekhyun’s.

Fun stopped while making out in the shower, so… guess life is still a surprise box.

“What?” Baekhyun asks, pouting. He’s wet from head to toe, there’s soap in his ear and his dick is hard, but Jongdae is trying to ignore it. “It’s just an earring.”

“No, for god’s sake,” Jongdae whines. It’s hard to run away from Baekhyun after being so attached to that shower. “I’m already blonde. Isn’t that enough?”

“Come on,” Baekhyun presses his whole body against Jongdae. “Let’s do it together. Even Kris agreed! You can take it if you don’t like it. It’ll heal.”

“It may hurt,” Jongdae throws his head back to escape Baekhyun’s probable kiss. “No. And stop rubbing your dick on me. It’s not going to convince me.”

“Ah… then how can I convince you?” Baekhyun asks and he’s serious.

“You can’t!” Jongdae says simply. “I won’t do it.”

Unsurprisingly, Jongdae does agree. Baekhyun sits on his lap and holds his head in place and Kris uses something that looks like a gun to pierce Jongdae’s ear. It’s faster than he thinks and it doesn’t hurt much. Even Baekhyun doesn’t complain. He puts a small heart earring and Baekhyun uses a classic round one.

“Why did I do that…?” Jongdae whispers to his reflection on the mirror. Baekhyun sits on him again.

“All you do is whine. It’s just an earring.”

“You only whine too,” Jongdae whine.

“Ahhhh,” Baekhyun makes faces at him. Jongdae mirrors him. “Okay, now let me do your make up.”

“Make-up?” Jongdae asks, watching Baekhyun picks weird little beauty products. “Why?”

“You’re going with me. I don’t want you to embarrass me in front of my friends and, especially, my rivals,” Baekhyun says, measuring something that looks like a coloring pen.

“I’m pretty sure you already do that by yourself,” Jongdae says.

“True,” Baekhyun nods. “But that’s no news. I’ll put some color on you or you are more into dark make-up?”

“Dark,” Jongdae laughs. “I’m totally emo.”

Baekhyun snorts and instead of applying whatever he’s holding, he kisses Jongdae.

“You give me yellow vibes, actually,” he says, whispering on Jongdae’s mouth. “But let’s pretend we are rock stars today.”

 

 

 

Jongdae stops his Vesta on the building’s garage. It’s huge, full of expensive cars. Jongin’s apartment is ten minutes from Baekhyun’s, but they can’t walk on the street anymore. Baekhyun jumps off the Vesta and looks around. Jongdae can’t take his eyes off him; Baekhyun is overdressed, in a black button silk shirt and tight pants, mussed hair and smoky eyes – Jongdae knows very well that the singer did not dress for him, but…

Baekhyun looks at him. “Are you coming or not?”

“Ah…” Jongdae blinks. “Of course. Just let me…”

He checks his beloved vesta just to know if it’s everything all right and then stares back at Baekhyun.

“Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Baekhyun walks closer to him and starts to slap his shoulder. “God, this jacket of yours is covered in cat’s hair.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jongdae looks at it. “What I can do? You kept rushing me!”

“Let me,” Baekhyun slaps it lightly until it’s significantly cleaner. “I thought you were a more useful Virgo.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae whines. “Minseok’s cat probably was taking a nap on it.”

“Ah, Baekhyun says, letting his arms fall. “Let’s go.”

Jongdae follows Baekhyun and feels a bit weird when the singer doesn’t attack him on the elevator (he has a kink), but he thinks maybe Baekhyun is too nervous. Jongdae rarely even went to colleges parties, let alone famous people’s parties, so he’s not very sure of what he’s supposed to expect. Baekhyun rings the bell many times before someone opens the door.

It’s Jongin. He’s using a very open button pearl t-shirt, he looks wasted and he’s using sunglasses. On his arms, Bobo is quietly sitting, also using (tiny) sunglasses.

“Hello…” he smiles, leaning on the door. “Look, it’s Mr. jelly belly.”

“Good night, satanic succubus,” Baekhyun says serious. “Do you still have alcohol or did you drink every single drop in your never-ending thirstiness?”

“Plenty of it,” Jongin gives them space to get in. “Do your friend has a camera? I mean, IU just pole danced and we don’t want this content published in a time like this.”

“No,” Baekhyun says, holding Jongdae’s waist. “He’s here so we can have sex. Do you have a bed or…?”

“Third room at the end of the corridor,” Jongin lets his sunglasses fall to the tip of his nose and measures Jongdae from head to toe. “I guess you have better taste for men than for picking songs. He’s looking good today.”

“Get out,” Baekhyun puts his body in front of Jongdae’s. “I can’t have good things because of you.”

Jongdae just laughs.

“I’m just complimenting him, you dumbass,” Jongin hold Bobo tighter. “I won’t touch him. I want no business with men anymore. You’re all trash.”

“You’re a man too,” Jongdae says, popping his head from behind Baekhyun’s.

“Well, I can’t date myself, can I?” Jongin points to the room. “Talk to Jonghyun before you leave to do your dirty job. He’s asking about you since he arrived.”

Jongdae looks around and… it’s a mess. Jongin’s apartment is big, with a wide living room with nothing but a long couch and a big tv on the wall. He doesn’t even have a carpet, so Jongdae is thinking it may be a celebrity thing. He can recognize many faces that he saw on tv: models, dancers, hosts… but the most recognizable is obvious. Taemin, casually drinking something that looks like a piña colada, sitting on his husband’s lap.

“Oh, Jongdae,” he waves cutely. “Hello!”

Jongdae waves back and he is almost hit by a flying bra – thrown by a girl who’s way too similar to that Suzy singer.

“Ah, Baekhyun,” Jonghyun smiles, and he leans on the couch to see them better. “Come here. It’s been a while since we saw each other.”

Baekhyun walks in, but he drags Jongdae with him.

“You know, SM put a sock on my mouth,” he nods, still holding Jongdae by the arm. “I couldn’t do anything fun lately. How are you?”

“Fine,” he says, and he’s holding Taemin by the waist, moving him. “Do you know my long-time husband? It’s been a while we married, but only now we get to tell people, so…”

“Nice to meet you,” Baekhyun says politely. Jongin approaches them and falls on the couch, right next to Jonghyun.

“Baekhyun doesn’t know anything. He’s a dumb dumb ass,” Jongin mocks.

“You’re the dumb dumb ass,” Baekhyun spits.

“Ah, you two, stop this,” Jonghyun sighs. “Go drink something, Baek. Everyone is wasted. I mean, Heechul was deadass using a dress and proclaiming himself a King. No one came here to have singing fun.”

“It’s not fun if it’s work,” Jongin complains, pushing the sunglasses away from his face. “We do that every day. You’re the only obsessed here.”

“It’s not me,” Jonghyun explains. “It’s for Taeminnie here. He did so many singing classes and he never sings for me.”

“I didn’t know that,” Jongdae mumbles.

“Ah, yeah. It’s just a hobby,” Taemin shrugs. “I work with music, so I guess I’m supposed to know how it works…”

“And who is this cutie?” Jonghyun smiles to Jongdae. Thank god Baekhyun is holding him, otherwise Jongdae would pass out right there.

“He works with me,” Taemin says. “He’s Jongdae.”

“A big fan,” Jongdae bows. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Another journalist?” Jonghyun laughs. “You must be lost.”

“He’s not,” Baekhyun moves his hand from Jongdae’s arm to the waist. “He’s here so we can fu—”

Jongdae gets to react fast this time and kicks Baekhyun on the leg. Baekhyun whines loud.

“So vulgar,” Jongin shakes his head, displeased.

“I don’t get to listen this from you,” Baekhyun says, bending to caress his hurt leg. “You get half-naked on stage while doing some pole dance sexy dance.”

“It’s public service,” Jongin steals Taemin drink and bites the straw. “You wouldn’t get it. It’s a hot people’s thing.”

“You…!” Baekhyun even tries to get up to “attack” Jongin, But Jongdae holds him by the waist to keep him in place. “Let me go!”

“That’s fun,” Taemin giggles. “Are you two really a couple? I thought it was just boss’ paranoid.”

“We’re not,” Jongdae smiles apologetically, making Baekhyun stop moving. Jongin looks at them curiously, like he knew something.

“Baekhyun, you could sing with Taeminnie, huh?” Jonghyun says. “I’m dying to hear some chill ballad.”

The song playing is a very explicit rap and Jongdae isn’t even paying attention and he’s sure that it mentioned at least three different types of sex.

“I can’t,” Baekhyun says serious, wiping off the dust on his shirt. “But Jongdae can.”

“What?” Jongdae mumbles, scared. At least two EXID members pass by the room, half naked and screaming. He has no time to focus. “What the hell?”

“We could make a bet,” Jongin rises and shakes the drink while Taemin tries to reach it. “About who’s going to survive the song. I bet on Taemin.”

“You’re so screwed,” Baekhyun grins. “I bet on Jongdae.”

“Finally, some fun,” Jonghyun claps. “I will put on Ailee… which one is the most difficult?”

Jongdae panics and pulls Baekhyun against him.

“What the fuck are you doing? I can’t sing in front of Jonghyun!” He whispers angrily.

Baekhyun turns to him and pretends they’re hugging to whisper on Jongdae’s ear.

“Win this shit and I’ll take you to that room and ride your dick until you cry,” Baekhyun says fiercely.

Jongdae gapes.

“Ah,” Taemin claps, grabbing his drink back. “This will be fun!”

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

Jongdae opens his eyes.

His head hurts and he can hear his own ringtone somewhere; he’s getting used to it. He tries to move and realizes Baekhyun is over him, sleeping and drooling, as always. Jongdae looks down to watch him and he needs a full minute to realizes they’re in a bed. He looks around; his phone is still ringing, but it’s because the place is taken by a brutal silence. It’s not Baekhyun’s home or his own.

“Baekhyun,” he tries to sit. “Wake up.”

They’re in a king-size bed, red silk sheets and, in a brutal contrast, dozens of stuffed animals around.

Jongdae sits and Baekhyun rolls to the side, sleep-mumbling something.

What happened last night?

Jongdae remembers that he sang in front of Jonghyun. Oh. He won the bet. He also drank an entire bottle of vodka to win another bet. And maybe beer, because he remembers how Baekhyun was riding him and drinking at the same time. Then… he fell asleep. Jongdae sighs, trying to move his body so he can leave the bed. There’s a body on the way.

“Get off, Baekhyun,” he complains loudly.

“What?” Baekhyun says behind his back.

“You…” Wait. If Baekhyun is behind him, then who…

“Let me sleep more five minutes,” Jongin says under the blanket.

Bakehyun and Jongdae screech at the same time, in perfect harmony. Jongdae pulls the blanket to cover his own body and Baekhyun hides even more behind him. Jongin rubs his face. He’s dressed up.

“God, you two can’t literally stop screaming for five minutes,” he pouts. “Like, the entire party listened to your fuck. Maybe the entire building.”

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun says, shocked, holding Jongdae’s shoulder by reflex.

“Well, this is my bed,” Jongin pulls the blanket back to cover his face. “When I came here you two were asleep already. I didn’t see anything.”

Baekhyun sighs loudly in relief, but Jongdae is so lethargic that he just snorts.

“Please make this phone quiet,” Baekhyun says. “You’re popular like that? Not even my phone rings so much. I mean… if the crazy fans don’t find it.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun leave Jongin’s bed and the rapper is already sleeping when they close the windows and pick the bottles off the ground. Baekhyun fix Jongin’s blanket and gives him a small kiss on the cheek before leaving.

The place outside is a mess, but he can see people are helping to clean. After he and Baekhyun dresses themselves again, Baekhyun helps them – Jongdae isn’t even surprised when he finds the record store lady in the middle of the group wiping the ground. After all, the entire Mamamoo is throwing away the bottles next to BIG BANG members. Jongdae feels like he’s still drunk.

His phone rings again. Before Baekhyun throws a bottle on him, Jongdae answers the call.

“Hello.”

“ _Hello, Jongdae. How are you?”_ It’s Junmyeon. “ _I’ve been calling you for hours. We have an emergency meeting in less than an hour. I tried to warn you earlier, but you didn’t pick your phone.”_

“Uhn… okay,” Jongdae nods to no one. “Where?”

“ _Oh, here at our meeting room.”_

“Isn’t the deadline in few days?” Jongdae panics a little.

“ _Yes. But we have to discuss about the content. It has been… well, we will discuss it here. You can take a cab if you need to.”_

“No, I’m with my Vespa. I’ll be there,” he says. Baekhyun is holding a trash bag and he stares at Jongdae, confused.

“What happened?”

“I have a meeting. This is really being a crazy month,” Jongdae sighs. “I’m sorry I can’t help you cleaning.”

“That’s fine. I’ll stay to chat with my people. I know you enjoy cleaning…” he snorts, but there’s a trace of fond. “That’s really weird, after all. Are you sure your boss isn’t like… into one of you and he just keep doing meeting as an excuse?”

Jongdae blinks.

“No…” he mumbles. “It must be serious.”

“That’s fine, then,” Baekhyun shrugs. “Have a nice meeting.”

Jongdae smiles but… he’s not sure of what he’s supposed to do. Baekhyun is just staring at him and Jongdae has to say or do anything, but he’s just… confused.

“I’ll call you,” he says before walking away. “See you later.”

He doesn’t look back.

 

 

 

 

.

 

Jongdae doesn’t even pass by his apartment, because he knows he will only get more frustrated. He has his ID with him, and everyone knows him at work, so no one questions him. But people are looking at him differently, a bit of shook on their faces and Jongdae can only conclude he may be a hangover mess, right now. He always went to work clean and dressed appropriately and now he must be reeking of alcohol and sex. He stops to wait for the elevator and there are actual people working in such an improbable day – the interns, of course. Jongdae smiles and waves to them.

“Wow,” an edition intern smiles. “You’re looking different today.”

“Am I?” Jongdae chuckles. “I hope I don’t look too bad.”

“Not at all,” Momo says and Nayeon nods. “You’re looking awesome.”

Jongdae can’t believe they’re being anything but nice, so he says thanks anyway. He would believe normally – if two lesbians say he looks good, then he must be. The elevator door opens and he looks at himself on the mirror.

Well. His mother will pass out.

He’s not only blonde and with a really long hair; his ear piercing is visible, he has hickeys all over his neck and his mouth is red like he applied lipstick. He has remaining make up on his face, his leather jacket still has cat hair all over it and his jeans are ripped for some reason he can’t understand.

“Are you going to come in?” Momo asks quietly, holding the door. Jongdae blinks and walks in, apologizing. He looks different, for sure, but it hits him how it was obvious that he was having a… difficult month. On the music section floor, few interns and coworkers pass by him, greeting him and staring. Jongdae picks a coffee before getting into the meeting room and sips a little.

He opens the door.

Everyone is already there. Junmyeon is on the table, holding a mug with the same stamp than his bottom-up shirt, Taemin is sleeping on his chair, Yoona remains beautiful and alert, Chanyeol is drinking a big coffee even if he’s using a jumper that could serve as a circus tent and Kyungsoo is quietly drinking his expresso.

They all stare at him while he takes his seat in the usual place.

“Good morning…” Junmyeon mumbles, confused.

“Good morning,” Jongdae smiles.

“I’m glad you’re here in time,” he coughs, trying to look unaffected by Jongdae’s actual state. “We can have time to discuss the changes.”

“Changes?” Kyungsoo frowns. He’s side eying Jongdae.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Junmyeon drinks his coffee before continuing. “I’ve received a call yesterday. Apparently, November edition got a new… perspective… based on the content we created, but also because… of what’s happening outside.”

“I don’t go outside,” Chanyeol says. “Otherwise people throw stuffed animals on me.”

Taemin snorts; that’s why they realize he’s paying attention.

“Well, I expect you to follow the news, at least,” Junmyeon glares at Taemin. “The #metoo movement is resurfacing again and Movies was… advised… to drop Tarantino for this month… or year… or decade.”

“That’s actually nice,” Jongdae says.

“Uhnn… Of course. This isn’t the problem, after all,” Junmyeon sighs. “Big boss asked us to give emphasis on the female role models and to highlight the women on media.”

“That’s what we have been doing,” Kyungsoo says. He sounds angry, and it’s probably because he knows they’re not discussing real things. “Namie Amuro?”

“Exactly,” Junmyeon points. “By the way, loved your articles. But the thing is… Jongdae…”

Jongdae blinks. “What?”

“Unfortunately, we can’t publish Baekhyun’s interview this month.” He tries to smile, maybe to soften the news. “We are talking about sexism, so… We can't give him an important spot like this when he has benefitted… after of what happened with Taeyeon and CL.”

Jongdae gapes. Yoona turns to him.

“You don’t have to worry,” she pats him on the shoulder. “I have a Red Velvet material from months ago and it can be published now. You won’t have to start over now.”

“And you can publish Baekhyun’s article later,” Junmyeon says softly. “I know you’re working hard on this. We can put it in December’s issue.”

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have the same confused face and Taemin seems thoughtful.

“So…” Jongdae asks. “What do I do, then? For… this issue.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Junmyeon says quickly. “I mean, I put you under so much stress. You can finish your article in peace and we publish it next issue. What do you think?”

Jongdae looks around. Everyone seems a bit worried. Maybe the shouldn’t have to – after all, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. And it sounds pretty reasonable, after all. He can have few days to rest and maybe spend more time with his family. He can have time to write a real good article to publish later. Yeah, it seems nice.

But…

“I’m fine with it,” Jongdae smiles. It doesn’t sound sincere.

“Are you sure…?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Well, what else can I say,” Jongdae shrugs. “I went through hell to get this interview in time. And you know why? Because I didn’t get one single article in this magazine even if I was hired because of my writings. And then, I told myself, let’s do it. Talk about an idol’s life while everyone else is researching one of the best female acts on history? Amazing. And it was fun? If you forget that my house had a hole that could be a portal to the underworld, rats and weird things, I guess. Or, yes. Not bad. I mean, I’m blonde, my ear is sore and let’s not talk about my ass…”

Chanyeol’s eyes almost pops out of his face.

“… because that’s what this interview cost me? My mental health, my physical integrity, my almost invincible patience and my time. My precious time that I’m always feel like I’m wasting here. But that’s fine. I had fun, I got laid and I didn’t have to wash my clothes to come here every day and sit in a chair to revise other people’s article. I was… you know… outside. Dealing with impulsive idols, nosing into people’s lives and having anal sex.”

Chanyeol is gaping, clutching his chest. Kyungsoo is smiling. Taemin is amused. Yoona is shocked.

“… O-okay,” Junmyeon says. “Anything else?”

“You don’t want to ask that,” Taemin smiles.

“Kyungsoo, I’m in love with you,” Chanyeol says suddenly, dropping the empty coffee cup on the ground dramatically. “I was afraid to lose our friendship if I made any move. I’m sorry. It just… happened. It’s been hard for me to watch you dating other people all those years and I’ve convinced myself I was fine but now we’re both single and I’m ready to try. Please don’t get mad at me.”

Kyungsoo’s face is unreadable, but he answers quickly.

“I’m not mad,” he says simply. “We can go on a date. If you don’t think it’s useless since we’re friends for—”

“No, it’s not!” Chanyeol screams. “I want to go on a date!”

“Then we should try the brunch festival on that restaurant I recommended you,” Kyungsoo stands up and picks his coat. Chanyeol jumps off his chair, in his endless task of following Kyungsoo. “If we leave now, I guess we still have an hour or—”

“Where you two are going to...?” Junmyeon asks, moving his mug like a finger.

“Leaving,” Kyungsoo says. “As much as I would enjoy the first meeting that doesn’t make me put myself in a coma, it’s pretty sure I have nothing else to do here. Jongdae is right and he should be the one calling the shots next issue. Give him anything he wants. Bye.”

Chanyeol shrugs apologetically. “I pretty much agree. Jongdae knows what he’s doing, I trust him.”

The two of them leave the room like that. No one questions them.

“So, I guess that’s all?” Taemin asks. “I heard Jongdae last night and he sounded pretty competent… in many things.”

“Is that about sex?” Yoona asks, slightly afraid.

“Is about see… singing,” Taemin winks. “I have to go. I have to take care of my hungover husband and I know everyone judges me for being a polyamory type of guy, but I work pretty hard to maintain my marriage.”

After he leaves, Junmyeon stares at Yoona.

“Well, I’m not mad or anything, but I agree with them,” she sighs. “I’m really enjoying working here with the interns and not just being the pretty face so I guess I’ll do something useful and help them for now. I’ll send the interview before the deadline. Listen to Jongdae.”

She gives Jongdae a side hug before leaving and closing the door. The remaining men in the room stare at each other.

“So… what do you want to request…?” Junmyeon says, a bit tense.

“I just want to publish my shit,” Jongdae sighs. “I don’t mind helping the interns, I don’t mind writing reviews… I mean, I love listening to music. But I want to talk about what I want to talk. Backstage reporting, underground movements, bringing back old, forgotten album and artists… I do understand why I can’t publish Baekhyun’s interview now, I do. I’m not mad because of this. I’m mad because of many things, but not this. I’m not even in a hurry to publish it by now? I need time to process all this crazy stuff. I would write about many things… but you have to allow me to do it first.”

Junmyeon nods, gulping.

“I guess… it’s fine… I’m sorry for… I mean you always looked comfortable with I… I’m not… But you can do whatever you want and…”

Jongdae stands up, walks around the table until he can stop in front of his babbling boss. Then he holds Junmyeon’s shoulders.

“This is not only your fault. I needed to stand up for myself and I didn’t,” Jongdae says softly. “You work pretty hard. Don’t blame yourself.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon says; he’s embarrassed. Jongdae breaks the distance between them and kiss him – a real kiss, not just a peck in the lips. It’s fun to be the person surprise-kissing now. Junmyeon kisses him back, but when Jongdae breaks the kiss, he is beyond confused.

“Look,”, Jongdae holds his boss’ face with both hands, caressing it. “We would be a terrible couple. _Terrible_. I would prank you and every time you would fall for it. You deserve someone who cares about the effort you put on things. Someone romantic who cares about those expensive clothing, make up and weird mugs. Someone who enjoys coffee and working too much and fashion and… whatever you’re into. Because I’m not looking for a lover and even if I was, I couldn’t be the sweet guy you need. You’re more like a calm river and I’m like a thunderstorm. But you’re really cute. See you on the first November meeting.”

That said, Jongdae walks back, waves and leaves the room. He stands on the corridor, looks around and shrugs. He picks his phone and calls Minseok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a while since Jongdae step on a college. He spent so much time in so many different universities that he didn’t want even to visit one anymore. Lucky for him, Minseok leaves his classes earlier, and he finds Jongdae waiting for him on the stairs. Minseok is completely different, now, on the sunlight, no makeup on and his hair on a cute ponytail. He’s using a soft blue long sweater and no one in the world wouldn’t say he’s not a young freshman on his first day.

“Hello,” Minseok says, going down the stairs. “It’s nice to see you alive and well.”

“Hello,” Jongdae smiles. “You look adorable today.”

“Thank you,” Minseok chuckles. “You look like a Rockstar. The young ladies inside were giggling about you…”

Jongdae looks up and can see a group of girls staring at them. He snorts.

“I can help but look good,” he presses his lips, shrugging. “But don’t distract me. I came here with a mission.”

“Well, I’m listening,” Minseok puts a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder, rubbing it. “I’m also glad to know you haven’t disappeared after fucking like some guys…”

“I wouldn’t,” Jongdae says, serious. “I’m actually here to ask you on a date.”

“Really?” Minseok grins, his eyebrows raised. “A date? I guess you messed up the order of things…”

“Do not offend a Virgo like me. I don’t mess stuff, I fix them,” Jongdae smiles. “I’m fixing it, based on my Virgo rule number four, that my work can’t be done just because the result is “almost” as good. I want perfect. I need to ask you out and I’ve been a coward, avoiding it. Of course, I wanted sex, but… I won’t do half-ass things anymore, nor accept it. So, at least let me take you for a date.”

“What if I say no,” Minseok crosses his arms. His tone is defiant. “I mean, you don’t look like you want to actually date me, to be honest.”

“No, I don’t,” Jongdae nods. “I would be a lucky man if I get to date you, and I won’t lie if I say that sometimes I do imagine us living together with your cat, but you’re right, I don’t. If you say no, I’m okay. At least I had the guts to ask you out and that’s what this is about too… But if you say yes, we will have a fun night out and you won’t regret it.”

Minseok narrows his eyes for a second, then, breaks a smile.

“How can I say no…” he lets his hand fall from Jongdae’s shoulder, rubbing his chest. “I’m free tomorrow night.”

“I’ll be there at seven,” Jongdae nods. “Sorry for interrupting your classes.”

“No problem,” Minseok winks. Jongdae watches him leave and stands there for a moment before deciding to head home. It’s not like he will avoid being on his own house forever. It almost feels like a normal day, parking his Vesta on his garage spot, getting on the elevator, meeting awkward neighbors and opening the door to no one.

Except it doesn’t look like his home at all.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAEEE,” he whines, shocked, not really sure of what he should inspect first. The new carpets? The fancy wallpapers? The weird but stunning painting on the wall?

He runs around in shock. He almost passes out when he gets on his room. A king size bed in on the center, with silk pastel sheets, a collection of _dvds_ on it and a poster of Meredith Grey on the wall.

“What the…”

“Did you like it,” Sehun walks in. Jongdae isn’t even surprised anymore. “After cleaning it we realized you needed a redecoration. This is also an apology for everything.”

“Anh…” Jongdae just scratches his head. “It’s nice…?”

“We hung a painting on the same place the hole was so you can replace it with good memories,” Sehun smiles. “And we fixed the problems. It’s not finished yet, but… we bought a dozen post its. It’s ordered by color on your closet.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae mumbles. “This is… really nice.”

“I like your piercing,” Sehun says, like he really doesn’t care about what’s done on the house. Jongdae can’t even think about how expensive those things are. “Baekhyun is looking for you. He said your phone is dead. Can I warn him that you’re here?”

“Yes, of course,” Jongdae fumbles in his pocket and find his phone. The battery is really dead. He finds his charger in his closet – he tries not to cry about the amount of post its, - and he just lays in bed while waiting for his battery to charge.

The bed is amazing. He rolls on it like a kid.

The doorbell rings. Jongdae leaves the bed reluctantly and he opens the door to a gigantic teddy bear.

“What the hell,” he catches the stuffed animal before it falls on him. Baekhyun walks in; he’s using stained clothes, a cap on backwards, and a coat tied on his waist. He walks straight to the kitchen, so Jongdae has to drag the cute monstrosity with him to know what’s going on.

Baekhyun drinks all the water on Jongdae’ fridge and wipes his mouth after, “Fuck, I needed this.”

“What’s this?” Jongdae says, now rubbing his face on the teddy bear he’s holding.

“Your nephew’s bday gift,” Baekhyun says, throwing the glass on the sink. “I spent the last hours cleaning my stuff and the things I brought from the summer house. I found this. There’s also a box of things I left on Sehun’s.”

“Isn’t this too much?” Jongdae looks up. The bear is taller than him. “How I can take this with me in a train ride?”

“You don’t have to carry with you, you know,” Baekhyun supports himself on the sink. He looks tired. “You can pay someone to take it to your family’s house.”

“Fine,” Jongdae drags the thing to the living room. He realizes Baekhyun followed him when the singer screams.

“Damn,” he whistles. “It looks straight out of a décor magazine.”

“I know, right?” Jongdae puts the bear sitting next to the couch. “Look at the painting! They even put a Meredith poster on my room.”

Baekhyun inspects the painting, frowning.

“Yeah, I don’t get this, but it’s beautiful. If I knew they would hang something on the wall, I would have give you my ass painting, not to Sehun.”

“Thank you, but no,” Jongdae makes a face. “So, you’re finally exhausted or…?”

“Well, I cleaned so many shit. I threw away ten boxes of stuff,” he says, still staring curiously at the painting. “I mean, I feel kind of liberating today. I don’t know. I even called Yixing to talk.”

“I feel like that too,” Jongdae slaps his arm. “I think it may be the thunder.”

“Or maybe the angry sex,” Baekhyun stares at him. “So, do you have a bed now or…?”

“God, do you never get tired of sex?”

“No,” Baekhyun snorts. “Taurus rule number one, we’re tired of anything but food, sex and sleep.”

Jongdae laughs hard, but he stops Baekhyun before the singer could grab him.

“No, no, no,” Jongdae raises a finger. “I’m tired as hell. I want to take a bath and sleep to recover from the hangover.”

Baekhyun pouts, but seems to agree.

“Fine,” he says, crossing his arms. “I have to finish what I’ve started. I just had to give you that thing.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae laughs. “Oh, I have bad news.”

“What?”

“Your interview won’t be published this Issue. Maybe on December or January Issue… I don’t know.”

“That’s not bad news,” Baekhyun laughs. “At least SM won’t try to eat me alive, since I’ll be long gone by then.”

Jongdae thinks about that. “Yeah…”

“Do I have to talk more, anyway?” Baekhyun scratches his nose. His face is dusty.

“I guess not,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I mean, not now.”

“Ah, great,” Baekhyun smiles. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I don’t have to go to work so, I’ll pack my things and…” Jongdae counts on his fingers. “Oh, I’ll go out with Minseok at night.”

Baekhyun’s mouth makes a small ‘O’. He blinks and nods. Jongdae can finally recognize the expression that he saw when he talked about Minseok’s cat. He’s uncomfortable.

“We’re not dating,” Jongdae says quickly. “I just had a great morning at work and I thought I should ask him out because I was afraid before. That’s all.”

“That’s okay,” Baekhyun says, moving his hands defensively. He steps back. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

They stay in silence. It’s… uncomfortable. That’s probably the first time he ever felt this space between them, since all Baekhyun did since they met was breaking walls. Jongdae stares at the singer, his dust face and stained clothes, so different from his Idol self. Jongdae still wants to kiss him, but it’s not the right moment.

“I… I’m going to travel to Europe to do a few work things…” Baekhyun says, gulping. “In a week or so, and I’ll stay there for a month or even more… I didn’t want to have this conversation today, but…”

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae pleads. “That’s not what you’re think—”

“I know you don’t want to date him,” Baekhyun stares deadly at Jongdae’s eyes. “But you don’t want to date me, either.”

Jongdae gapes. “Do you want to…?”

“No, I mean… probably not,” Baekhyun looks around, licking his lips. “That’s not what I had in mind. I… I don’t know. I’m lonely and so are you, and sometimes we think we want someone, but we just want to fill the hole, you see?”

Jongdae just waits. He gives no answer. Baekhyun seems upset.

“I… I think what we have is really fun, but I’m not… I’m not like Baekhyun, the extraterrestrial singer that makes everyone laugh. I’m the broken Baekhyun who survived ten years of this shit,” he says oddly softly. “And the last thing I should want right now is to get attached, even if I’m… very easy to get attached to people. I’ll be free soon. So… I think we should just…”

Jongdae looks down. “Okay.”

“Look at me,” Baekhyun says. Jongdae does as he’s told. “You’re not doing any wrong. You made me no promises. And I appreciate that? A lot. I mean… Do you know how’s to be like to have someone saying that they will love you forever and then moving on? Falling in love with other people? Only getting better while you just… suffer? I do. I lived that twice. They broke my heart. _Twice_. I can’t afford getting hurt anymore. I’m too young to be that hurt. I like you and that scares me because if I fall in love with you then it will be my fault, because you promised me nothing. And I’m dumb like that, so it’s better if we stop now.”

Jongdae nods slowly. Baekhyun tries to smile.

“I hope you enjoy travelling,” Jongdae says sincerely. “I hope everything works just fine. And I hope I can listen to your songs on radio. Not… _SM_ songs. Your songs.”

“You will,” Baekhyun says firmly. “And I will read anything you’ll publish.”

“I will talk about your jelly bones and how weirdly flexible you are,” Jongdae mocks.

“You might as well suck Jongin’s dick, asshole. Don’t gang up against me,” Baekhyun snorts. “I’ll miss you.”

“So will I. Don’t disappear,” Jongdae says.

“Like I can,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “You’re the slippery one.”

“Why does everyone say that…”

Baekhyun smiles and there’s something… a spark in his eyes.

“I’ll leave, then,” he says. “If you need anything, ask Sehun. He’s a good guy. For a trophy husband, I mean.”

“So _he_ is the trophy husband?” Jongdae slaps his own face. “I was betting on Luhan.”

Baekhyun laughs. It’s a beautiful sound. Jongdae makes a gesture for him to wait and runs to his room. He picks the box on his closet – at least they ordered things in the correct way – and comes back to the living room.

“Here,” he gives the box to Baekhyun. “For you.”

“What’s that?” Baekhyun shakes the box like a kid.

“My nephew’s gift,” Jongdae smiles. “You gave me the Bearzilla, so consider this a trade.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says, serious. “I’ll… go now. Take care.”

Jongdae guides him to the door and watches until the elevator door closes. He sighs. Maybe he should start packing now. He closes the door, picks the nearest post-it the can finds and glues it on the table.

Write Baekhyun’s article before you forget the little things

.

 

The night is a bit cold, but Jongdae doesn’t mind. He pours wine on the glasses and carries them carefully to the living room. Minseok is staring at the painting and accepts the wine with a confused smile.

“What’s that?” He asks.

“I don’t have a single idea,” Jongdae says and takes a sip of wine. “They just… put it there. I think it’s nice, but…”

“Well, art should be appreciated, not necessarily understood,” Minseok looks at the painting again, drinking. He’s disconcertingly beautiful today and Jongdae felt good to walk in the restaurant with him, knowing people were jealous of his company. It was a nice night, even if Jongdae was tired after packing and dragging the Bearzilla to a special delivery. He was back to his normal self, even with the blonde hair and the piercing as a memory of his crazy days.

“Do you want more wine?” Jongdae asks, nervous. Minseok drank his wine easily and he’s a heavy drinker. “I also have water, if you want to get hydrated. You already drank on the restaurant and maybe you should calm down.”

“Are you afraid I may get drunk,” Minseok smiles snarky, the empty glass touching his lips.

“I think you’re already drunk,” Jongdae chuckles. “But I bought a tea for hangovers yesterday because I was in need. If you get too drunk, I can—”

Jongdae doesn’t finish his sentence because Minseok kisses him.

“Or maybe…” Minseok says against his lips. “We can stop drinking and get some action. What do you think?”

“It’s a pretty reasonable solution…” Jongdae smiles.

It’s nice. The noise of glasses falling on the floor, the clothes being taken between kisses and even the nice silk against naked skin… but Jongdae feels a little guilty. Not just now, that they’re touching. When they were sitting on the restaurant, even with the nice view, Jongdae kept looking around, expecting something to happen, someone to pop up. Minseok doesn’t make jokes on bed, he’s not there for a simply fun time – he puts on a show. That makes Jongdae more comfortable to just enjoy it, even with that sensation on his heart…

 

 

The first thing that he does when he wakes up is check his phone. It isn’t ringing. Jongdae sighs in relief.

He looks around. Minseok is no longer in the bed. Jongdae stares at ceiling for a while, then sits up. Poster Meredith is looking at him.

“I’m sorry if I made you watch my dirty stuff,” he says apologetically. “Next time I’ll turn you back so you can’t see.”

She’s still smiling, that perv.

Jongdae leaves the bed and takes a shower – it’s not like Baekhyun’s shower, but… Jongdae thinks about him. It makes him feel uneasy, so he picks his things and leave. Minseok left a note on the table and Jongdae leaves it there.

 

The train ride is too long. Jongdae checks his messages and social media. He laughs out loud with Chanyeol’s pictures of Kyungsoo doing literally anything. ‘look at my BOYFRIEND doing the dishes’, ‘my BOYFRIEND and I are having dinner’, ‘MY BOYFRIEND is taking a nap’…

 

 **Jongdae:** do you have to use capital letters EVERY TIME

 **Jongdae:** that’s annoying even for you

 **Chanyeol:** WELL I WAITED FOR TOO LONG TO DO IT

 **Chanyeol:** STAY AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR BITTER ASS

 **Chanyeol:** A MAN IS HAPPY HERE

 

Jongdae even has time to write few emails on his phone, which is a big deal considering that many people recognize him as the train gets closer to home. Few neighbors and familiar faces from his high school days, that treat him as a permanent foreigner, since he was always travelling around. He picks the bus on town and he stares at the streets he grew up in, a bit nostalgic.

He holds on his backpack and walks home. His mother gapes when she looks at him, his brother makes fun of his hair, but at least Jongdae made his nephew smile because of the giant teddy bear.

“Oh, it’s here already,” Jongdae says, staring at the giant thing. “I’m glad you liked.”

“Uncle, uncle,” he jumps, smiling. “Ish people inside?”

“We all hope not,” Jongdae says. “Are you letting him watch horror movies or what?”

His brother shrugs. Jongdae decides to talk to his mother, instead. She’s finishing the cake and Jongdae offers help; she makes him spare only green M&M’s on a big bag.

“Tell me the news.”

“I told you, mom. Besides the crazy things on my house, nothing new.”

“You mean you just decided to dye your hair and pierce your ear, just like that?”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. She’s cutting the edges of the cake and she seems not to be paying attention but he knows better.

“I wanted a visual change, yes.”

“People do that when they start to date or they break up,” she smiles. “In the movies, of course.”

“I guarantee you that the last time I broke up was in college.”

“Talking about that,” she grins. “Liyin is in town.”

“What’s she doing here?” Jongdae frowns.

“I think she’s working. That’s what she came for the first time,” she laughs. “Ah, I remember when you had a crush on her and you were just graduating. ‘ _Mom, I’ll go to the same college than her and we will marry_ ’, ah, it was cute… you should visit her.”

“Mom, it’s over between us. She’s married,” Jongdae whines. “That’s all I know about her.”

“Well, she’s still the same brave girl. She came here by herself even when she’s pregnant—”

“She’s… what?!” Jongdae almost lets the bag fall on the floor. “She’s expecting? Since… what…?”

“You should bring a little gift for the kid,” she continues like she hadn’t heard Jongdae speaking. “She would like to see you. She stopped by to talk to me. Such a sweet girl.”

Jongdae keeps separating the M&M’s and thinking.

“Maybe I’ll visit her…” he whispers. “But don’t get any ideas!”

“Me? Not at all. She’s married and I know,” she laughs in the middle of the sentence. “I just know you have someone already. But I’ll wait until you want to talk about it.”

 

 

 

 

 

After thirty minutes deciding on a store what would he bring to his pregnant ex-girlfriend that he hadn’t talk for a good time, Jongdae decides to buy chocolate. He has no idea of what baby stuff he should get it, anyway. He knows her old place by heart. It’s still the same house, specially because she was rarely there, only few weeks on the year. She used to rent it, but he can hear her singing and he knows she’s there.

He counts to ten and rings the doorbell.

“Who’s there?” She asks.

“Hello… ah, it’s me,” he coughs. “Jongdae.”

Liyin opens the door with an incredulous face. She looks too young, her dark hair long and wavy; her white dress can’t hide her prominent belly.

“My, my,” she chuckles. “That’s a surprise. Come in, please.”

She accepts the gift gracefully and he sits in the couch awkwardly. She barely changed the things inside.

“Ah, I will eat this in seconds,” Liyin makes a face. “I’ve been a chocolate monster since this baby appeared.”

“How… long?”

“Oh,” she rubs the belly. “Four months, almost five.”

“My mother told me you are travelling alone,” Jongdae frowns. “Is it safe?”

“I’m not an invalid. I’ll be back home soon.”

“Still,” he sighs. She sits next to him, but in the corner, putting some distance to inspect him better.

“How are you?” She asks gently. “I can see you got the Rolling Stone full style now.”

He blushes, because he’s dumb.

“Ah, how did you know?”

“I ask about you. You were the one who erased me from your life…”

“It wasn’t like that…”

“Let’s not argue,” she raises a hand. “Answer me.”

“I’m fine,” he shrugs. “Not great, but fine. And you?”

“Pregnant.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“It’s nice and horrible at the same time,” she keeps rubbing the belly. “But it really changes your perspective.”

“You do look changed,” he says and he sound a bit bitter. “I mean, you didn’t want to be a mother and a wife and here we are.”

“Shit happens,” she says simply. “And people change. I’ll have to adapt myself to my new reality, but I won’t give up of what I wanted. That’s how life works.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, then,” he says. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Well, I’m certainly surprised to see you blonde,” she laughs. “I guess life is just a box of surprises.”

“You don’t know how much I believe in that,” Jongdae sighs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After spending so much time watching people having breakdowns and freaking out about exes, Jongdae has to experiment it. He just wished it wasn’t in a child’s party.

“Hey, you,” he screams to a tiny boy trying to climb a chair. “No, no. Stay on the ground.”

The boy laughs when Jongdae holds him and puts him on the floor. Jongdae sighs. The entire party has a green theme because his nephew is obsessed with plants. The kids are hiding behind the fake trees and trying to climb anything. It’s a mess. Adults don’t care anymore, probably because they’re exhausted of their own kids.

A small girl is crying on the corner. Jongdae walks to her and kneels.

“What happened?”

She shows him her hurt feet, but doesn’t stop crying. He opens his arms. She walks to him and holds his neck so he can pick her up.

“Oh, you see, it’s just a bruise,” he rocks her softly. “Let’s wash it and then you can play again, okay?”

She nods, still pouting and rubbing her eyes. He sings so she can be distracted while he cleans her feet. It was just a small cut. Her mother finds him on the way out of the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re there,” she says to the girl. “Ah, sorry.”

“No problem,” he smiles. “She’s a cute kid.”

He gives her to her mother and watches they leaving. He thinks about going out and drinking with the single adults, but he knows he will think about Baekhyun, Liyin and everything that happened on the past days, so he babysits the kids instead.

The Bearzilla seems to be mocking him, smiling and sitting on the corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

The first meeting for the December Issue happens almost two weeks later. There are so much Christmas-themed things going on that the entire building keeps dealing with the online magazine – that has to be updated daily. They meet at the morning and Jongdae is almost used to his old routine. He evens go to work on his scooter, since he rarely stops by Chaleur anymore. He stills visits the café when he has to work late, not because his place is leaking but because he need to breath fresh air, once in a while. His home now looks like a home; a fancy one, of course. Sehun and Luhan gave him any fancy adornment he liked, even if Jongdae was a minimalist type of guy. They fest bad and Jongdae accepted the gifts, so they would leave him alone.

He gets early, this time. Only Yoona is there. Jongdae picks coffee for both of them. Taemin comes after ten minutes, smiling and waving cutely. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, former Jongdae’s favorite coworkers, arrive at the same time, because Kyungsoo must have convinced Chanyeol to stop using that death machine that he calls a car.

Junmyeon gets to the meeting later and he looks slightly different. No weird sweater or shirt. An actual all black casual t-shirt and jeans. No mug, but papers on hand.

“Hello,” he says, walking in. “How are my favorite team?”

“Your only team,” Yoona corrects him.

“We’re fine,” Chanyeol says. “Can we just go straight to the point. I have to take my boyfriend to watch a concert overseas.”

“Everyone knows it’s Kyungsoo,” Jongdae whines. “You can say his name.”

“I hope one day you will find love and then you will understand,” Chanyeol says pointedly. “Now, can we go?”

Kyungsoo is unbothered. He’s using Chanyeol’s favorite Rolex. Jongdae wants to puke.

“You two ain’t my favorite coworkers anymore,” Jongdae says, but he wants to laugh. “It’s Taemin.”

“Do you guys know that Jongdae whines really loud when he has an orgasm?” Taemin says, smiling like a kid. “It sounds like an animal dying.”

“Forget it,” Jongdae shakes his head. “It’s Yoona.”

“Can I talk, now?” Junmyeon says, one hand shaking the papers, the other on his hips. “I have important news.”

They calm down and stare at him.

“I’m trying to find the reason why GOSH! aimed at us last month. I’m almost there. Someone paid them to specifically talk about our past love lives,” he says serious. “It may be someone who’s angry at one of us or we all, I’m not sure. They already did the same years ago with the Fashion section, but it was a different type of exposing, so it may be different.”

“Well,” Yoona leans her head to the side, making a face. “We all know these gossip magazines are paid by people interested in making news. It’s no surprise.”

“Yes,” Junmyeon says. “Soon I’ll get their name. But, for now. How are we going to be this month? We have to send the articles in less time than the last Issue.”

Everyone looks at Jongdae.

“I was thinking,” he says carefully. “And I think it’s about time that Rolling Stone talks about… something besides what’s just popular. I mean, we’re a music magazine, not a media one… even if we now cover all those things. So, I want to propose us to write about underground and B-sides this month.”

“Done,” Chanyeol screams. “I’m an expert on that.”

“Everyone agrees?” Junmyeon says. “What you want to write about?”

“I can make a critic of the best classic B-sides,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t like underground or new stuff, but I appreciate B-sides.”

“I can talk about underground shows,” Taemin says. “I was raised on that.”

“I’ll have some good reviews,” Yoona says. “I can also make the interview, this month, if Jongdae is okay with it.”

“I am,” Jongdae smiles. “I want the main article.”

“It’s yours,” Junmyeon says. “I want anything you write on my email in a week, so I can follow what’s going on. Understood?”

“Yes,” Yoona says in the name of everyone else. Jongdae leaves the room half confused, half pleased. He leaves with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

“That was the shortest meeting we ever had,” Jongdae says. He almost regrets leaving with them when he realizes that his friends are holding hands. “Do you guys have to shove it in everyone’s face?”

“Why are you so bitter,” Kyungsoo asks. “Baekhyun isn’t fucking your ass anymore?”

Jongdae still widens his eyes, because Kyungsoo’s boldness never gets old.

“I have other people fucking my ass, thank you,” Jongdae spits.

“Oh, yeah, is that the barista?” Chanyeol asks. “What exactly are you guys calling each other?”

“By the name,” Jongdae sighs. “We’re not dating.”

“Ah, there is,” Kyungsoo grins. “That’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” Jongdae says. “It’s fine.”

“I would help you figuring out that isn’t fine, but we have a plane to catch,” Kyungsoo says. “We see each other in two weeks.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week has passed and Jongdae is back to his old routine. He grabs his big messenger bag, his  _ok_  shoes, the mess of papers over the table and his best earbuds. He drives his Vesta patiently even if car people honk at him in the way. In the elevator, he meets the interns, all of them holding big coffee cups. They offer him one, but he refuses it politely. His article is almost done and he’s helping Yoona with the reviews. The last album he heard was from Koda Kumi and he was still jamming to it while writing new things.

He passes by Junmyeon’s room. It looks like a CSI episode – he has papers and pictures glued to the wall, and every one of them is connected by colored threads.

“Hello,” Jongdae says. Junmyeon turns to him, startled. “I came in peace.”

“Oh, Jongdae, it’s you,” he blinks, scratching his neck. “Hello. How can I help you?”

“Jenny, the new intern, was kidnapped by fashion, but she says she wants to talk about the mistreatment of girl groups,” Jongdae says carefully. There are at least five coffee cups on his boss’ table. “Yoona wants to write with her and I can revise it later. Do you think we can put on December?”

“Yes, I guess,” he rubs his eyes. “As long as she talks about the non-popular groups too, so we don’t mess the main theme.”

“Great,” Jongdae nods. “Don’t you want to… take a nap or…?”

“Huh?” Junmyeon smiles. “No, I’m great. I’ll go home earlier so I can have plenty of sleep. Thank you Jongdae.”

“Fine. I’ll be on my table,” Jongdae closes the door and goes back to his work. He’s so absorbed in finishing his article ‘ _B-sides: turn to the other side to see the real face of the artist’_ , that he ignores for a while the interns running around, without coffee in hands. He keeps writing and correcting, searching for the right worlds.

“… _B-sides were known as experimental songs, the place where the artist could explore besides commercial demands, but now, with technology helping fans to share songs, B-sides sometimes are known as rare songs, the ones that were discarded, out of the album ‘concept’ or just remaining songs. That doesn’t take away its ‘cool’ aura or_ …” He stops typing to look at Junghwa, a Video Games section intern, running and screaming while using a EXO t-shirt. Well, that’s not a scene you can see every day. He stands up and slowly follows her, watching from afar while she screeches her lungs out.

“… This is my favorite day ever,” Lisa is crying in front of her notebook. Jongdae looks at the interns’ big table and see the group of people watching form Lisa’s notebook. Yoona is standing, watching with them and Jongdae feels freer to join her.

“What’s happening?” He whispers. She looks at him, grinning.

“Shhhhh,” she says, pointing to the screen.

 _“… this is not a drill, not a drill_ ,” the brown-haired reporter is saying, holding her mike. She can’t stare at the camera all the time, because she seems to be watching something on her side. Many people pass by her and she seems excited. “ _… they’re about to leave the house to talk to the press!”_

The camera moves and focus in a door and for a moment, Jongdae expects a prime minister or any politician to come out and talk about a polemic subject, but it’s Yixing. He comes out and waves cutely and then, someone follows him. It’s Baekhyun. He’s using a big shirt, small glasses and his hair is bleached. He looks… soft. Jongdae gulps.

“ _… Oh, my god, it’s real,”_ the reporter is almost crying. “ _We were informed that Baekhyun was visiting Yixing and they’re here…”_

The camera moves to show her face and she’s wiping her eyes.

“ _What are a great day for every alien on the world. Out mothership is together again, as duo EXO reunites after six years,”_ she says proudly. “ _It seems to be just a friendly visiting, but that doesn’t stop us from dreaming about a collaboration. We know that Baekhyun avoided talking about Yixing since the rapper left the band and SME, but today it seems like we can have a taste of what would be if one of the most promising bands ever made kept together. They reunited and our hearts are full again.”_

“I didn’t know we had so many aliens here,” Jongdae mumbles, observing the commotion around him.

“How did you think we found out about you taking Baekhyun to a ride on your scooter?” Nayeon says, wiping her eyes. “We were waiting for this day…”

“You don’t seem very excited, Jongdae,” Yoona side eyes him. “Are you an anti or…?”

“Shhhhh,” Junghwa complains. “They’re about to talk!”

“… _It’s a nice day, even in a cold time like this. My friend Baekhyun is spending some time here with my family. We always considered him a part of us, so I couldn’t be happier,”_ Yixing says, smiling gracefully. “ _We aren’t here to talk about work. I’m seeing someone that I love very much after many years. I would like to have some privacy.”_

He says it in such a polite way, like he truly believes that people will leave him alone because he asked.

“ _What Yixing wants to say is that I’m going to send the security team to hunt you guys,”_ Baekhyun says, oddly smiling. “ _We’re not here to talk about EXO. If it’s about songs, you can just wait for it. That’s all. Let me wander around in peace, please.”_

Jongdae chuckles.

“You’re fond,” Yoona notices. “That’s right. I thought you would enjoy it. You don’t look like the bitter type.”

“Why would be bitter about EXO reuniting?” Jongdae raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” she says casually. “Rumor has it that you and Baekhyun had a thing going on.”

“Huh,” Jongdae shrugs. “There are a lot of rumors around…”

Yoona laughs. “Okay, everyone! I know it’s an important thing for you, but this is a work place. Please go back to your previous activities.”

She claps repeatedly and the interns start to disperse.

“We should go to,” she says to Jongdae. “I mean, there’s nothing else to see, right?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In theory, Yoona was right.

But in the practical, material reality of Jongdae’s world, he has a lot to see. He spends days following Baekhyun fansites, goes full on the jedis’ twitter and he even joins a group chat for news. It was just Baekhyun visiting places, sometimes with Yixing or other friends; once in a while, just him and Kris. He looked like he was having fun and Jongdae was happy for him, happy he was free.

Until Sehun knocked on his door in a Friday evening. Jongdae was free; they have closed an Issue before the dead line and this time Copy Edition wouldn’t send passive aggressive notes at the end of the magazine. Jongdae was ready to go out, he had put on perfume and he was using clean shoes. He was surprised to see Sehun there.

“Hello,” he says, after inviting Sehun in. “Nice to see you here… Any problem? I mean, I thought you have finished—”

“I’m here to chat,” Sehun says calmly. “Nothing about the apartment.

“Ah,” Jongdae sighs in relief. “That’s nice, but I’ll leave in half an hour.”

“Nah, you won’t,” Sehun says peacefully, sitting on the couch. “Did you like the painting?”

“Yes… of course,” Jongdae closes the door, licking his lips. “Very… abstract.”

“I did it,” Sehun nods. “I’m glad you liked.”

“That’s really nice,” Jongdae says sincerely. “Is that what you came to talk about?”

“No,” Sehun pats the space next to him. Jongdae gets the message and sits in the spot. “Have you talked to Baekhyun lately?”

“No,” Jongdae says. “He doesn’t talk to me. I think he’s busy.”

“He is,” Sehun agrees. “He doesn’t talk to me too. That’s weird. He always talks to me, even when he’s exhausted.”

“Maybe he’s having too much fun,” Jongdae shrugs.

“I don’t know, he’s acting weird. He fought a lot about a house he wanted to keep and now I just found out he gave it to his ex-wife. And they talked it in a dinner.”

“Oh,” Jongdae blinks, surprised. “That’s really nice, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Sehun scratches his head. “I think it’s weird. It’s like he’s leaving his past behind…”

“That’s definitely a good thing.”

“But if you leave all behind then, what’s left,” Sehun almost whispers. “I don’t want to say it’s a bad thing. Some of them aren’t. But I don’t know… I feel like he’s running away from something. Like when you’re a kid and you stop being afraid of ghosts because now you’re afraid of serial killers.”

Jongdae stares at him for a while.

“Why are you telling me that?”

“Baekhyun doesn’t have many close friends. Being an Idol is a really lonely life. I thought you may knew… Baekhyun said he told you things he never told anyone before.”

Jongdae gapes. He knew all of this already, but… listening it from someone else made it more real. He shakes his head unconsciously.

“I don’t know, it’s true, I promise,” Jongdae says softly. “I’m sorry I can’t help you with that. I’m glad Baekhyun has a good friend like you. That’s a gift, really.”

Sehun smiles shyly. Jongdae can see now he’s younger than he looks.

“Thank you.”

“I’m saying the truth.”

“Can I ask you something?” Sehun says, now serious. Jongdae freezes; what can it be? His mind starts to overthink: maybe about him and Baekhyun? What did they have? What Jongdae feels about him? What are they now? What—

“Of, of course,” Jongdae says. “Go on.”

“Why do you drive a Vespa?”

Jongdae stares at him. Then, he laughs hard.

“I don’t like to be stuck in traffic,” Jongdae laughs. “I like the agility. But I’m not into regular bikes, they look aggressive.”

“Ah,” Sehun smiles. “It makes sense.”

They talk for a while. Sehun is nice, but a but mischievous, like a kid. It’s easy to understand why he’s friends with Baekhyun. Jongdae leaves home late because of their talk and when he gets on Minseok’s house, he’s already ready… to sleep.

“What?” Jongdae reacts when Minseok opens the door and he’s in his pajamas. “I’m only twenty minutes late.”

“I know, sorry,” Minseok says, yawning. “I was going to text you to don’t come, but Luna was sitting on my phone and I couldn’t find it on time. I had to work last night, then take my sister to her friends’ house on the morning and classes the entire day. I’m… really tired.”

“That’s fine, you don’t have to explain anything,” Jongdae says softly. “I wasn’t even in the mood for loud music.”

“I know I’ve been too busy lately,” Minseok apologizes. “I think I’ll be free next week. I just hope my sister stops freaking out.”

“Oh,” Jongdae gulps. “What happened?”

“Ahn…?” Minseok chuckles. “Nothing bad. I mean, EXO reunited and now she’s twelve again. She can’t stop asking me for stuff, she can’t calm down.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae nods. “Everyone is overreacting. Even in my work.”

“I’m definitely afraid that she left with her friends so she can do a tattoo,” Minseok says worriedly. “She just reached the legal age for that. I will kill her if she gets home with ‘Baekxing’ written on her ass.”

Jongdae snorts.

“Let her have fun,” he says.

“That’s what I do, normally,” Minseok smiles. “Hey, don’t you want to get in? It’s weird to talk on the door.”

“Ah, no, you don’t have to. You can sleep, I won’t bother you anymore,” Jongdae moves his hands apologetically.  “I’ll go! I’ll call you.”

“You can stay,” Minseok says, serious. “I’ll be alone anyway. If you don’t have any plans…”

Jongdae is about to reply ‘but you’re too sleepy for sex’, when he realizes Minseok isn’t talking about sex. He’s talking about sleeping together. Sharing a bed. Only two of them. Three, with Luna.

Jongdae gulps and he’s not certain why this idea sounds so uncomfortable for him. It’s true that he never planned to have a relationship, but the thoughts of sharing a bed with Minseok warmed him for a long time – to not sleep alone, to have just a company there, not necessarily a boyfriend. It wouldn’t hurt sleep with him, after all. It would mean nothing besides kindness and intimacy.

Yet…

“Ah, I’m grateful for the offer, but I ditched Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to see you today, so I thought maybe I could visit them,” Jongdae lied.

“That’s fine,” Minseok says easily, he doesn’t seem disappointed. “I’ll see you later.”

Jongdae leaves with a bad taste in his mouth. He hates to lie and there was no reason to do that. He could just say his mind to Minseok. Now, after lying, he has to do what he said. He takes a long breath and calls Chanyeol to warn him about the visit.

It’ll be a long night.

 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo decided to live together. It was no surprise to the team, even if they just started dating weeks ago. They have known each other for years and it was just like adding the last piece to a puzzle. Now, they’re married.

Jongdae loves them both, but listening to their bickering (‘ _My house is cleaner and prettier, just bring your things’; ‘your house is tiny like you!! It won’t fit my things’; ‘that’s because your house is a storage, not a place for human beings’)_ and watching them send each other cute looks makes Jongdae tired. And he can’t say anything, because they just go and roast him.

“We’re watching Black Panther,” Chanyeol says, offering a big sack of popcorn to Jongdae. The couch on Kyungsoo’s living room is between two big closets and there are dozens of boxes around. “Have you seen at least the beginning?”

“No,” Jongdae says, taking the bag. “I never watched it.”

“Everybody watched Black Panther,” Kyungsoo frowns. “I mean, I did.”

“I know, but March wasn’t a good month for me,” Jongdae mumbles. “I don’t mind if we skip the intro.”

“The intro is important,” Chanyeol says, sitting and occupying half of the couch. Kyungsoo is quietly smashed on the corner and they doesn’t seem to care. “What are you doing here? I mean, you never came before.”

“In a Friday night,” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“This is the only safe day where I can come and not be forced to help you to unpack.”

“That’s a plain lie,” Chanyeol complains. “Kyungsoo doesn’t even let me unpack! He thinks I’m going to hide stuff that he wants to throw away.”

“You will,” Kyungsoo says. “And Jongdae was ditched by the barista.”

“He did not ditch me,” Jongdae says. He takes a breath. “He asked me to spend the night, but he was sleepy and tired so I let him rest.”

“Well, you could have stayed and just sle—Oh,” Chanyeol looks at Jongdae. “You’re avoiding to do relationship stuff.”

“Aren’t you too old for that, Jongdae?” Kyungsoo side eyes him. “Did you become a womanizer? But with men?”

“I didn’t become anything. I just don’t want to sleep,” Jongdae says. “I also didn’t want to disturb him.”

“That’s not you,” Kyungsoo says. “You would stay with us, even if it was to make us laugh and annoy us, for example. You’re avoiding to get deeper with him. That’s not a crime. You can say it.”

Jongdae just keep quiet, instead. He doesn’t know what he should say. He watches the movie and them sleeps on the couch, instead of going home. In the morning, Kyungsoo makes them waffles and he goes back home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When his article is published, his mother sends him a picture of the pages framed on the wall. Jongdae receives many emails congratulating him or just pictures of his friends reading the article. Even Liyin sends him a picture of her reading it, now that he unblocked her on social media. Sehun passes by his home to say he bought a hundred magazines (he’s… an enthusiastic friend) and he feels a bit better about his work. Baekhyun says nothing and at this point, Jongdae is sure that he’s probably having the time of his life and he doesn’t care for anything else. The Jedi’s news shows him back at Europe and his Instagram has him eating in aesthetically pleasing places while looking beautiful.

He has a small surprise while checking twitter.

 

 **Baekhyun in EU**  @jedisline – 1 h

_Baekhyun is seen around Paris, France._

 

 **BAEKXING REVIVAL**  @baekxingneverendedantis – 1 h

Replying to @jedisline

_RICH DADDY IS BACK ON THE GAME LOOK AT THIS FUCKING CKLOTHES HE LOOKS LIKE A CEO_

**bbh’s cute glasses** @backtomyufo – 1 h

Replying to @jedisline

_Is he carrying a plushie with him while dressing up like that??? He’s such a kid I love him_

**Baekhyun’s second wife**  @callmejediiiii – 1 h

_A dinosaur plushie bishh he came out to murder mebbebqhahabsbiaij_

 

 **EXO’S NEW ALBUM 2018** @iluvbbhpinkhair – 1 h

Replying to @jedisline

 _Byun Baekhyun, 26, divorced and an awarded singer, walks around in a Grown Ass Expensive Coat_ _™ while holding… a kid’s plushie. It’s not even wrapped, it’s his!!!_

 

 **yinxingyin**  @1991whatsyouremergency – 2 h

Replying to @jedisline

_Probably a fan’s gift!! Anyways, when is Yixing going to meet him again :(_

 

Jongdae knows very well who gifted him that plushie, but since Baekhyun isn’t talking to him, he just lets his hopes die.

 

 

 

 

 

The fist meeting for January Issue is… a mess – but Jongdae is unaware of this, because it’s his fist time. He walks in the floor and he already see people running with paper in hands, interns screaming and the coffee machine is out of order. He knew it wouldn’t be easy – in December, they have less time to finish everything, and, at the same time, the first Issue is considered the most important of the year, as it’s also the anniversary of the first edition of the national version. Copy Edition’s intern, a girl of sixteen years (!!!!) called Olivia, who’s not just a genius for being accepted in College with fifteen but also a potential serial killer, passes by the corridors, staring at everyone, as if she’s asking them to dare to send their articles late this time.

 

Jongdae runs to the meeting room before she catches him. He opens the door, goes in and closes it fast. Taking a long breath, he turns to see his co-workers and bosses.

They’re all there, sitting in their regular spots. But behind Junmyeon, there is a huge screen on his table. He’s standing and he gesticulate to Jongdae to sit down.

“Good morning,” Jongdae says, sitting on his chair.

“Good morning, Jongdae,” Junmyeon says, serious. “Since we’re all here, I guess we can start our meeting. I’ll ask thirty minutes of your time before we discuss the January Issue.”

Everyone is quiet.

“As you all know, I’ve been investigating to find the reason why GOSH! was on our feet. I had to bribe few journalists, I went through a deep and profound mental work and I’ve had to call few people and I finally found the responsible for giving me crinkles.”

“And who’s it?” Taemin asks.

“Before I say his name, I’ll tell you how I get there,” Yoona rolls her eyes back while her boss is speaking. “First, as we know, Rolling Stone Employees were a target of gossips many times before. But, mostly about their current behaviors, for example, the Sunmi’s strip club case. This time, they decided to talk about our past romantic lives, specifically on music section, so it wasn’t about one person but they had just one subject.”

Kyungsoo is definitely taking a nap.

“I noticed that, of course, they hadn’t say a word about my past relationships,” Junmyeon continues, walking in circles. “Instead, they mocked my clothes, my plastic surgeries and… let’s be honest… my team. While a rumor may be a source of pain in your personal life, it directly questions my work as your editor. I’m the hieraquical superior and I’m responsible for my team’s behavior.”

Chanyeol elbows Kyungsoo and he wakes up.

“That said… I get to the conclusion that this person was aiming at me as a revenge and based on who could be interested in mocking my appearance but not my relationships… I could only think about my dramatic ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, that’s becoming more interesting,” Yoona mumbles.

Junmyeon types on his phone and the giant screen shows it – he’s videocalling someone. It’s an international call, by the numbers on it.

A man appears on the screen. He’s sitting next to a balcony, and he’s using a pink robe. He has eyeliner in his eyes and he’s devastatingly beautiful.

“ _Hello_ ,” the man says dryly.

“Hello, Zitao,” Junmyeon says dryly too. “Long time no see.”

“ _Yes, long time no see, what a bless_ ,” he grins. “ _What do you want_?”

“I want you to explain why you decided to do this mess.”

“ _What mess?_ ”

“What mess? Don’t pretend you don’t know what you did,” Junmyeon raises a finger, losing his cool. Taemin seems about to catch a popcorn bag to watch the fight. “Is that how you get back at me after we break up? By creating gossips about people’s life?”

“Huang Zitao, 25, fashion editor at Rolling Stone China, also a socialite, I think,” Yoona mumbles, pushing her phone on the table so it can slide to Jongdae. Jongdae catches it and shows to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

“I didn’t create any gossip,” Zitao says, frowning. “I only… encouraged… a magazine to find good news.”

“I never expected you to scoop so low,” Junmyeon spits. “I know we had fights, but this? Didn’t you have a better way to tell me that you’re still mad?”

“Some people breaks the ex’s car, but I’m not a fan of violence. Also, you don’t care about your car,” Zitao inspects his nails, bored. “What’s the point of getting revenge if it doesn’t get where it hurts? Also, you know I don’t do anything that doesn’t get to the magazine’s cover.”

“You…!” Junmyeon narrows his eyes. “Apologize to my team! This should have been between you and me!”

Zitao seems to consider. “I’m sorry if I have created problems for you. I just payed GOSH! to make Junmyeon looks bad. I had no intention of hurting anyone else in the way. In my defense, he dumped me because of his career, so I had the right to attack it.”

“You hadn’t any right to—”

“Shut up,” Yoona says loudly, but still elegantly. “Good lord, what a mess. Mr… Huang Zitao, can you guarantee us that this mess is over?”

“Yes,” Zitao says, looking at her. “I’m done.”

“Since I’m the oldest here,” she says, “I would like to say in the name of the team, that we forgive you. It was a bad thing, but at this point, no one else cares.”

Jongdae nods and Chanyeol too. Taemin just smiles and Kyungsoo is taking a nap again.

“What…?” Junmyeon is truly confused.

“Yes,” she continues. “We also believe that now you two should discuss this in private, since it’s a private matter. By the way, you two look like a cute couple and maybe you should get back together? I don’t know, but now, we have work things to discuss, so it was nice to meet you.”

“It was nice to meet you too. Bye,” Zitao says before hanging up. Junmyeon is just gaping at Yoona.

“Well, so, what are we talking about this month, Jongdae?” Taemin asks, smiling.

“I don’t want to be the person in charge, people,” Jongdae raises his hands defensively. “I mean, I just want to have my own article. Let Kyungsoo decide.”

Chanyeol elbows Kyungsoo again. Kyungsoo wakes up and rubs his eyes.

“I was thinking about writing…” Chanyeol whispers something in his ears. “Ah, okay. Since it’s the first Issue in the year, I think we should talk about ends and beginnings. I’ll write about few albums that marked the revival f singers and the ones who ended their careers.”

“That’s nice,” Yoona says. “I was talking to Jennie about girl bands and I can cover the ending of the girl bands by following the ex-member’s solo careers.”

“I’m always ready to see some rookies,” Taemin smiles. “Count me in.”

“I don’t have a plan yet,” Chanyeol says, scratching his head. “But I’ll find some concert to fit it. Maybe the TVQX tour now they’re back?”

Junmyeon nods; he’s used to Chanyeol’s mess. In the end, Chanyeol does everything right, even if his methods are a chaos.

“I…” Jongdae scratches his head. “I guess I could publish Baekhyun’s interview?”

“He left EXO years ago,” Yoona frowns. “How can it fit our theme?”

“Just trust me,” Jongdae says. “You’ll understand soon.”

“Anyways, he has to publish it soon, otherwise it will be outdated and we will have to publish only when it’s considered a rare interview,” Junmyeon says. “So, yeah, maybe you should write it, Jongdae.”

“Great,” Jongdae smiles. He has to finish this chapter of his life, anyway. In the same day, later at night, the group chat explodes in messages.

 

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** _ Singer Byun Baekhyun do not re-sign his contract with SME _

**Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Is it what you were talking about, Jongdae?!

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I mean!!!!!!! What the hell???

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** he received his sock and now he’s a free elf

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I’m glad I didn’t become an Idol

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** Everyone is just freaking out?

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** SM released the note confirming today

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** says ‘he wants to focus on his personal life’

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** at least it isn’t on this ‘acting career’

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** ‘studies’

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** this is a big thing!!!

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** I wonder how Jongdae knew it

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** ◔_◔

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** keep thinking about it.

 

 

 

 **Chanyeol:** I tell you everything

 **Chanyeol:** I told you the first time Kyungsoo said I love you

 **Chanyeol:** I told you about the weird nightmare I had

 **Chanyeol:** I told you when I bought Zootopia flip flops

 **Chanyeol:** And that could put me in trouble

 **Jongdae:** he told me during the interview

 **Jongdae:** it’s not that deep, man

 **Chanyeol:** really?

 **Chanyeol:** because you have this look when you talk about him

 **Chanyeol:** your voice changes it gets soft

 **Chanyeol:** you’re literally uwu-ing

 **Jongdae:** no, I’m not

 **Chanyeol:** AH YOU LIKE HIM DON’T YOU????

 **Chanyeol:** (*>∀<)ゞ★☆

 

Jongdae sighs. Does he? Does he like Baekhyun? Because sometimes he… almost believes it. Maybe Jongdae likes him, yes, but as whole human being. Like a friend. That you’re also sexually attracted. And you enjoy taking naps with. Or just talking for hours. And watching the stars.

Jongdae never had a friend like this. He likes to see Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, not taking naps and spending the whole time with them. Actually, Jongdae doesn’t have anyone else he wants to spend the _whole_ time. He likes to be free. He was just okay being around Baekhyun.

Oh.

He thinks about _Minseok and Junmyeon._ Jongdae was a hundred percent sure he wanted Minseok and he spent months just… trying his best to not panic around him. And he can see how his boss always tried to be extra soft with him, to impress him… That’s a crush. And crushes are based in idealization.

He never idealized Baekhyun. Jongdae met him as a person, not the idol. He saw Baekhyun’s worst traits, his fragility, his bare face. And Jongdae liked him, wanted to be around him, to kiss him and take care of him.

Being honest to himself, Jongdae still wants to do it.

He sits on the front of his laptop and open the document where he’s trying to write Baekhyun’s article for weeks.

He types.

 **NO ALIEN, NO GALAXY WARRIOR, NO IDOL:** _my days with Byun Baekhyun, a fan of stranger things, kid’s ice-cream and taking naps._

_The first time I met Baekhyun, in person, I was literally attacked. Reading this sentence, I guess any other teenager fan could have write it. Byun Baekhyun is made to attack people: he has a warm voice, good looks and the too-cool-for-you Idol aura. Idols like him are made to make you feel like an ant, just another person next to a god – they’re made to be worshipped. They make no mistakes, they never look bad, all they do is to accomplish more and more and, of course, you decide to choose one as your personal religion, you can turn them in the ultimate savior. Every time they win, you win too. You can’t be like them, but you can love them and you can be a part of their lives, which almost as good. But that isn’t how I met him. I met him with no makeup, no stage or light to uplift his existence. I met a hungry sugar-starved singer that has to follow a strict diet, avoids having a bed after his divorce and also keeps comparing himself to other people. I met someone… like me. When he invades my kitchen with the help of my landlord, he warns me, ‘I’m a Taurus and I take food very seriously’. It’s true, he’s a food enthusiast, but he’s also ready to give up of this pleasure to be in the right physical form to perform. It’s painful to watch while he looks to candy, already so used to deny himself this small happiness. Baekhyun has a favorite food, a rainbow ice-cream that he treats himself in bad times. Some people have their happy place, Baekhyun has his happy food. It’s sweet, colorful and tasty and somehow, looks like him._

_In his house, that he calls ‘personal paradise’, you can find dozens of pillows, videogame and beer. He doesn’t seem to care much about organization, but he likes to sleep on soft things, to take a good shower and sleep. He’s a sensorial man and he admits he’s working on his self-control, but he also has a big manager to keep an eye on him. Baekhyun has a close relationship with his manager and they share a life like friends. Baekhyun has a busy schedule, running around with no time for himself, no choice but follows what people ask and even like that, a smile easily blooms in his face, even when he’s in pain. I have exactly twenty minutes recorded of him speaking, but the memories of that time we spend together are way longer and it will be graved on my memory forever. The scary face he did while we watched Stranger Things, the sound of his laugh when he was distracted, but happy… That only time when he sang to me one of his original songs that never make it to his albums. As someone who was never fan of Idol Baekhyun, I can clearly see why people are obsessed with him. Not only talented, Baekhyun has a genuine love for his fans and keeps their gifts with him as trophies. He gave years of his life in exchange to make people happy and he feeds on their love. If that’s our modern concept of god, even I may accept._

_‘ I’m kind of tired of being silent ‘, he says and it’s hard to figure a known whiney Idol like him to be anything but silent. But what else he would be when he can’t sing what he wants? What’s a singer who can’t sing what comes from his heart? Talking to him was an absolute pleasure and even if Baekhyun has made quite a name by saying ‘too much’, he has even more to say. But are his fans ready to listen to it? I question myself. As he shows me his summer house – now, not his anymore – he talks with passion about his dreams. He wants a family, kids, he wants to keep singing, to show his real voice and listening to him inspires me like he inspired many people during his almost ten years of hard work. He asks me, ‘I do break a lot of hearts out there, don’t I?’, and I agree. He confides me, ‘I was afraid of not being good enough’, and I understand. He’s a person, after all. We all have questions about ourselves, even if we got so much recognition. Baekhyun seems to be always chasing something and I have no doubt in my mind he can get it. While he’s out there, I hope he keeps breaking hearts, having fun and taking long naps. I also hope he keeps stealing the show with his true words, his own songs, like he once stole my ice-cream. And my heart._

 

 

Jongdae stares at the article for five days. He helps the interns, he writes reviews and he thinks about deleting everything he wrote about Baekhyun. Life keeps being the same, no news. He goes to work, he comes back and sometimes he watches Grey’s Anatomy. He visits the _Chaleur_ to see Minseok once in a while, but Minseok is being cold to him. Jongdae knows it’s because of that day and he’s sure he deserves it, but at the same time, he doesn’t know how to fix it. Specially because he’s almost sure that now he’s just trying to forget whatever he had with Baekhyun, which is not a good thing.

Jongdae goes back home after work on a cold day and he realizes his front door is open. He walks in expecting Sehun, but he faces Kim Jongin.

Sitting in his couch, only in socks, pants and sweater, as if he lives there. Jongdae just gapes.

“Hello,” Jongin says. “Do you have food or…?”

“Yes, I do,” Jongdae lifts the bag he’s holding. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well, I came here to talk to you,” he shrugs. “But my pants were wet because I dropped coffee on them, so your landlord let me in.”

“He could take you to his own house,” Jongdae sighs. “Ok, I’m here. What do you want to talk?”

“Give me food,” Jongin pouts.

Jongdae gives up and they have dinner together. When they finish, Jongin gives him a phone.

“Fix him,” Jongin complains. “Fix him now.”

“What?” Jongdae asks and checks the phone. It’s a conversation, right over a picture of Baekhyun on the Eiffel Tower.

 

 **Baekdumb:** Joker to my Batman

 **Baekdumb:** Lex Luthor to my Superman

 **Baekdumb:** Draco to my Harry

 **Baekdumb:** Look where I am!!!! You mad????

 **Jongin:** draco had a crush on harry I would never be him

 **Jongin:** and why are your eyes red

 **Jongin:** are you smoking pot or crying

 **Baekdumb:** pfffffffffffff it was the weather

 **Baekdumb:** allergic reaction

 **Baekdumb:** I’m fine ignore it

 **Jongin:** are you crying aren’t you

 **Baekdumb:** no

 **Jongin:** Baekhyun

 **Baekdumb:** I’m just having TOO MUCH FUN!!

 **Baekdumb:** I cried in the process

 **Jongin:** you’re a joke spill it out

 **Baekdumb:** FINE

 **Baekdumb:** don’t mock me

 **Baekdumb:** do you remember the guy I fucked in your house

 **Jongin:** how could I forget those noises

 **Jongin:** they haunt me in my nightmares

 **Jongin:** also he fucked you??? I was 99% sure

 **Baekdumb:** it doesn’t matter who fucked who

 **Baekdumb:** so maybe

 **Baekdumb:** MAYBE

 **Baekdumb:** I like him

 **Baekdumb:** AND MAYBE

 **Baekdumb:** I’ve been listening to Mariah Carey and crying

 **Baekdumb:** AND MAAAAAAYBE

 **Baekdumb:** I sleep with a dinosaur plushie he gave me

 **Jongin:** you’re a joke, jelly belly

 **Jongin:** don’t you get tired of falling in love :/

 **Jongin:** you know you get hurt easily

 **Jongin:** that guy didn’t look like he was like that

 **Baekdumb:** I’m a mess

 **Baekdumb:** we only knew each other for days

 **Baekdumb:** but we fit? Idk how to explain better

 **Baekdumb:** it’s like listening to your favorite song for the fist time

 **Baekdumb:** and you’re like WOW

 **Baekdumb:** but then the song doesn’t leave with your mind

 **Baekdumb:** and you can’t think a new song can break your old faves

 **Baekdumb:** but it does

 **Baekdumb:** but yeah he was only doing his job

 **Baekdumb:** and having fun

 **Baekdumb:** why no one wants to be with me

 **Jongin:** don’t say bullshit

 **Jongin:** go to a club and have fun

 **Jongin:** enjoy your trip

 **Jongin:** when you come back we can watch sex and the city and cry

 **Jongin:** but now you have to enjoy

 

“How long is this conversation…” Jongdae gulps. “Does he know I’m reading it?”

“No, of course,” Jongin laughs. “He would kill me. For real. And he has done crazy things to me.”

“I believe you,” Jongdae says. “But why are you showing me this?”

“Listen, I know Baekhyun hasn’t told you about his feelings,” Jongin says, serious. “Sometimes we just get used to pretend we’re happy and satisfied. When you’re a performer for too long, it’s easy to pretend. It’s easy to give people what they want. He doesn’t know how to… to say what he truly wants. He has to lie first.”

Jongdae nods.

“Baekhyun is a great guy,” Jongin says, and he sounds angry. “He’s great in everything. You can’t let him go. You can’t just… treat him like a fuck. He’s too good to be just a thing.”

“Well, it’s scary to hear that from you.”

“Yeah, once I said that he looked like a squirrel,” Jongin smiles and Jongdae frowns. “But you know, even if I mocked him a thousand times, nothing would beat breaking his heart. So you’re the bad guy, here, dude.”

“I’m not,” Jongdae says defensively. “I like him!”

“Great, you’re not that dumb,” Jongin smiles. “Now, do something!”

“What…?”

“Anything. Bring him back. Tell him you want to be with him,” Jongin says. “Just… let him know.”

“Fine,” Jongdae nods. He knows exactly how he will do it.

 

 

 

 

 

He drops the article by Junmyeon’s table a week later. Jongdae also gives him the pictures from Baekhyun.

“It’s done?” Junmyeon smiles. “Ah, I’m glad. No one is breaking the deadline this time.”

 

 

 

 

The worst part is waiting for something to happen. He comes home to spend Christmas with his family and he has a lot of fun in the New Year’s Eve party. Chanyeol drinks too much and passes out, Taemin brings his husband, Yoona makes out with Nayeon and Junmyeon takes his evil (ex?) boyfriend to the party. Jongdae buys gifts to his landlords and they give him a cake, ‘ _Sorry If we’re a pain in your ass’_.

Jongdae eats it while watching the new season of Grey’s Anatomy.

In the fist day of the year, he decides to adopt a cat. He ends up with a big, old female, Meredith. He spends days trying to get used to take care of her. He has to adapt the house and he’s so focused on his cat that he forgets the magazine.

 

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** SEDRFTGYUH KIM JONGDAESDFGHJ

 **Chanyeol @ musicsection RS:** what the fuck was that????????

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** that was so cute

 **Taemin @ musicsection RS:** I mean I teared up

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** <3

 **Yoona @ musicsection RS:** I am so rooting for you two

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** You could at least try to hide your impartiality…

 **Kyungsoo @ musicsection RS:** but I guess I should say go get your man.

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** thanks :)

 **Jongdae @ musicsection RS:** Meredith is saying hi.

 

Jongdae can’t even take a look at Baekhyun’s fans’ account. He’s too nervous to get their reaction and if they hate it, he would feel even more disappointed that if his coworkers did. He avoids any media, but he still checks his messages… just in case Baekhyun talks.

He doesn’t. Jongdae doesn’t even knows where he is.

Jongdae gets distracted with Meredith. She’s not peeing around the box, like she used to, so he’s happy. He has to clean his things twice now he has a cat. Minseok teaches him few things, but they barely see each other in person. He seems to be friendly, at least. He talks to Jongdae, even if they don’t go out or meet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January’s first meeting ends up being on the same day the Kyungsoo’s birthday, mostly because no one cares about February Issue. They have a short meeting and decided to talk about rock and jazz, because they focused too much on pop music on the last Issue. Chanyeol brings a cake to Kyungsoo, Yoona brings beers and they have their own party in their meeting room. It’s nice.

Jongdae looks at the selfie they took and he feels good. He feels like he belongs.

His life isn’t bad, even if he misses Baekhyun.

 

He’s walking inside the building when he runs into Sehun.

“Hello,” he says, smiling. He’s holding Meredith. “I was going to take her for a walk.”

“Ah, thank you,” Jongdae sighs. Meredith hates to exercise, but she’s overweight. “I was going to do that…”

“You don’t have to,” Sehun shakes his head. “I cleaned her box and everything. You don’t have to worry.”

“Thank you…” Jongdae frowns. He’s too happy for a person who cleaned cat shit.

“Bye,” Sehun says, leaving. Jongdae stares at him for a while and then shrugs. People are weird. He waits for the elevator and hopes he can at least take a nap before Meredith starts to complain.

The elevator door opens and Jongdae walks in. He takes a while to notice the pink post it on the mirror.

_ Surprise! _

__

Jongdae removes it, confused. He looks around when the elevator stops in his floor, but there’s no one.

He picks his keys and he’s about to open the door when he faces the blue post it glued on it.

_ Almost there! Hurry up! _

 

Jongdae takes it and stares at both papers, even more confused. He opens the door.

Nothing.

He walks around the kitchen, looks under the table, checks the living room and he only sees another post it when he’s going to check the bathroom. It’s glued on his bedroom door. It’s a yellow post-it.

 

_ Open the door, dumbass! _

__

Jongdae feels slightly offended, but he drops his bag on the floor and opens the door.

“Oh my god, finally,” Baekhyun says.

Jongdae walks in, gaping. Baekhyun is on his bed, laying naked with salmon and sushi all over him.

“What the fuck…?” Jongdae mumbles.

“Hello, long time no see,” Baekhyun says, turning his neck carefully to look at Jongdae. “I’m here!”

“Why are you messing up with my bed?” Jongdae whines. “Do you think is remotely okay to put food on the same place you sleep?”

“Oh, god, I hate your Virgo ass,” Baekhyun closes his eyes. “This is sexy and romantic, okay? Do you think I enjoy this? There’s a cold one on my dick that’s scratching and I can’t—”

“Okay, okay,” Jongdae laughs and runs to Baekhyun. “Let me take few of these so you can sit down.”

“You have to eat it,” Baekhyun says. “I’m serious.”

Jongdae puts many on his mouth and munches. Baekhyun tries to sit down. It takes a good minute but nothing falls on bed.

“Hey, you won’t say that you missed me?” Baekhyun complains.

“I missed you,” Jongdae sits next to him and stares at the singer. He looks the same. “A lot.”

“Were you saying the truth in your article?” Baekhyun asks slowly, inspecting Jongdae’s face. “Or were you just trying to sell magazines?”

“I don’t get to sell magazines using old news,” Jongdae says and leans in to kiss Baekhyun briefly. “I like you and I want to be with you.”

Baekhyun looks down.

“You better,” Baekhyun smiles brightly. “I would look ridiculous if you dumped me now.”

“You look ridiculous.”

“Jongin told me it would be sexy,” Baekhyun sighs. “He was mocking me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know why I listen to him…” Baekhyun gulps. “At least I’m already naked. Are we going to make out or not?”

“You’re going to take a bath,” Jongdae points to the door. “And then we will talk about it.”

“You’re no fun,” Baekhyun whines.

“True,” Jongdae picks a sushi and eats it. “But you’ll have to deal with it. Because I won’t let you go that easy this time.”

Baekhyun kisses him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

Jongin’s birthday party is a week later and it’s nostalgic to return to his apartment. Baekhyun even makes Jongdae drive them. Taemin and Jonghyun are there, and Yoona too, but they barely see her. Jongdae says hello to a bunch of Baekhyun’s friends – he is introduced as Baekhyun’s boyfriend. Jongdae isn’t really comfortable with the label yet, but he doesn’t contest it.    

“Let’s go to the balcony,” Baekhyun winks. “Then, we can drink.”

“I don’t want to have sex there,” Jongdae complains, but lets Baekhyun drags him around. “Please, I don’t like high—”

“Shhh,” he says, pulling Jongdae.

The balcony is almost empty, with exception of two smokers on the corner. The place isn’t a mess yet, mostly because it’s a birthday party, but also because it’s early. Baekhyun presses Jongdae against the wall, and the wind is too strong on their faces.

“It’s cold,” Jongdae whines.

“I know,” Baekhyun says. “Let me warm you with a proposal.”

Jongdae gulps, “I’m too young to marry.”

“What?” Baekhyun laughs. “I just got divorced. You don’t get to worry about that… for a year.”

“What?” Jongdae almost screams. Baekhyun shushes him again.

“So you know I’ve been choosing the songs for the solo album,” Baekhyun says slowly, caressing Jongdae’s face gently. Their chests are touching but it’s just intimate, not sexual. “I want to put one specifically which would require a duet.”

“I bet there are many people who would love to collaborate—”

“But I only want one person,” Baekhyun cuts him. “You.”

“We have talked about that,” Jongdae sighs. “I’m not a singer.”

“I bet if Minseok asked you would—”

“Geez, you’re a jealous guy, aren’t you?” Jongdae laughs. “I know you’re trying to manipulate me. It’s not going to work.”

“I brought you to the balcony so if you say no I can throw you from here,” Baekhyun points to the outside with his head. “Come on, just one song, babe. Just one.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes back.

“Fine,” Jongdae says and Baekhyun makes a happy dance. “Just one song.”

Baekhyun is beaming and Jongdae can’t really stay mad. They kiss there, a wet and slow kiss. Jongdae’s senses are overwhelmed. He can taste Baekhyun, listen to someone singing, feel the wind on his face, hold Baekhyun’s waist… He’s… satisfied.

“I guess… now,” Baekhyun breaks the kiss and stares at him. “We have to fuck so loudly that maybe someone will publish it.”

“Don’t say that,” Jongdae snorts, slapping him playfully.

“Ok. Let’s just traumatize Jongin a bit more,” Baekhyun laughs, pulling Jongdae by the arm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**ROLLING STONE. COM**

**ALBUM CRITICS**

**_ THE DARK PLACE – BYUN BAEKHYUN _ **

Do Kyungsoo

From the seven tracks on the album, only three made me want to puke. I would elaborate this critic, but I was threatened by a co-worker and I ‘can’t say bad things’. Consider this the best work from Baekhyun, even if that is not a challenge. I would say okay. Best song is definitely the duet ‘Stay with me’. Amazing. Go buy it.

(Please Jongdae, I have no idea where you locked Chanyeol, but if I don’t feed him every four hours, he starts to cry.)

 

 

 

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks Consorte!
> 
>  
> 
> I was really in a rush to finish this. I was expecting it to be waaaay shorter. It drained my energy, but I guess it was worth... I hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Let me know what you think about this mess!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic was my attempt to create a fun story. I wrote it in december and I stopped writing in 18/12 (self explanatory). Then, I've decided to finish it, because it's my way of coping. This fic isn't angsty, but of course, sometimes there will be some crying - but no Shinee member is unhappy here.  
> Also, I need more baekchen. The title is from Hooked up on a feeling, Blue Swede.  
> I hope you all enjoy the ride :)  
>  
> 
> Thanks Rhoda for reading this!!! She's the best!!!!


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